Saturday, May 30, 2020

Masochist May- Hard Swiss Crime Tapes

     Masochist May finally lets Tyler out of the strappado after a quadruple dose of suggestions designed to bring pain to some and pleasure to others.
     A serial killer leaves a box of video tapes in the house he used to rent. A mockumentary of legendary reputation from days when IMDb had message boards and social media consisted on top 8 spaces- The Poughkeepsie Tapes.
     Mexican exploitation legend with a predilection toward animal suffering, RenĂ© Cardona Jr, bring his version of the Jonestown mass murder and suicide. Released less than a year after the actual events and stuffed with familiar faces, don't mistake that for a mark of quality in Guyana: Crime of the Century aka Cult of the Damned.
     The self proclaimed "M. Night of my times" takes 20 minutes from his previous feature and spins it out into either genius OR suffering. Depending on who you ask. Nazis and Pedophiles and the town from Footloose and Hard Rock Zombies. Oh my.
     Finally a man about to end it all makes friends with a very special corpse. High jinks ensue. Swiss Army Man

     All that and Dave learns all there is to know about talking puppies, Tyler paddles against the stream, Anna gets lost in a dark wood full of coyote, and Craig does an amazing impression for the whole run. Join us, won't you?
Episode 155- Masochist May: Hard Swiss Crime Tapes



Saturday, May 23, 2020

Cults, Cuts, and a Singer Gone Nuts (Revisited)

     Due to technical issues, this weeks episode has been lost to the ether and is unrecoverable. To sum it up- ThanksKilling 3- hurt everyone except Craig, who has promised to get his brain scanned just in case it's a sign of some deeper issue. X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes- a great film in the Corman catalog that everyone should check out sometime. Just don't be too sad that the King ending isn't real. It got Anna's endorsement for the best film of the week. Dora and the Lost City of Gold- A nice joyful surprise for everyone. The cast is good, Isabela Merced is a joy, the jokes mostly land. A rare film that is appealing to all and far better than it has any right to be. It won the week by swiping Dave, Tyler, and Craig's votes.
     Until next week's four pack of super pain caps off Masochist May, enjoy this episode from the long long ago where we look at The Manson Family, The Skin I Live In, and Phantom of the Paradise. Join us, again, won't you?

Episode 62- Cults, Cuts, and a Singer Gone Nuts (Revisited)



Saturday, May 16, 2020

Masochist May: Melinda's House of Whampires

     Masochist May rolls us under with special guest Stone Rockhouse bringing a personal touch to the pain.
     Another day, another experiment with 2-4-5 Trioxin. The military has the difficult choice between putting the dead in cheap mech exoskeletons or developing a slowly firing, long reloading freeze gun. When Julie and Curt have a little one vehicle accident, Curt decides to dose Julie with the gas before even taking her to a hospital. Director Brian Yuzna drops the earlier gags for a fairly fatalistic Shakespearean tale of Zombie love with Return of the Living Dead 3
     Christina lives in a house next to a creek. People near the house keep dying. Good thing she lives in a town where every guy is trying hard to channel their inner creepy crazy bastard. I mean... all of them. Why would anyone live anywhere near Christina's House.
      It's the not too distant future and mankind is living with a plague. This one happens to turn those infected into sorta vampires with reality ending skills and transdimensional pockets. Is Kurt Wimmer a genious or just very very good at back alley handies? I guess we find out with Ultraviolet.
     All that and Dave sees nothing, Tyler loves all, Stone remembers like a Pepridge Farm ad, and Kevin gets all wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Join us, won't you?

Episode 154- Melinda's House of Whampires


Saturday, May 9, 2020

Masochist May: The Vicious Ziplock Jog

     Masochist May subjugates it's second week with a triple feature of unusual length.
     A chubby misogynist killer and an attractive misandrist killer get a room together and romance blossoms. That is not the beginning of a joke. I wish it was, instead it's just not very... Brutal.
     One of the widely acknowledged masterpieces for the art, by one of the most important and influential filmmakers, is a culturally shifted adaption of Shakespeare's haunting vision of collapse. Ran.
     Showtime's answer to a certain HBO anthology series. Three stories, packed with faces you know and probably at least like a little, told by John Carpenter, doing his muggy pun spewing Kevin impression, is one of the most 90s things ever. Don't ask questions, just stuff it in those Body Bags.
     All that and Dave loves Netflix's She-Ra more than he should publicly admit, Tyler regrets having to put his plan on hold, and Kevin gets classy as hell over a 2000s TV movie. Join us, won't you?





Saturday, May 2, 2020

Masochist May: Killjoy Was Here



     Masochist May kicks off with a suggestion that made some cry and others abandon all shreds of hope left to them.
     When his car runs off the road author Paul Sheldon is taken in by his number one fan. She only has one small request for her help.... Misery.
     It's dark. Vin keeps telling us he's an anti-hero. The whole flick might really be an anti-evolution work. Who can really tell in the Pitch Black.
     The first of many listener choices this month... An evil clown, voodoo, there's an ice cream truck. Killjoy? Yes, yes, it did.
     And Tyler is forgotten, Dave is too old for drinking games, Craig's will is broken, and Kevin only makes six Dad Jokes. Join us, won't you?

Episode 152- Masochist May: Killjoy Was Here



Saturday, April 25, 2020

Dark Horses

     To close out April we get our comic adaption on. Due to an extreme case of Viral Edgy we forgo the usual DC and Marvel route.
     The 90s never looked so... uh... 90s. Mega cult UK series 2000 AD's signature character hit the big screen with a whimper, a star who still to this day does not understand the property, and with such stink that it would ruin the 2012 good version years before it was even a thought bubble... the almost beautifully camp- Judge Dredd. I know you knew I was gonna say that.
     One of the most influential science fiction films of all time, a heady mix of social commentary on the consequence of technological advancement wrapped in themes of the nature of consciousness, the meaning of identity, and the imperative of leave some imprint of yourself on the future. A brain spinning, action heavy, cyberpunk noir- Ghost in the Shell.
     How much Spider-Man would Todd McFarlane draw if Todd McFarlane could draw Spider-Man again? All of it forever. But since he can't we got our third 90s comic book adaption this week. The world's greatest black ops assassin is betrayed by future President Josiah Bartlet, goes directly to Hell where he is recruited to lead Scooby-Doo's Army of the Damned, spat back to Earth for reasons that I  guess make as much sense as the Clown has for leaving him alone so much... anyway, it's Spawn.
     Last and most likely least- Frank Miller proves that you can never be TOO incompetent to totally butcher a classic work of staggering genius by urinating on the grave of Will Eisner and in the eye of Robert Rodriguez with The Spirit.
     All that and Craig suffers properly, Dave loses all hope, Tyler rolls in it, and Kevin winds up with bricks of cocoa. Join us, won't you?

Episode 151- Dark Horses

Saturday, April 18, 2020

Foot Fetish (Or Get the Bruce Out)

     Anna returns with a vengeance of mighty musical fists against a bossly defense and the madness it awakens.
     A group of best friend forever orphans take down a drug ring. All while being very much anti-ninja, rocking out, teaching the true path of Taekwondo, and getting their beach based romance on. Can their friendship sever the Miami Connection?
     What do you get when you take an abusive hitman, a cult, his buddy's lost love, his wive, and a hunchback? Hint- it is not the next Disney animated classic. Behold the mystery box of Ben Wheatley's Kill List.
     Feel held back by your immigrant parents in 1980s England? Don't worry, salvation can be yours at the low low price of surrendering everything you are and will be at the alter of Springsteen. Javed is a talented young British-Pakistani Muslim who finds his voice in the voice of an American product of corporate greed and complete surrender of self while being Blinded by the Light.
     All that and Anna has a long list, Kevin takes some boudoir shots, Dave suffers greatly at the hands of youth, Craig vows revenge, and Tyler just doesn't get it. Join us, won't you?

Episode 150- Foot Fetish (Or Get the Bruce Out)