Low Stakes Horror

     This week- a classic gothic horror from England and a, uh, different type of classic for a very dedicated type of audience.
     In 1885, self proclaimed librarian Jonathan Harker arrives take charge of some books at a lonely castle. Mr. Harker didn't tell anyone that his real job is vampire hunter and the noble whose books he used as cover is named Dracula. Things don't work out as planned and soon Dr. Van Helsing goes to find Harker while Dracula goes to find Harker's friends in England. Hammer's first entry in it's take on Bram Stoker's fangy fiend, Dracula (aka Horror of Dracula).
     In 1995, a shlub whose barely holding on to his job taking family portraits finds himself being called to be a hero. When he and five others are trapped inside a building by a mischievous spirit from the distant past. Will our shutterbug step up or will the sun rise on the building only inhabited by the dead? The middle entry in Donald G Jackson's puppet trilogy starring Joe Estevez and Conrad Brooks, Baby Ghost.
     All that and... three of us fall into unrelenting cinematic despair while Craig cackles from his hidden fortress's throne room. Join us, won't you?

    Episode 357- Low Stakes Horror

Rented by the Hour

     This week- a pair of films adapted from the stage.

     1931, Berlin, while finishing his doctorate a British academic, Brian Roberts, takes residence in a boarding house. Finding his room is too small to teach English lessons, which he must to survive, Brian strikes up a friendship with his neighbor, Sally Bowles, a performer at the Kit Kat Klub. Soon Brian finds himself caught up in her bohemian lifestyle. One of the first films to be rated X with fiendishly catchy songs, strong performances, plenty of thought-provoking subtly under the bawdy exterior, and possibly Bob Fosse's most enduring and still relevant work- Cabaret.
     Liz is a street prostitute who is weary of her life and desperate to escape her pimp. As she wonders the late night streets of LA, Liz directly tells the audience of her history, from her youth to the current moment, and why she keeps going. Based on a monologue play, one of the first to be given a NC-17 rating in the US, anchored by a strong lead performance and strong visuals. Ken Russell's satirical drama tries to bring pathos and humanity to the world's oldest profession, Whore.
     All that and Dave finds his memory slipping, Craig discovers pain in the ring, Kevin gets classy again, and Tyler plots to ensure there are no flawless victories. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 356- Rented by the Hour

Neeps & Tatties

     This week- a pair of films that ask "when is justice served and what is permissible when it isn't?"

     Shady businessman Daniel Emerson has his partners, and lifelong lackeys. give him an alibi during his trial for raping pianist Gaily Morton which result in his acquittal. Horrified and overwhelmed by the verdict, Gaily takes her own life. Before long each of the false witnesses have fateful encounters with gorgeous women that end in murder and a former courtroom artist tries to figure out just who is behind this revenge of Steel and Lace.
     In the late 1970s, a notoriously vicious loan shark enforcer with a history of roughing up debtor's families, Nickie Dryden, is arrested by Detective Keltie. Twenty years later, Nickie is out of prison, has published a successful memoir, is happily married to a journalist, and has become the Scottish art world's most popular sculptor. The night of Nickie's newest exhibit, Detective Keltie steps forward to remind the audience just who Nickie was and what he has done. Soon the two men find themselves in an escalating conflict where one wants to believe he has changed and the other wants to ensure the sins are never settled from his time as The Debt Collector.
     All that and Dave denies his short term memory issues, Tyler makes the hard choice, Craig keeps someone locked out, and Kevin might be snoring oh so lightly in the background. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 355- Neeps & Tatties

Donner Party

     This week we talk about four films from a master of mayhem who spent two decades setting the bar across multiple genres.

     When his biological child dies immediately after birth, diplomat Robert Thorne is persuaded to secretly adopt a child whose mother died giving birth. Keeping the switch a secret from all, even his wife, the Thornes spends five idyllic years together. When Robert is promoted and sent to England, strange event begin to pile up which eventually lead to one terrifying conclusion... A horror classic with a powerhouse cast, The Omen.
     The lone survivor of catastrophic end of Krypton is sent hurtling through the stars to a still developing backwater world filled with potential.  Taken in by a farming couple in Kansas, the survivor discovers incredible powers as he grows up. Tasked with guiding the planet to their best destiny by his biological parents, raised with empathy and strong morals to guide by his adopted parents, the refugee introduces himself to the world. The film that made the world believe a man could fly, Superman.
     Martin Riggs has dropped his crazy act to embrace just being a cruel piece of shit. Roger Murtaugh has been too old for this shit so long that he has made his daughter scared to be open about her life. When they stumble on a human trafficking ring, smuggling people from China to LA, they once again find their lives in about average for them danger. The final entry in a beloved action franchise, Lethal Weapon 4.
     An archeological expedition in France find the glasses of its missing leader in an underground room that hasn't been opened in over six hundred years. Three of the young researchers and the head archeologist's brain damaged son soon find themselves being hurtled through time in a desperate rescue mission. Based on the novel by genre master Michael Crichton that was either cut too heavily or not heavily enough, depending on who you ask, Timeline.
     All that and Dave raises a large monkey, Tyler tries bouncing in the Keys, Kevin remembers his tragic MMA past, and Craig has intestinal issues. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 354- Donner Party

Lurid Courtship

     This week- a pair of films with unexpectedly exciting visits to boring people's vacation homes.

     When Mia first sees Frida it is love at first sight. Tragically, that won't be an easy revelation as both of them are in long term monogamous relationships and their parents are engaged to each other. When they are the first to arrive at a family weekend, long silent stares give way to indiscretion. Can these women return to their daily lives or have they ignited the flames of undying cyberstalking passion in their hearts? What pain and joy can come With Every Heartbeat (aka Kiss Me, original title Kyss mig).
     Mickey King writes trashy thrillers, often under equally pervy pseudonyms. When a rich anonymous fan offers him a lot of money to ghostwrite an autobiography, Mickey finds himself neck deep in trouble. With a new corpse around every corner and an assassin with a penchant for costumes on his heels, can Mickey discover the truth or will his life end like one of his novels? Mike Hodges second feature film, Pulp.
     All that and Kevin leads a group of plucky squirrels in tense war against a vicious gang of girl guides. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 353- Lurid Courtship

(Acid) Bath & Beyond

     This week- English people get up to some not nice things.

     A jogger collapses and wakes up an amputee. An Eastern European totalitarian murders his way up the ranks. Finally, the worst cop in London teams with the angriest young pathologist to stop a brutal killer targeting young women. An absurd exercise in science fiction with support from three of horror's favorite sons, Scream and Scream Again.
     Miriam and her husband take a long trip to visit her sister, Greta, and brother-in-law, Dylan. Sometime in the future, Miriam and Greta's relationship is strained to near breaking while they set up for Dylan's family reunion. Sometime between these scenes, a brutal act of betrayal and an equally brutal act of vengeance. In the end, Miriam makes ice cream. Writer-directors Madeleine Sims-Fewer and Dusty Mancinelli's vicious rape-revenge film anchored by powerful lead performances, Violation. 
     All that and Dave objects, Craig makes recommendations, and Tyler is blissfully unaware of his impending doom at the cute paws of a squirrel army. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 352- (Acid) Bath & Beyond

S'all About the Bass

     This week an expedition through the ant infested desert of Kenya, Arizona and a tour through the crime ridden streets of Baltimore, Quebec. 

     In the aftermath of a strange cosmic event, ants begin acting strangely and rapidly changing. A pair of scientists and a 16-year old girl investigate this phenomena. The only feature directed by a legendary graphic artist and an absolute spectacle of macrophotography, Phase IV.

     On New Years Eve, a sniper begins to shoot random targets. After making an impression at the crime scene, Patrol Officer Falco is assigned to a special taskforce led by FBI Special Agent Lammark. Together they launch a desperate search for the killer before he can strike again. The first English-language feature from Argentinian writer-director Damián Szifron, To Catch a Killer.
     All that and Craig mourns his abandoned partner Mr Beepy, Tyler has dreams of skateboarders in Texas, Dave isn't sure if he still likes to watch, and Kevin plots his terrible revenge with an army of squirrels. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 351- S'all About the Bass

Spartan Green

     This week- a pair of detectives trying to solve puzzling murders in less than friendly environments.

     While the long range V-1 missiles rain down and an English woman spews Nazi propaganda over the radio, a man dies under mysterious circumstances during a routine operation. While suspicions among the staff spread like wildfire, it is seen as just an accident... until a second body turns up murdered. Based Christianna Brand's book of the same name and the only film adaption featuring her acerbic detective, Green for Danger.
     A wealthy industrialist moves to Sparta, Mississippi to oversee the building of a factory and is soon found dead in an alley. Grabbing the first stranger they see, an African-American man with a fat wallet alone in the train station and immediately try to frame him neatly. The racist officers of Sparta soon learn that the suspect they blindly grabbed isn't just a cop himself but a detective from Philadelphia with the skills they desperately need. Based on the novel by John Ball and starting a film franchise and long running television series with two powerful central performances, In the Heat of the Night.
     All that and Dave gets stapled, Kevin digs up some classics, Tyler puts lotion in a basket, and Craig reveals he was hiding under the porch this whole time. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 350- Spartan Green

All Killa No Filla

     This week a super special guest and we keep our free flowing vulgarity to a minimum... try to anyway. Sorta.

     A chance encounter leads a high school girl to an abandoned part of town, where she discovers a strange door in the middle of the remains of a spa. Next thing she knows, supernatural cats are running away from possessed chairs and a giant worm threatens everything. Makoto Shinkai's latest film about connection, loneliness, and mourning the lost places... Suzume (original title- Suzume no Tojimari, literal- Suzume's Locking Up).
    Prior to the founding of Seabrook, those seeking to settle there fought off Werewolves for control of  a powerful mystical stone. The same stone that would be the strange source of energy for Seabrook Power that brought about Zombies. Now, after zombies have finally gotten a measure of equality, the powers that be decide to demolish Seabrook Power, the heart of Zombie culture, and Werewolves return to town seeking what was stolen from them. In the panic that follows, anti-monster laws are re-established. Can cheerleader Addison earn the place of captain as her bigot pandering cousin aims for higher office? Can Zed finally go to Prawn? Will Seabrook finally learn the lessons from the first film and welcome the Werewolves with open arms of equality, love, and kinship? Can the Werewolves do it like the... Zombies 2.
     16 years after adventurer archeologist Lord Richard Croft disappeared, his daughter Lara has taken up the legacy and is without question the best in the world. Elsewhere, Manfred Powell and the Illuminati are desperately searching for a key to unite two halves of a mystical artifact before a once every 5000 year celestial alignment occurs. If you had any doubt, the key is definitely in the missing father's possessions and Lara will be immediately drawn into the shadowy shenanigans as soon as she finds it. Will Lara save the world? Obviously. Will baby Bond ever learn how to do a decent American accent? No, it's been 23 years and he is still terrible at it. Will there ever be a truly great adventure game adaptation?  Based on the ridiculously popular and long running video game series- Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.
     In the thousand years since the Institute of Elite Knights began protecting the kingdom, following the teachings of the legendary hero Glorith, there has never been a commoner brought into the knighthood. All of that is about to change with Ballister Boldheart being the shining hope for the future... or he would be if he wasn't the fall guy in a plot to maintain the status quo by murdering the queen. Instead Ballister loses an arm and finds himself on the run with no one to turn to and no way to clear his name. Enter a mischievous shapeshifter who has faced persecution for her powers and knows all too well the pain of being rejected by everything and everyone. Declaring herself his sidekick, the duo set off to find the truth and maybe cause a little trouble for the powers that be along the way. A current Oscar contender that started production at Fox with their animation powerhouse Blue Sky, continuing for a couple years under Disney's hesitant eye, and finally being finished by Annapurna as their first animated feature. Based on the webcomic and graphic novel by ND Stevenson- Nimona.
     All that and did I mention that there's a super special guest this week? Join us, won't you?
   Episode 349- All Killa No Filla

Pour Some Sugarbowl on Me

     This week- two movies about men given a second chance to relive their dreams.

     When a professional football players strike happens with only four games left in the regular season, the Washington Sentinels call in maverick coach, Jimmy McGinty, and give him free reign to assemble a motley crew of might have-beens and never-weres. Leading the pack is former college All-American, Shane Falco, who lives on a boat that just happens to be floating in the, at the time not yet gentrified, National Harbor. A cult comedy classic with a cast that is more than equal the task, The Replacements.
     Jessica Shepard is a hard drinking, tough as nails inspector for SFPD's homicide division with a tragic backstory. When the body of someone she had a one night stand with is found along the shore, it's curious but not enough for another investigator to take over. By the time the third is found its downright troubling. A heavily James Patterson-inspired women in trouble thriller, a staple genre of the 1990s and early 2000s, and one of the most commercial works from director Philip Kaufman, Twisted.
     All that and Dave does nothing alone in his cardboard box, Tyler realizes that he's run out of canvas below the neck, and Kevin likes to watch from a tree. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 348- Pour Some Sugarbowl on Me

High as a Comet

     This week- two films about mind altering events.

     Bob leads a crew that rods pharmacies in 1971. After a successful job, a local cop picks up after them without any sign of letting up and forces the gang to hit the road for a tour across the Pacific Northwest. Before long, Bob will have to face the worst hex of all and a few difficult life choices. The second feature from Gus Van Sant, Drugstore Cowboy.
     High School students Taki and Mitsuha switch bodies. Without any known reason or connection. Immediately they begin to cause massive chaos on each other's lives. Shinkai Makoto's Western breakthrough feature and the third highest grossing Japanese film of all time, Your Name.
     All that and a tiny titan plots from the shadows. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 347- High as a Comet

Reptile Riff

     This week- two movies about women without a good work-life balance.

     Angel dreams of fostering a child despite being a danger to herself and others. Simmering rage filled Jo wants to get rid of her recent life complication. Jasmine wants to write poetry but instead fall for an obvious turd of a Nice Guy. Stormy spends her whole time stalking and reminiscing about the partner she definitely shouldn't have started with in the first place. Jesse isn't even barely legal yet. There's also a Russian hitman loitering outside. An improvisational drama about Dancing at the Blue Iguana.
     Vince Lombardi High School just can not keep principles. As yet another collapses in a nervous breakdown, dedicated if terrifyingly extreme Evelyn Togar steps in to crack down on the student body's rebelliousness. Meanwhile, star student Kate Rambeau is desperate to get the attention of quarterback Tom Roberts, Tom is desperate to molest Kate's best friend Riff Randell, Riff only has eyes and a song for Joey Ramone. Who will stand up to Togar? Will Kate and Tom get a touchdown in the back of a wizard van? Will Riff hear her heroes sing, Rock and Roll High School? Can Joey ever have a slice of pizza???
     All that and Kevin shows off his time management skills, Tyler tries an off brand Stuart Gordon, and Dave sits in judgement of the French legal system. Join us, won't we?
   Episode 346- Reptile Riff

Takashi's Castle

     This week Japanuary comes to a close with three films by the prolific master Takashi Miike.

     Leo is a boxer climbing in the middle of a great win streak. When his doctor tells him he has an inoperable brain tumor and only a short time left. Kase, an ambitious yakuza, and Ōtomo, a corrupt cop, plan to steal drugs and frame Yuri, a trafficked young woman. When Leo hears Yuri call for help, he figures he has nothing to lose and intervenes. Things spiral from there. A thrill ride through alleys and sporting good store massacres, First Love.
     Manji, an ageless immortal drifting through under a traumatic loss, is hired to be the bodyguard for Rin, an orphan on a quest for revenge. Rin's father was murdered by the Itto-ryu, a group of samurai assassins seeking to bring all schools of combat together under them, and their leader Kagehisa Anotsu. This live action adaption of a successful manga and anime series is also Miike's 100th directorial effort, Blade of the Immortal.
     It has been a decade since Iwao sacrificed his eldest son to settle a dispute with a rival gang. Now younger son, Riki, is getting revenge. Riki also happens to be the head of a gang of startlingly young assassins, who have the leaders of his father's gang squarely in their sights.  Buckets of blood flow, killer darts are fired from undergarments, preteen gunmen, games with unusual balls, and a biker who like a good scrap- Fudoh: The New Generation. 
     Join us, won't we?
   Episode 345- Takashi's Castle

Hospitable Tentacle

     This week- two films about tentacled fiends who might also be friends.

     When the moon is blown into a permeant crescent and the monster that claims credit is threatening to do the same to Earth in one year's time... unless the underachieving delinquent misfits of Middle School Class 3-E are able to assassinate it before then. In order to nurture their killer instinct, the multi-limbed monstrosity places itself as their teacher. Will the kids rise to the challenge or will they fail in their duty and doom the whole planet? The live action adaption of a wildly popular manga and anime, Assassination Classroom.
     A cheap Airbnb in Tokyo doesn't keep guests for very long. Every night the same horrific events play out to deadly results. Will anyone survive a night at this dump? Can the fleshy nightmare stalking its rooms be stopped? How has no one noticed like 50 people disappearing after booking this one room? The second feature from director Doug Roos and an impressive exercise practical effects, Bakemono.
     All that and Dave feels ultimate despair, Tyler tries to bring his Sheri Moon tattoos to life, and Kevin plots against the others for steadfastly refusing to record on his days off. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 344- Hospitable Tentacle

Fetish Zoomie Doll

     This week- a pair of films where men nearly bring ruin to their closest female family member by not checking in during extended work trips.

     While Saeko's husband is out of the country for work, she immediately starts a torrid affair with the piano tuner who also lives in her apartment complex. Meanwhile, their complex is being stalked by a serial murdering rapist who burns his victims to death. The second entry in Nikkatsu's violent pinku series Zoom Up opts for a more surreal giallo approach, Zoom In: Rape Apartments (aka ZOOM IN: Sex Apartments).
     Kazuhiko takes the long trip to his girlfriend's isolated home immediately after returning from a six-month work trip abroad. When he fails to call his sister over the next eight days, she and her fiancé trace his steps to uncover a horrifying history and its tragic consequences. The first in Toho's Bloodthirsty Trilogy of vampire films, The Vampire Doll (aka Legacy of Dracula).
     All that and Kevin's gonna need a bigger media room, Dave keeps losing the thread, and Tyler finally realizes he's been tricked into getting Nightbeast as a full back piece. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 343- Fetish Zoomie Doll

Bay of Witches

     This week Japanuary 2024 kicks off with a pair of films about bold, strong women who refuse to compromise to their oppressive societies and the idiots they love.

     Kinta is put in charge of his Yakuza gang's pig farm and dreams of the large paydays that were vaguely promised. Haruko, his girlfriend, works as a waitress and dreams of getting away from their port city that only lives on the whim of the nearby American Navy base. When Kinta's bosses push him to be the fall guy in a murder and Haruko' mother pushes her to be the paid mistress of an American business man. Shōhei Imamura's breakthrough work and a masterpiece of the Japanese New Wave, Pigs and Battleships.
     On Jeanne's wedding night, the local baron and his courtiers brutally violate her in a ritual deflowering. That night she begins to see visions of a phallic spirit that offers her power and her fortunes rise until they lead to ever increasing clashes between Jeanna and the ruling class. Mushi Production's final entry in their Animerama series of adult animations with gorgeous watercolors designed by Kuni Fukai, Belladonna of Sadness.
     All that and Dave sings a jaunty tune, Kevin closes the books on last year, and Tyler unfurls his hoard of Japanese erotic cinema. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 342- Bay of Witches