A 4 Out of 12 Christmas

     This week we sing a song of the season but forget most of the choruses. First Tyler brings some French Hens with a French romantic drama in the shape of 2013's Blue is the Warmest Color. 

     We take aim at a dozen or so lords a-leaping using the best of all English traditions, murdering an extended family for power. Original Obi Wan won't know what hits him... again and again and again in the search for Kind Hearts and Coronets.

     Nick Cannon is in Drumline. It's a movie about a drumline which is what you call a group of drummers drumming.

     Finally, we learn that Craig is not in the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds and believes that chickens are geese or calling birds maybe? I don't know. It's a flimsy excuse to force Death Laid an Egg on us. There is no bitterness over this. Nope. None at all.

     All that and Tyler feels the Force, Kevin takes a very special Hallmark star hostage until they love him, and Dave faces his midlife crisis with much whimpering. Join us, won't you?


Episode 134- A 4 Out of 12 Christmas

Terror in Albion

     T'was the week before RotP's year end holiday special and all through the Neon Purple Trailer not a creature was stirring... except us and designated hitter Anna. And loud they were, with frivolity and stuff and junk and I am ashamed I couldn't keep that thing going.
     First up, a trip to the past based on a beloved UK TV series that is based on a book series which probably isn't nearly as beloved or the author/rights holder wouldn't have let them make this. It is the early days of the reign of Nero and Rome is having a minor headache from a very troublesome Celt and her army. Too bad we won't focus on that, except for some painful musical numbers. No, instead we were shown a connected story about boy Roman meets girl Celtic Chieftain's Daughter and their disgusting and drawn out mating ritual. I made that sound better than it is, sorry about Horrible Histories: The Movie- Rotten Romans.
     Then in the only actual exercise of holiday cheer we take a gander at an early slasher when they occasionally did more than just murder buxom teens near lakes. Back to the days when there could be a little room for more going on than Famous in the Future people getting lost on canoes or arrows through the throat. Back to the days when someone said "I want to make a movie about a man's descent into Santa Psychosis". Christmas Evil might just be the yule log we all need in these dismal days. It might not.
     All that and Dave spoils three movies with the same title, Anna hides behind a small voice so no one notices her bullying, Kevin channels us from the other side, Tyler's heart grows three sizes larger and we all take him to the hospital because that is a bad thing. Join us, won't you?

Episode 133- Terror in Albion

Mean-ish Streets

     The Holiday Cheer just keeps spreading! Like a fungus or sexy time communicable disease!

     First up, Andrea Arnold's feature debut, Red Road. Made as the first film in the Advance Party series, a planned trilogy where each film was to be made by different first time directors and producers using the same cast and characters, the film focuses on Jackie Morrison (Kate Dickie) a Glasgow CCTV operator. One day a man from Jackie's past, one she never thought she would see again, appears on her monitors and kicks off a spiral of obsession and revenge. 

     Next up, brilliant documentarian Barbara Kopple's only fictional feature- Havoc. When bored, unaffected, culturally appropriative rich kids venture into the poorer areas of East LA a run in with a drug dealer will give one a taste for danger. Allison Lang (Anne Hathaway) reaches out for some connection, when she can't find it with her father or her boyfriend or the strange dude filming her as much as possible (no, seriously, the fuck was that all about???) and thinks she may have found it with Latino dealer Hector (Freddy Rodriguez). 

     All that and Tyler finds his inner voice just in time for the Carol Competition, Kevin becomes a disembodied time travelling voice, and Dave is very disappointed with some social aspects of both films.

Join us, won't you?
Episode 132- Mean-ish Streets

   

Infantile Adversary

This week we kick off the season of giving with a pair of stone cold classics... of varying recognition. First up, Ted Post finished his stellar 1973 with one of the greatest reveals in film history with the terrible tale of The Baby. A young, recently bereaved social worker is assigned to the case of Baby, the family is not happy with this meddlesome busybody, and her mother-in-law just wants her new pool finished.
Then we discuss one of cinema's most charismatic performers, James Cagney, in his breakout role. Tom Powers has a very Dickensian childhood, so who could blame him for growing up to be The Public Enemy.
All that and Dave just doesn't remember the 48-hour worst movie marathon, Kevin subjects his wife to cruel pictures, and Tyler plots from the shadows... from some VERY French shadows. Join us, won't you?

Episode 131- Infantile Adversary