Salty about Craig's Vinegar

 This week- a tour through Craig's Vinegar Syndrome collection brings ruin.

When Madeline, who lost her ability to speak due to trauma, is picked up, on her way to therapy, by Tony, a human trafficker who enjoys writing taunting letters to his victim's families, she is soon forced into a life of addiction and sexual assault. Fortunately, she is given every Monday off to attend classes in revenge. A seminal, in both uses of the word, film in the rape-revenge genre: Thriller- A Cruel Picture.
16-year old Candy is abducted on her way home from school. The kidnapper's demand is simple, her stepfather just leaves a bag of diamonds from the store he manages in a trash can and the girl will be released. Unfortunately, stepdad has too much to gain from Candy dying in the very near future and is more than willing to make sure it happens. A grimy 70s thriller that has only more recently received its cult status: The Candy Snatchers.

Don't say the name Madman Marz in these woods or he will respond. On the last night of camp, a playful night around the campfire turns into a bloody struggle for survival. Will the campers live to be picked up by their parents? Will the councilors be able to have their final hot tub canoodle without having to hose out the blood? Will that song ever leave my head? Madman.
A group from an all-girls Catholic college go to catalog the collection of their late benefactor, Tyler Welles. After finding the diary of a young woman who died in the house decades earlier, they decide to hold a seance. Soon supernatural and much more Earthly horrors begin to befall the girls one by one. Will any of them live to see the auction they are working diligently towards? Will their nun chaperone recover from her headache or are their devilish shenanigans keeping her down? Just how hard am I supposed to squint to see the resemblance to that painting? Possibly the tamest release to ever land in Tromaville- Girls School Screamers.
All that and Dave needs a nap, Craig considers dentistry, Tyler revels, and Kevin goes to his happy place far far away. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 406- Salty about Craig's Vinegar

Polyes-tsar

     This week- two movies about magic and women at the end of their ropes.

     An up-and-coming Senator, Nick Rast, is on the fast track pushed by a kingmaker with a beautiful wife in a loveless marriage of convince and a terminally ill son. When a mysterious faith healer, Gregory Wolfe, seems to cure the boy, the powerful interests driving Rast won't allow this good turn to go unpunished. Are Wolfe's powers real? Is it all an elaborate scam? Just how easily manipulated is this senator?? Harlequin.
     Francine Fishpaw watches as her middle-class suburban Baltimore life crumbles. Her husband runs a pornographic theater, her daughter is promiscuous, her son is a glue-sniffing serial foot stomper, and her mother is a cocaine-snorting snob. When Francine demands a divorce, after catching her husband cheating, she falls into a alcoholism and depression. Can Francine recover? Will she find new love, save her children and claw back??? Polyester.
     All that and jealousy over olfactory inputs. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 405- Polyes-tsar

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Laser Pointer

     This week- a pair of films about the most basic human need for connection.

     Naturalist, Hank, lives in Africa with a huge number of big cats. Everyone around him are terrified of Hank's massive cat hoard, which continuously harms everyone that comes into contact with it while Hank laughs uproariously. Hank brings his family over for a visit, neglecting to mention how he is living and leaves them to fend for themselves unaware and unsuspecting. A massive undertaking that took over a decade to make, bankrupted the writer-director-producer-star, and 73 members of the cast and crew to be mauled- Roar.
     Manon leaves her crappy job at a grocery store behind to earn more as an exotic dancer at a club which specialized in high concept performance art routines. There she finds new ways to explore her sexuality and new opportunities to pad her income. Manon immediately begins a friendship with coworker Mia, an aspiring actress, which soon blossoms into something more. Manon must make decisions that could have long lasting and far reaching consequences for her new erotic lifestyle and My Sole Desire (original French title: À mon seul désir).
     All that plus Dave is getting senile, Tyler loves to love on loving lovers who love, and Kevin and the 6th badger battalion return from a glorious victory. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 404- We're Gonna Need a Bigger Laser Pointer

A Pair of Genes

     This week- two films starring the brilliant Gene Hackman. 

     Harry Moseby, a former football player turned private investigator, is hired to find a runaway sixteen-year-old. A search that will drag him into a conspiracy and coverup. The fourth genre redefining feature in a row from director Arthur Penn, Night Moves.
     A seasoned nuclear submarine commander and his new executive office clash over how to interpret their orders and at what point does on make a decision that could have grave consequences on massive scales. A pair of masterful performances from the best of their respective generation, Crimson Tide.

     All that and Kevin commissions a new battalion, Tyler celebrates in the way he is most accustomed, Dave has shallow thoughts, and Craig is already reaping what he has sown. Join us. won't you?
   Episode 403- A Pair of Genes

Brazilian or Heirless

     This week- a pair of films about women defying social expectations.
     Leaving her upper-middle class adoptive parents and normative school life behind, Raquel runs away to become a sex worker in São Paulo. Soon she works her way up the ranks, begins writing a blog (with client ratings), and becomes so popular that she begins making guest appearances on mainstream talk shows. Inspired by The Scorpion's Sweet Venom, the first autobiographical book by Bruna Surfistinha, Confessions of a Brazilian Call Girl.
     Shy young Christina lives with her father, who has always been openly disappointed in her for not being as charming and social as her late mother, and her aunt. At a ball, Christina meets a charming, handsome, and very poor young man named Morris. Morris pursues Christina, encouraged by her aunt and highly suspected by her father. When her father draws a hardline against her socializing with Morris, Christina must make a choice- to be disinherited over a who might be only after due to that inheritance or remove all connection to the only person to show her any kindness and care at the demands of her cold and controlling parent. Added to the Library of Congress National Film Registry in 1996, William Wyler's The Heiress.
     All that and we try a new recording platform. Join us, and let us know how it sounds, won't you

   Episode 402- Brazilian or Heirless

Threat Level: Breen

     This week- Craig and Dave chose violence.

     Identical twin brothers, Cale and Cade, are abducted and turned into something more than human by an entity. They are sent out to fight what the entity claims is "evil" and for some reason that means working very closely with a US black ops organization. Unfortunately, Cale is seen as defective and eventually released from his captivity... only to find his own ways of combating "evil". Has Cale gone too far? Will Cade ever question any of what he has been told his whole life? A brotherly epic by auteur Neil Breen- Twisted Pair.
     Years have passed since the, uh... events?... sure, events of Twisted Pair and the twins have not been in contact. Cade donated a large sum of money to fix a psychiatric hospital. Unknown to him, the should be condemned hospital is just a front for insane human experiments in the back room and government sanctioned human trafficking in the basement. Will Cade save these poor, unfortunate souls? Why is Cale creeping around the staff staircase?  Could they really not find an actual room to film in? The latest film from cult filmmaker, in the very loosest sense, Neil Breen- Cade: The Tortured Crossing.
     All that and Kevin has a nap, Tyler goes to his happy place, Dave finds himself full of regret, and Craig laughs manically clutching a globe. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 401- Threat Level: Breen

400 (Unsimulated) Blows

     This week- we celebrate our 400th episode with a four pack of films, each tailored to our individual tastes. Apparently, we all like crime. A lot.

     When Drew returns home after a long time away, this adoptive sister lover concocts a plan to escape with the addict of his eye. Even if it means murdering their adoptive father. Unfortunately, Papa isn't as slow as everyone else and makes plans of his own. An early film from John Swab, a favorite filmmaker of Tyler's, about existential criminal crisis in the Bible Belt- Let Me Make You a Martyr.
     Cerebral and coolheaded Detective Somerset is looking forward to retiring at the end of the week. His replacement, young and brash Detective Mills, arrives just in time for a little touch passing and training. Unfortunately for them both, this all happens just as a serial killer with a religiously inspire masterplan announces his arrival in sadistic fashion. Both a number close to Kevin's heart and widely considered on of director David Fincher's best films- Seven.
     In 1964, Johnny Bartlett was executed for killing 12 people at the local hospital. In 1990 Frank Bannister's wife died under mysterious circumstances with the number "13" craved into her forehead. The trauma leaves Frank with the ability to communicate with ghosts. Now Frank leads a pack of spirited haunters and is about to learn that Bartlett's rampage might not be as far in the past as everyone assumes it it. An uneven goofy romp with deeply disturbing meta undertones, just like Dave, and the first major effects project helmed by Peter Jackson- The Frighteners.
     Gal and his wife have long since left their seedy London criminal origins for a nice quiet life in Spain. When they get the news that an old psychotic associate, Don, will soon be arriving with a job offer. Unwilling to take no for an answer and with a violent temper that knows little restraint, Gal just might find himself back with the gang for one more heist. The first feature from Craig's favorite director and costarring a fistful of his favorite actors- Sexy Beast.
     All that and a twist ending that leaves three of the Raiders devastated. Join us, won't you?
  Episode 400- 400 (Unsimulated) Blows