Saturday, October 31, 2020

Halloween- Timeline Turmoil

 Drawing October to a close with the final five nights He came home.

After falling down a well last year, Michael Myers finds himself fully recovered and tries to take custody of his traumatized niece. He finds all of the town once again standing against him. Will he finally get The Revenge of Michael Myers?
While trying to bring home a troubled teen, Michael finds himself having to deal with an obsessed Tommy Doyle and a new generation of Strodes. Fortunately, this time he has some help from a druidic cult. Unfortunately, Dr. Loomis is trying his best to bring about The Curse of Michael Myers.
Timeline 2!!!!
Laurie did not have a daughter and did not die in a car accident in 1980. Instead she faked her death, spent the last 18 years living under an assumed named, and has been teaching English at a rich kids prep school while raising a son. A son who has just turned 17... the same age Laurie was when Michael appeared... the same age Judith was when she met her tragic end. Will Michael finally find the loving relative he has craved or will he have to wait for H20: 20 Years Later again?
Three years after failing to make amends, Michael goes home to try and find comfort as he mourns Laurie, who died in a mental care facility after murdering a poor EMT who tried to help Michael. Unfortunately, Haddonfield refuses to not torment him. Finding his home overrun with college kids competing in a new streaming reality show. No matter how hard you try to run the past is always waiting for Resurrection
Timeline 3!
The Darkest Timeline... the Rob Zombie Timeline!!!!! If you want to hear out thoughts you will have to go all the way back to 2017 and listen to episode 23, Popstars Go to Haddonfield.
Timeline 4- Current until inevitable 2025 reboot!
40 years after meeting Michael Myers, Laurie Strode has been planning and preparing. Tragically, her innate survival instinct has been a wedge between her and her family. Fortunately, she was right to listen to herself as 62-year old Michael has escaped from his incarceration and is roaming the streets of Haddonfield... in obvious need of assistance because dude keeps walking into the wrong homes and has no idea where or who he is. Let's Halloween (2018) again.

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Halloween: 3 Hard Mikes and A Drunk Doctor

     October Horror gathers speed as we crash through the first four films in the Halloween franchise!

    After fifteen years in an asylum, Michael Myers decides its time to take a small walk around his hometown and take in the decorations on Halloween.
    Michael walks to the local hospital, after wounds received earlier that evening, and doesn't receive anything resembling quality care in Halloween II.
    A doctor with a drinking problem and sexual addiction has a breakdown and imagines a ridiculous conspiracy involving the better masks his ex bought for the children he emotionally abuses due to his never ending midlife crisis... or not. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.
    Finally Mike wakes up from a decade long coma inflicted on him by an obsessed doctor in his last appearance. He decides to go home and try to forge a relationship with his only remaining living relative. Unfortunately, the niece's adoptive sister decides she can't share her with anyone in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
    All that and the existential dread the rest of the series conjures gnaws away at the crew. Join us, won't you?

Episode 178- Halloween: 3 Hard Mikes and A Drunk Doctor

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Taste the Rainbow

      October Horror continues as we are joined by Christianne Benedict to take a look at four LGBTQIA+ themed films.

    Paris in the summer of 1979. Anne, a director of gay pornographic films, is left by her editor and girlfriend, Lois. While Anne struggles with this, her actors begin being murdered by a mysterious leather clad person with a grudge. Will Anne finish her magnum opus, Homocide, before she stands alone? Will she and Lois find closure? What is the deal with the mystical bird? There might be answers in Knife + Heart.
    Brad and Janet, a pair of young loving lovers who love, are so excited for their engagement they decide they have to visit the professor whose class they first met during. A minor bit of bad luck, during a torrential storm, brings them to the castle of Dr. Frank-N-Furter. This night will be one of tests and awakenings as the vanilla couple are shown such sights. All with some really upbeat music and one of film's most charismatic performances ever. Are you trembling with anticip................ation for The Rocky Horror Picture Show?
    Just a little movie about Jack & Diane, two American kids doing the best that they can. Okay, part of that is a lie. A movie about the least realistic young lesbian relationship ever put to film. It's a strong claim but I still don't get why they are a thing. Also features some burgeoning young desire as lycanthropy thing crammed in. You know, it's just a bad movie. Seriously, why did anyone give these people money? Listen to us eviscerate it because that's all it's good for. Or maybe it's a modern classic? Probably not.
    Gunnar and Einar's relationship is over. One has moved on and the other has secluded himself in a cabin out in the middle of Iceland's beautiful but cold pastures. A drunken phone call brings them back together to deal with the ghosts of their past inside and the ghosts haunting the lava fields outside. Can closure be found? Is the emotional momentum of a relationship worth the toll when it's ripped away? Can anything put the ghosts of your past to rest? Is there any way to heal a Rift (Rökkur)?

Episode 175- Taste the Rainbow

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Hungry Captive Homicidal Sacrificed Vampire Women In The Celluloid Jungle

     OCTOBER HORROR WEEK 2! This week we celebrate women directors in the genre with a five pack of scary flicks.

    The 1980s, trendy restaurants, shallow associates, the stress of keeping up appearances, and over the top murder. Life is difficult for Mary Harron's spree killing investment banker and all around American Psycho.
    A coward sent to a post in exile will soon learn of new dietary regimen that grants remarkable powers and incredible health benefits but comes with a heavy price. The inhabitants of Antonia Bird's fort aren't just peckish but totally Ravenous.
    A serial killing taxi driver takes in a new pet. As the years pass he decides to mold the child into being his protégée. Will Rabbit follow this dark path or will he find salvation from Jennifer Lynch's Chained nightmares?
    Unfairly maligned on release but recently receiving a complete reassessment, Karyn Kusama's dark comedy in finding a very receptive cult. Taking initiative at a gig in a small town, a mediocre band sacrifices Needy's best friend to the legions of Hell. Things take a turn when she reappears with a craving for male classmates. What is Needy to do with Jennifer's Body?
    One of the best vampire films ever made. Caleb discovers the night life when his too aggressive flirting gets him a small neck wound. Taken by a group of nomadic killers, with his father and younger sister on their trail, and forced to choose between love and eternal night or a worse fate. Kathryn Bigelow shows us what happens Near Dark
    All that and Kevin schemes, Tyler gets hyped, Dave has senile lapses, and Anna finally uncovers the true mystery hiding in this idyllic town. Join us, won't you?

Episode 174- Hungry Captive Homicidal Sacrificed Vampire Women In The Celluloid Jungle

Saturday, October 3, 2020

Second Time Around

     We kick off October with a four pack of sequels.
    After surviving a night of demon attacking in the possessed bodies of his friends at a lonely cabin in the woods, Ash Williams emerges, triumphant, out into the light of day. Tragically, for him anyway, that's just the first 7 minutes of the first sequel in a franchise that will still be going, in various media, for the next 40 year. Can Ash hold off Evil Dead 2 or will he be dead by dawn?
    What happens when you like puns, have Google to quick search references, and think your cat is WAY cuter than she actually is? You make a film series about her misadventures. Duh. Behold a thing that only Kevin and the most cat obsessed corners of the meowiverse could love. Is there no end from the torment brought by A Meowy Halloween?
    Courtney Bates, preteen survivor without a Southern accent, was so traumatized by the events of the first film that she stopped growing vertically, affected an accent, and started the fourth worst band in film. Which seems like a fair enough way to deal with trauma until the band goes for a weekend getaway and Courtney's demons are made flesh. Behold the wonder of The Driller Killer in Slumber Party Massacre II.
    One of the darlings of the 2000s torture porn era, possibly Eli Roth's magnum opus, and nearly a solid indictment of toxic masculinity. When three friends studying art in Italy decide to hop a train to go clubbing in Prague, they find themselves off the beaten path, and in a very deadly manifestation of class warfare. Beautifully filmed and strongly cast, with at least one stand out scene that has forever burned itself in the minds of genre fans, try not to take a nap during Hostel: Part II.
    All that and Craig ponders how long until he and his dogs start merging into a single being, Kevin and Dave face off over a new streaming offering, and Tyler gleefully does his thing with an innocence that you just can't stay mad at... Join us, won't you?

Episode 173- Second Time Around

Saturday, September 26, 2020

T Viral Load

     We bring September to a close with four selections curated by our favorite stair humping deviant. 

     Flashback to 1995, a young Tyler begins to full embrace his inner T at a tender age. What prompts this? His blinding love for a furtive viewing of Larry Clark's Kids. A group of teens don't really do much one day in NYC. By the way, two have HIV and one is plotting on trying to unknowingly spread it. 
     Stay in the decade of sad lumberjack costumed musicians and bare witness to the rise of Leo as an unfilmable memoir does its best to be filmed. A bright young athlete, still in NYC, throws it all away in a vicious and brutal spiral of addiction all told with flourishes of real painful teenage poetry scribbled in The Basketball Diaries.
     Two strong performances anchor the most realistic depiction of a BDSM relationship in a wide release film. Sometimes pain can be healing when applied by the right hand... directly to the buttock of your Secretary.
     Four blanks in the form of college girls, a few robberies, lots of shots of regular people partying, a staggering performance of a very specific parody, endless beautiful shots... is it art? Is it actually saying anything that is worth hearing? Does it matter? Spring Breakers forever!
     All that and Kevin ruminated on the meaning of life, Tyler fights against his inability to continue ignoring the aging process, and Dave gazes into the void that is himself. Join us, won't you?

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Of Lionhearts and Camgirls

      This week a double feature of cult proportions. 

     A camgirl has a breakdown just as she is offered an opportunity from an unknown benefactor. Taking initiative, she jumps right out to California and it all goes down from there. Is it a psychological character study with a detailed and subtle lead performance or a very cheap and boring porn with acting that is embarrassing even for a porn parody? Either way we definitely saw some Portraits of Andrea Palmer.
     A legend of the stage is spurred by snobby critics and tragically takes his own life... or did he? Is this the great thespian risen or is someone else cutting the reviewers down to size? Can you have too make Shakespeare references in one movie? We took our seats in the Theatre of Blood.
     All that and Tyler gets pumped, Anna sees two of the greatest horror movies the way God or Sam Raimi (whichever) intended, Kevin continues to have a flourishing social life, and Dave tries not to digress and fails. Join us, won't you?

Episode 171- Of Lionhearts and Camgirls