Friday, December 24, 2021

Tangentially Xmas

    This week we bring 2021 to a close with a three pack of movies that are firmly winter holiday adjacent. 

     Christmas Eve 1918, a lawyer comes to visit Mrs. Allen and her three children. He brings an amazing offer that will get them out of not their squalid apartment and give them a chance to improve their lives greatly. That is, if they don't mind a few ghosts. Before they can say some cockney rhyming slang two of the kids are off on a time leaping adventure that will change their lives forever. Just don't think of The Amazing Mr. Blunden and his paradoxes.
     After a month as classifieds editor at the Los Angeles Eye and finding that she has been sleeping with the wrong reporter to get a career boost, wannabe reporter Kim takes matters into her own hands and, without editorial sanction, begins to look into a woman's strange death by spontaneous human combustion. At her very first stop, she becomes the target of a coven of lesbian witches. Crammed full of ideas cut from a previous feature, cult hero Brian Yuzna brings a tale that appropriately hates everyone but loves giant cockroaches. Who will survive Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation?
     Three odysseys across LA. Sean Baker's raw and up close ground level view of a distinctive and specific sex-trade subculture. Anchored by three phenomenal central performances and filmed with bleeding edge technique and stuffed with style, Tangerine.
     All that and Kevin get serenaded, Dave wonders if Killer Santa was inside him all alone, and Tyler learns the true meaning of Life Day. Join us, won't you?

Episode 237- Tangentially Xmas


Saturday, December 18, 2021

Evilnauts

     This week a pair of effects heavy movies from the past. 

     Jason returns home to take back what was stolen in his infancy. In order to rally support for this, he decides to head out and steal the Golden Fleece. With some support from the goddess Hera, his crew set out to confront a whole bunch of stop motion monsters brought to life by the brilliant Ray Harryhausen. Will he succeed? Will any of his crew return home? Will they all meet grizzly ends and join the skeleton army? Who dares sail with Jason and the Argonauts?
     The second installment in Paul W.S. Anderson's wildly successful video game adaption series. When Umbrella finds they are unable to contain the infection from overtaking Raccoon City, they pull their assets and begin an operation to remove all evidence. Tragically, Dr. Ashford's daughter was misplaced in the rush. Now Ashford is reaching out to game protagonists Jill Valentine and Carlos Olivera to support film protagonist Alice to save his daughter before nukes rain down and Tyrant rips them all in half. Who will pull themselves out of the wreckage of Resident Evil: Apocalypse?
     All that and Dave burns chrome, Kevin is filled with the Holiday Spirit, and Tyler learns that he bleeds T-virus. 
Join us, won't you?



Saturday, December 11, 2021

Ruthless Charles

     This week- psychopaths hiding in plain sight and a disdain for social morality.

     A young couple kidnap their former boss's wife as revenge for his stealing their work. The boss hoping his wife never comes back. The boss's lover's blackmail attempt doesn't go anything like planned. A serial killer terrorizing a neighborhood. 80s fashion, premium speakers, nightmare inducing masks, home video cameras that weigh over 100lbs, and a gaggle of  Ruthless People.
     Uncle Charlie's visits are always welcome in the Newton home. Young Charlie, his namesake, has always felt a deeper connection to him than anyone else. Unfortunately, Uncle Charlie might possibly be the notorious Merry Widow serial killer. The incompetent men hunting him see fit to burden young Charlie with this knowledge. Is his charm and their connection enough to remove her Shadow of a Doubt?
     All that plus Kevin and Dave both peer into the wild world of Holiday films and Tyler learns he only responds to tank controls. Join us, won't you?

Episode 235- Ruthless Charles



Saturday, December 4, 2021

Rothrock and Roll

      This week- two movies, four women, and multiple trios of bumbling idiots.

     Naama lives in an Israeli suburb with little to do except drugs and casual hook ups. When she meets a new student, they are immediately attracted to each other. Meanwhile, he racist parents are desperately searching for her AWOL sister who might have run off with a nice young Palestinian boy. Blush (aka, the much better title, Barash).
     Two of the best action stars of all time together in the second film directed by Hong Kong legend Corey Yuen and produced by Sammo Hung which started an entire subgenre. Tragically, the draws are pushed aside for some of the worst garbage outputted by the painfully unfunny Luck Stars but when allowed to do what they do best, they rival any other of the period and force you to say... Yes, Madam. 
     All that and the Spencer Mansion collapses on Dave and Tyler's heads while Kevin leaves his noir funk behind for candy colored holiday cheer. Join us, won't you?

Episode 234- Rothrock and Roll



Saturday, November 27, 2021

Dishes Served Cold

     We draw November to a close with four courses of revenge severed at the proper temperatures.

     The first entry in Park Chan-wook's Vengeance Trilogy. Ryu is desperate to get his sister the transplant she needs. Dong-jin is desperate to get his young daughter returned to him safely. When their paths are set on a collision, the bloody trail of bodies doesn't undermine your Sympathy for Mr Vengeance.
     Nick Hume witnesses his eldest son be brutally murdered in a gang initiation. When he learns of the system's offer, he decides to take his own course of payback. Soon Nick is in deeper than he imagined and his remaining family is at risk as the gang's own revenge begins. For every action they all find a Death Sentence.
     Thana, a mute seamstress working in New York's Garment District, is raped at gun point. She survives the attack and stumbles home. Only to find a burglar in her apartment, who decides to rape her a second time. Being constantly under different attacks from the dangerously gendered city, Thana soon starts going out at night to avenge herself on the city's predators. Lessening the subgenre's usual fantasy for a slightly more grounded, though still highly exploitation driven, exploration of the trauma, rage, and fear women experience in the everyday in the world... Ms .45. 
     Three working women are pushed too far by their sexist, bigoted, egomaniacal, hypocrite of a boss. When their flight of fancy accidentally spill into the office, they seize a bold plan to keep their boss in line through mutually assured destruction. They get it all done between 9 to 5.
     All that and Dave used a song from we are lady parts (which you should watch), Tyler dreams in Capcom isometric horror, and after a fall down the stairs Kevin now lives in a noir hellscape.
     Join us, won't you?
Episode 233- Dishes Served Cold


Saturday, November 20, 2021

Stone's Double Crossing

     This week a trio of period pieces sweeping from the 1920s through modern times and ending up in 2509 that might just sum up the depth and breadth of human existence... but probably not.
     Tom Reagan is the right-hand man of a political boss who runs a US city at the height of Prohibition. When the boss extends his protection to a bookie's conniving competitor, Tom soon finds himself playing for the other side as a street war threatens to erupt. His loyalty questioned by his new employer, blackmailed by a third interest, and target number two on his former boss's hit list. Tom may find himself left at Miller's Crossing.
     Five years after learning trust and the value of others, Richard B. Riddick threw that all away to go to a disused Star Trek set and scamper free. Unfortunately, others conspire to bring him back to civilization to stop the galactic threat of the Necromongers, a group of hardcore H.R. Giger and Norwegian Black Metal fans. A threat that only he can face. Because there are prophecies and magic and elementals now... and he is still wanted despite everyone thinking he's dead and he talks about being a bad guy a LOT despite never doing anything actually bad.... yon know what? Just go with The Chronicles of Riddick.
     The final pick of pain from our "friend", Stone. A modern retelling of a classic Poe tale. Told in a way that makes the viewer long for the sweet sweet release of death from being chopped up and stuck under some floorboards or, you know, the movie end. Whichever is faster. The Tell-Tale Heart.
     All that and Dave has two visions, Tyler finally becomes a real live boy, and Kevin catches up with his favorite doll. Join us, won't you?

Episode 232: Stone's Double Crossing


Saturday, November 13, 2021

Vanity Hell Detective

     This week three films about people trying to stop evil.

     October 1986, the bodies of two women are found raped and murdered outside a small town. The local detectives are out of their depth, evidence is improperly collected, crime scenes are destroyed, their methods are ethically questionable, and forensics is almost nonexistent.  Loosely based on the true story of Korea's first serial killer, Memories of Murder.
     If you contact the Hell Correspondence website at exactly the right time and enter the name of someone you have a grudge against, they will be dragged to Hell. Miho and Hakura are massive fans of pop metal singer Maki. When Maki's protégé is dragged to hell, he soon sets his sights on Hakura. A cult, music, plans for global destruction, betrayals, blood attacks... and Hell Girl waits for names.
     Big time Hollywood actor-director-producer-writer-icon, Bruce Campbell, is taken to a small town of Gold Lick, Oregon. There he will make a lot of references, lots of homophobic jokes, force Ted Raimi to be his personal Rob Schneider, just so much racism, and ultimately face off against an ancient Chinese god. Do you like Bruce Campbell? Because if you like Bruce Campbell even a tiny tiny fraction as much as Bruce Campbell likes Bruce Campbell and the money he can milk from Bruce Campbell cult followers then Bruce Campbell has a very special message.... My Name is Bruce (Campbell).
     All that and Kevin has a Raymond Chandler evening, Tyler prepares himself for the FULL Diesel, and Dave does the time warp (again). Join us, won't we? 

Episode 231- Vanity Hell Detective


Saturday, November 6, 2021

Lunch with Jercules

    This week November brings two films that premiered at the 2020 Sundance Film Festival and Stone makes a brief pop in to deliver some pain.

     Simon, also known as John Q masked singer of  local punk band PSYOPS, needs a place to lie low for a couple days. Patty is a painfully awkward introvert with health issues and John Q's most obsessed fan. A super agro, infectiously punk anti-romcom romcom with an incredible lead performance that is sure to be a favorite of youths looking for their own voices for years to come... Dinner in America.
     Zola is a waitress and occasional dance in Detroit. When she becomes fast friends in with Stephani, dancer and part time escort, Zola gets swept up in a nightmarish weekend trip to Florida. A tale that launched a million Tweets recreated for the screen with hyper stylized visuals and walking the line between social media satire and harrowing glimpse at the economy of male lust, Zola.
     Hercules, traditionally, was a great champion of the weak whose strength and far flung adventures have been told through centuries. Renny Harlin's 2014 feature throws all of that away for bad CG, terrible fights, and a cast who shouldn't be allowed to act ever... not even in local dinner theater. Specifically brought out to cause pain of us, it does it's job and at least one is left a weeping mess. The only thing this Legend of Hercules should have left behind is a lot of dead careers.
     All that and Tyler loves to love, Kevin finally catches up on the latest thang, and Dave just can't hold it in. Join us, won't we?

Episode 230- Lunch with Jercules


Saturday, October 30, 2021

I Like to be Hugged

    This week we finish out our watch of Chucky.

     One month after the evens of 3, The Lakeshore Strangler's girlfriend, Tiffany Valentine, has spent the last decade brushing up on her voodoo and trying to get her hands on any piece of Chucky she can. Finally, all her work and patience is about to pay off in a way she should have seen coming. Beware Bride of Chucky.
     Shitface was found abandoned in a cemetery and now lives a life of humiliation and abuse as a ventriloquist's dummy. The only clue to their origin is a stamp "Made in Japan" on their left wrist. Meanwhile, in Hollywood, Jennifer Tilly is working on a new horror movie, Chucky Goes Psycho. Her costars are brand new animatronics made using parts from the real Chucky and Tiffany. Soon, Shitface will have two new names and their parents and every homicidal doll might get an upgrade to a human body. What horrrors are unleashed by a Seed of Chucky?
     Nica lives with her mother, Sarah, in an old, crumbling, and isolated house. One day a doll is delivered to their home from an unknown source. It isn't long until Sarah is dead and the house is stuffed with mourners spending the night before the funeral. Before dawn, Nica will learn how long she has spent her life under the Curse of Chucky.
     Andy Barclay has a secret. He has the head of Chucky mounted, half destroyed but still talking, in a safe in his wall. It plays hell with his social and romantic life. Nica has spent the last four years under the care of Dr. Foley, who finally feels it's time to transfer Nica to less a restrictive facility... a place that allows patients to have visitors. Soon the ward have as many Good Guy dolls as patients. Will either Andy or Nica escape the clutches of Cult of Chucky?
     All that and Dave has a little rant, Tyler loves to love, and Kevin feels it squish between his toes. Join us, won't you?

Episode 229- I Like to be Hugged: Chucky from Bride to Cult


Saturday, October 23, 2021

Your Friend to the End

     This week we take a look at Your Friend to the End's beginnings and the recent remake attempt.
     All Andy Barclay wants is a Good Guys Doll for his birthday. All serial killer Charles Lee Ray wants is a new body to call his own before being forever trapped in a doll. All Karen Barclay wants is for her young son to not be a developing killer. All Detective Mike Norris wants is to quickly and neatly wrap up the case. Only one of these people will get what they want. It might be all fun and games but none of it is.... Child's Play.
Two years after the first film, young Andy finds himself in foster care as his mother was packed off to a psychiatric hospital. While Chucky appears to be taken care of, Andy still doesn't trust Good Guys Dolls.           Unfortunately for Andy, the doll's parent company is secretly working on putting ol' Charles Ray back together again- just to make sure it hadn't evil switched or something. Soon Andy is once again fighting for his life beside fellow foster resident, Kyle. Andy and Kyle will lean navigating the system isn't Child's Play 2.
     Set eight years after the events of 2 and seven years in the future from its 1991 release, Andy is fresh meat at the Kent Military Academy. The school's commandant hopes that Andy can finally find some stability and put his doll fantasies behind him. Tragically, the parent company feels that the bad press from the two murder sprees is finally behind them and, instead of being reasonable and ending the line by replacing it with a new similar doll, they throw the factory door back open and roll a brand new reincarnation of Chucky off the line. The student body is about to learn war games aren't Child's Play 3.
     Taking a look at the receipts of the last original series entry and the current trend of evil doll movies, MGM decides to finally flex their long held remake option and cut off the original creators at the knees after abandoning the franchise way back in 1988. The Kaslan Company is the center of all life in every living space in the world, everything from security cameras to table saws to HVAC systems to mobility services. At the heart of the Kaslan ecosystem is the new Buddi doll. Not just the center interface for your life but also a super AI designed to be your best friend from birth until death. One day a sweatshop worker is pushed too far by his boss and flips a doll's evil switch before killing himself. That doll ends up through a convoluted route into the life of Andy Barclay and Child's Play (2019) ensues.
    Join us, won't you?

Episode 228- Your Friend to the End


Saturday, October 16, 2021

Two Quarrys Don't Cover the Price of Korda

    Next stop 1971 with three groovy horrors from the groovy minds at AIP and one of Franco's best know exploitations.

     A couple in Turkey stop in at their neighborhood sex cabaret and watch a vampire devour her dance partner. Unfortunately for everyone, this evening of entertainment puts Linda right in the sights of Countess Carody. The vampire doesn't just want a light snack but to own our blonde heroine body and soul. Will Linda escape the vampire's clutches or will she find nothing but death and madness in the embrace of Vampyros Lesbos?
     Donna and her swinging friends have a party to contact her recently deceased mother. The gathering is lead by her mother's boyfriend, a mysterious and dashing Bulgarian noble who just a few months ago moved into the not at all scary old mansion outside of town. Before they know it the whole group is in peril as one of the female members vanishes and her boyfriend turns up dead. Can these meddling middle age kids stop the bloodshed or will they all fall victim to Count Yorga, Vampire?
     A stake can't keep a bad vampire down. Count Yorga and his brides rise from their graves to find they now live next door to an orphanage. Taking a shine to a teacher, Cynthia, the Count begins a diabolical plan to make her one of his brides. This time our middle age kids go to the police for help but it all maybe too late and The Return of Count Yorga will deliver him triumphant?
     The brilliant musician and theologian, Dr. Aton Phibes, was thought to have died in a car accident four years ago after hearing about the death of his wife on an operating table. Now someone is taking revenge against the medical team with the Plagues of Egypt. Did Phibes survive? Who is the beautiful woman reportedly seen in the vicinity of each murder? Will our intrepid detective inspector solve the case or will the plagues play out to avenge The Abominable Dr. Phibes?
     All that and Dave gets hyped, Tyler keeps it mellow, and Kevin shames us all with his shame bell. Join us, won't you?

Episode 227- Two Quarrys Don't Cover the Price of Korda



Saturday, October 9, 2021

Troublesome Texts

 October Horror Week 2- Four films from 1981, all prominently featuring books as driving plot devices.

     Five college students go to an old abandoned cabin in the woods. Before long they discover the Necronomicon Ex -Mortis, bound in human flesh and inked in human blood, and a handy reel to reel recorder that has a couple relevant passages ready to make sure they will all be dead by dawn. A film that spawned three feature follow-ups (soon to be four), nine video games (soon to be ten), an endless number of comics (which just started a new series), a musical, a one-man stage show, and a tv series- The Evil Dead.
     Decades ago the citizens of New Orleans stopped a painter from opening one of the doors to Hell with the mystical tome Eibon. Fifty-four years later the building has been inherited by a New Yorker who decides to open it as a hotel. Not too far into renovations, the painter's ghost returns to finish what it started. Umberto Lenzi's most polarizing film. One of the most deeply loved and vehemently hated horror films ever produced by Italy. Incoherent, atmospheric, chaotic, evocative, and lightly gore splattered- The Beyond.
     After spending seven years running an international conglomerate, the Antichrist accepts the position of U.S. Ambassador to Great Britain, a position held by his adoptive father when we first met him. Having fully embraced his lineage, Damien Thorn now looks to rewrite his destiny by killing the Second Coming's return to power. Now all boys born on the day of a unique astral alignment are marked for death. The only ones standing between the son of Satan and victory are seven priests who hold the only Earthly means of killing Damien. The world is in turmoil, wars threaten to breakout everywhere, the stage is set for- The Final Conflict aka Omen III.
     A trio of students head into the jungles of Columbia to prove if one's doctoral thesis and putting an end to the myth of cannibalism. It isn't long until they encounter two more honkies from New York... who just happen to be running from cannibals. For reasons that no one watching or involved understand the five-some go back to the village. Meanwhile, a detective and city tour guide are looking for our not-so-intrepid party. Is the theory right or will they all meet a tasty end for their arrogance- Cannibal Ferox.
     Join us, won't you?
Episode 226- Troublesome Texts


Saturday, October 2, 2021

Freddy vs Jason vs Toothfairy vs Dissociative Identity Disorder

    We start off October with a foursome of fright flicks from the year 2003. 

     The fight of the century. The two biggest heavyweights in horror history finally square off on both their home turfs with the kids of Springwood as the prize. In this corner- the Momma's Boy from a Watery Grave, the Soaked Terror of Forest Green, the Tapper to Camp Blood's Keg- Jaaaaaason Vooooorheeees! And in the opposing corner- The Springwood Slasher, the Son of a Thousand Maniacs,  the Overcooked Red Baron with His Own Knives- Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrredy Kruuuuuger! Let's hope for a dirty fight- Freddy vs Jason.
     In this town, every child receives a special visit when they loose their last baby tooth. Unfortunately, 12 years ago Kyle opened his eyes and saw the Toothfairy. Now he must return home and help his childhood friend's brother who also saw her. Can Kyle save the kid or will he be just another victim in Darkness Falls?
     Su-mi returns home after being treated for shock and psychosis. It isn't any time until she sees the effects of her step-mother's vicious abuse. To make it worse, on the first night she starts being haunted by a ghost. A modern take on a popular folktale, A Tale of Two Sisters.
     Kenneth is a brilliant technical writer but painfully socially repressed and awkward. When a major project with a tight deadline lands on his desk. To make it worse, he is assigned an attractive temp he finds himself unable to communicate with. Before too long, Kenneth begins to buckle under the pressure and stress... until Nikki enters his life. A realistic love doll that he can connect with and work through his social issues. Finding his life finally coming together, Kenneth soon beings to branch out, connecting with the temp in ways he never could before, and learns that Nikki doesn't like that. What will become of his Love Object
     All that and Tyler reminisces while Kevin and Dave have the scariest realization is that these were released almost 20 years ago and both are old now.
Join us, and stay off the lawn, won't you?

Episode 225- Freddy vs Jason vs Toothfairy vs Dissociative Identity Disorder


Saturday, September 25, 2021

Breach Hull- All Die

 This week four films set on small fragile metal boxes floating in the cold vacuum of space.

     A long missing experimental ship reappears in a decaying orbit around Neptune. The lead designer and a crew in desperate need of a vacation are quickly dispatched to see if there are any survivors and salvage the ship if possible. They soon find the ship didn't return empty after all. What horrors lurk on the Event Horizon.
     Six films and 21 years after originally being canceled, the crew of the USS Enterprise is three months from standing down. Before they can take their well-earned retirement, they are volunteered on one final mission- escort a Klingon ambassador to a peace conference in Federation space and finally end their long running cold war. Since nothing is ever easy they will also unravel a deep conspiracy against any peace and their own deeply held views on their former enemy. A Shakespearean finale to one of the best loved series, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
     Dr. Kris Kelvin arrives at a space station orbiting a distant planet at the request of an old friend. The station has a lot of strange events happening and the security force previous sent to help has disappeared. Before long the exact nature of what is happening is revealed and Kris must struggle with questions of his past and the accuracy of his own memory. What secrets does Solaris hold?
     Three boys all share the same dream. A dream of alien schematics. Together they build a ship and set off to make contact. One of Joe Dante's many cult films. What will these Explorers find in the great unknown?
     All that and Dave makes a speech, Tyler goes with the flow, and Kevin sees his own personal Hell. join us, won't you?

Episode 224- Breach Hull- All Die (Whaddayaknow... even had it underlined)


Saturday, September 18, 2021

Debauching Virulent Chevalier

    This week three auteur works with single character focuses. 

     Fleeing from her husband with a bag full of cash, Bridget gets stuck in the small upstate town of Beston and tries to lie low  there by taking an assumed name and temporary job. She also starts what should be a fun affair with local, Mike. Unfortunately, her husband won't let her go so easily and Mike becomes ever more possessive and clingy. Will Bridget get free or will this be The Last Seduction?
     A cipher wonders around Los Angeles and Las Vegas with a revolving cast of interchangeable people who are assigned tarot identifiers. Freely shifting from dream to memory to current experience all overdubbed with stream-of-conscious monologues. Will the Knight of Cups wake when he finds The Pearl?
     The director that keeps laying golden franchises tries his luck a fourth time with the story of a woman and the potentially supernatural killer she is somehow connected to. Will it strike gold a fourth time of has this Malignant imagination stalled?
     All this and Dave is locked in a basement, Kevin endures sunny skies, and Tyler stalks at night. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 223- Debauching Virulent Chevalier


Saturday, September 11, 2021

Two Flavors of Sand

     This week two films set, at least partially, under the blazing desert sun.

     A military prison in the Libyan Desert where the guards are just as brutal as the land. Five new prisoners, including a former Sargent Major convicted of assaulting his commanding officer, are placed under the charge of Staff Sargent Williams, an equally new guard who sees their suffering as a means of promotion. The first of five collaborations between director Sidney Lumet and star Sean Connery, The Hill.
     The last entry in a trilogy that has enamored generations and spawned a multi-billion dollar franchise. It has been a year since Captain Solo was captured at Cloud City. His friends arrive with a desperate plan to rescue him with the hopes that this victory will help turn around the fortunes of a struggling rebellion. Meanwhile, the last living Jedi master is quickly nearing the end of his life and the Empire are nearly finished rebuilding their ultimate weapon of terror and domination- The Death Star. Before all hope is lost, there will be a Return of the Jedi.
     All that and Tyler has no hesitation, Kevin feels the sting of an unfair fight, and Dave chokes on his cotton candy. Join us, won't you?

Episode 222- Two Flavors of Sand



Saturday, September 4, 2021

Terror Beneath Fighter Street

      This week we salute action superstar Sonny Chiba.

     What lurks in the waters between an experimental naval research base and a nuclear waste dumping group? If you guessed totalitarian mad scientists with an army of cyborg fish people, feel assured in the superiority of your wisdom. Sonny and Peggy Neal paly reports who quickly find themselves out of their depth and facing Terror Beneath the Sea.
     One of the most influential grindhouse martial art films ever made and Chiba's best known role. Terry Tsurugi is an assassin bad ass until he decides to stand against an organized crime group from China to protect a young heiress. Bones break, skulls are crushed, castration happens in the first film to ever receive an X-rating for violence alone. Can anything slow down The Street Fighter and his destructive path?
     All that and Kevin is compelled to hide his kilt, Anna gets all haute couture, and Dave wears (and sleeps in) trash. Join us, won't you?
Episode 221- Terror Beneath Fighter Street!



Saturday, August 28, 2021

More Sweets to the Sweet

    This week RotP hopes to catch a ride on the new release hypetrain with a look back at the original Candyman sequels.

     Four years after the first film, a New Orleans schoolteacher finds herself getting the attention of Candyman. Eventually a secret of her origin that connect her to Candyman will be revealed. Can the teacher stay alive through Ash Wednesday or will she agree to be his victim and say Farewell to the Flesh?
     Twenty-five years after his last appearance Candyman appears during The Day of the Dead in LA and targets a gallery owner who just happens to be a direct descendant of our hook-handed legend AND the reincarnation of his daughter... they could have thought up a better subtitle than Day of the Dead.
     All that and Tyler speaks more than he's ever spoken, Dave is hogtied and gagged in a closet somewhere, and Kevin likes to watch. Join us, won't you?

Episode 220- More Sweets to the Sweet


Saturday, August 21, 2021

Electric Italian Outback Foosball

    This week a four pack of regular octane fueled post apocalyptic mayhem. 

     In the far flung future, Texas has succumbed to the wilds and only has the battle hardened Rangers to stand for justice. To be honest, this is a hard one to describe, a four film franchise plopped in a blender and spun until semi combined into one epic. There are Nazis with super science shields, questionable Native American depictions, at least on giant ginger goddess, side trips into a Michael Cimino classic, and a fistful of biker gangs... 2020 Texas Gladiators!
     In another far flung future, the Bronx will be declared an autonomous no man's land and left to the dominion of highly fashion forward gangs. One leader, Trash, will find purpose from a young blonde outsider who takes refuge in the crumbling streets and chaos. Will our star crossed lovers rise to the task at hand or will they be just another stain left behind the mean streets of 1990: The Bronx Warriors?
     In the farthest flung future, the world in divided into the hand to mouth living above and the wealthy opulence of the Nine Cities below. The only thing anyone has above to build a better future is The Game. If a travelling team is good enough, they can challenge the professionals of the League and hopefully win a place of luxury among the best of the best. Salute the Jugger and see The Blood of Heroes.
     Sit by the fire and hears the telling of how our world be as it is today. The tale of a wonderer and Aunty Entity's iron rule in Batertown. How the pigs make the lights. How we got to Tomorrow-morrow land and the failure of Captain Walker. But mostly, the telling of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. 
     All that and Dave preps for a walkabout, Anna teaches about Planet Erf, and Kevin's magic act rehearsal goes terribly terribly wrong. Join us, won't you?

Episode 219- Electric Italian Outback Foosball


Saturday, August 14, 2021

Turtle Sweets

     This week... a steaming bowel of turtle soup and some old fashioned honey based junk food.

     Bernard Rose expands and reworks Clive Barker's "The Forbidden" into a new cinematic legend. When semiotics grad student Helen goes poking around Cabrini-Green, as part of her thesis on how urban legends can be used as a coping mechanism, she soon finds there is much more to her subject than she ever thought possible. A horror film about race and social class in inner-city and one of the greatest horror antagonist. Whatever you do, don't say his name five times... Candyman.
     A year has passed since the epic battles between Gamera and Gyaos left much of Japan in ruins. There had been no signs of more kaiju trouble since but you can never count space monsters out. On the night of a meteor shower, strange plants spring up all over the Sapporo and large insect creatures roam at night. What can be done to stop this invasion? Is all hope lost or will the Guardian of the Universe and friend to all children rise to save Japan again? The middle section of the Heisei trilogy, all of which are firmly rank among the best kaiju films ever made, Gamera 2: Attack of Legion.
     All that and Kevin learns the crushing feeling of disappointment, Tyler is elated beyond his wildest hopes, and Dave watches some TV. Join us, won't you?

Saturday, August 7, 2021

Ghostly Nookie

     Ah, 1980s nostalgia is still inescapable despite the usual cycle  of cultural nostalgia should have clicked over to the 90s years ago.

     A 1982 made for TV movie about a family looking to start fresh after the death of their oldest child. They move into a new home, take in granny, and dad goes so far as to start a new job. A complete reset for the family. It's too bad that the deceased daughter's ghost will soon be making beyond the grave calls to their middle child and with them the start of a new nightmare for them all. Whatever you do, Don't Go to Sleep.
     Three years ago Charlie watched Mick beat two kids severely. Unable to just stand by, he goes to the police to report what he has seen. Before the wheels of the system can chew up Mick, Charlie has a change of heart and withdraws his statement. The years go by and one day, Mick shows up in Charlie's dorm room with possibly less than above board reasons for deeply insinuating himself in the student's life. The directorial debut of nu-metal front man Fred Durst, The Education of Charlie Banks.
     All that and Tyler talks tats, Dave has a cookie removed from his butt at the hospital, and Kevin admits that he can't believe he could be deceived. Join us, won't you?

Saturday, July 31, 2021

Lay Me Down... A Romance Special

     We bring July to a close with a celebration of romance. We find some heat in the heat. 

     Mike and Scott are young hustlers living on the streets of Portland. They embark on a search for Mike's mothers that will take them from there to Mike's childhood home and destinations far beyond. Meanwhile, Scott plots his future in Shakespearean detail which begins very soon. Ultimately, both just want to find Gus Van Sant's My Own Private Idaho
     Based on the classic horror novel but infusing a mythology of love beyond time. One of the most gorgeously designed films in history with some of the worst accents to ever be captured by recording equipment. A highlight and lowlight of it's auteur's filmography. Ham never dies, it just gets stinkier like a Lugosi left in the sun.... Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula.
     Shanghai expatriates in 1960s Hong Kong. The other side of the most common romance trope. A noir styled look at emotions repressed and loneliness as the action happens elsewhere. A true masterpiece from one of the great artists, Wong Kar-wai's In the Mood for Love.
     A woman returns to the strict Jewish Orthodox community she grew up in so she can bury her estranged father. Maybe she can find her own peace and embers of the love she ran away from still gently glowing under all the soot of tradition. Sometimes one must have (Sebastián Lelio's) Disobedience.
    All that and Tyler has a real life anime harem, Kevin finds a lady in each port, and Dave dies alone. Join us, won't you?
Episode 216- Lay Me Down in the Tall Grass and Let Me Do T Stuff: A Romance Special


Saturday, July 24, 2021

Bette Davis Lies

     Double the slasher mayhem, double the final girl show down, double the meta commentary!

     Pendleton University has developed a bad case of the someone is killing a friend group in ways directly connected to one of the classes they are all in together. Could these be the work of the professor whose life's work inspires the murders or the desperate to avoid attention dean at all costs or the janitor who happens to be the sole survivor of another killing spree on university grounds? Nah. It's none of them but the killer is definitely knowledgeable on Urban Legend.
     Max's mother was an actress desperate to break out from the shadow of a slasher movie she starred in 25 years earlier. When she dies in a tragic accident, Max never properly resolved her feelings and, on the third anniversary of her mother's death, the movie they had tried desperately to escape will force her to come to terms with herself and her grief. A heartfelt view of grief and a sly homage to camp classics through a sharp modern eye. There's some heavy introspection for The Final Girls.
     All that and Dave will always know what you did last summer and it wasn't very fun, Tyler gets a membership at a nice new death spa with a good laps pool, and Kevin looks at property on Fear boulevard three blocks from Point Horror. Join us, won't you?

EPISODE 215- Bette Davie Lies



Saturday, July 17, 2021

Mind Your Teas and Qs

      This week two girls with slight daddy issues and different ways of expressing their inner turmoil. 

     13- year old Rynn's father is a poet and far too secretive for their nosey landlady, Mrs. Hallet, who keeps finding reasons to bother them. Which, in turn, gives her son reason to suspect that his bothering Rynn won't have anyone to interfere. Part takedown of small town bigotry and isolationism, part children's rights parable, part  wrapped in a unique horror mystery... what happened to The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane?
     Cécile has her father's ashes in a Tupperware container. Her grief turns her into the embodiment of desire as she roams through a small French seaside city. There's a vague economic crisis and a group of connected but nameless and faceless pretty young people stumble around with her. Will Cécile and the rest find whatever it is they are looking for? Or is there nothing but Q (aka Desire)?
     All that and Dave gets senile, Kevin self harms, and Tyler rolls in something. Join us, won't you?

Episode 214- Mind Your Teas and Qs


Saturday, July 10, 2021

Betting on Red

     This week a gambler risks it all and everything comes up cookies.

     Cosmo Vittelli owns a night club on the Sunset Strip and has just paid off a 7-year debt to a loan shark. He decides to take his favorite girls out to celebrate and digs a new hole to the depth of $23,000. Forced to sign over his club as collateral, Cosmo looks for anyway to get his head back above water without losing his cherished burlesque. That is when a gangster acquaintance, Morty, arrives with a deal. All Cosmo has to do is kill a low level bookie who works for a rival group. Is it worth The Killing of a Chinese Bookie?
     Phyllis has been left by her philandering husband. In an effort to maintain a relationship with her daughter during the combative divorce, she takes the reins of the unruly local Wilderness Girls troop. Despite lacking the skills most troop leaders hold dear, Phyllis instead teaches the girls how to survive in the wilderness of their social swamp. Soon she will have a target on her back from a staunch traditionalist in the organization. Will she be able to save Troop Beverly Hills?
     All that and Kevin takes a trip through time, Dave almost dies, and Tyler will always know what Craig did the summer before the summer before the summer after last summer. Join us, won't you?

Episode 213- Betting on Red


Saturday, July 3, 2021

Olly Olly Fox Ain't Free

     Occasionally, we here at RotP get questions about how best to court our very own Tyler. Take notes, ladies, it's all in this weeks films.

     A pair of 9 year olds set out on an odyssey across LA at night. Desperately trying to reach Staples Center for a survival contest that could improve their lives drastically. It is a night full of encounters and hidden motives. What becomes of these Concrete Kids?
     Jack is an online blackjack player. He uses all his winnings on smoking fetish dom camgirls. His favorite is Scarlett. When Jack learns she might be much closer than he thought, schemes will be set in motion that will lead to the doom of all involved. Beware the lies you tell in PVT Chat.
     All that and Kevin likes to watch, Tyler binges, and Dave tries to avoid the police. Join us, won't you?


Saturday, June 26, 2021

Filmy Shades of Gray

      This week Dave leads us through an amazing journey and we learn all that we should know. 
     The best video game movie and it isn't even based on a video game but there IS a video game marketing tie-in that is actually based on the source comic but whatever. When she shortcuts through his dream subspace, manic pixie dream template, Ramona Flowers will draw our Canadian hero into a fight for his life against The League of Evil Exes. Can the day be saved, the girl be won, and everything brought to a satisfactory conclusion or are we one fight away from the League expanding its membership when Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
     Not content to leave a certain warm fuzzy nostalgia place, we take a long and fairly meandering trip to Californiaaaa. In order to keep his deeply PTSD brother from being institutionalized, Corey sneaks him away. Without a dime to their names or a real plan, the boys survive by hustling all the very conveniently placed PlayChoice-10 arcade machines scattered through the American Midwest. Learning about the Video Armageddon Championship competition, the boys and their new friend, Haley, resolve to win the prize money and make a new lives for themselves. Unfortunately, the boys father and a child recovery specialist is on their trail. What will become of The Wizard?
     A year with the Jian family in Taipei. Father, NJ, is dissatisfied with his job and his first big love just walked back into his life. His wife's depression and constant care of her comatose mother leads her to the only solution she can think of. His daughter embarks on her own first romance and love triangle. His son searches for a way to some how express his feelings at his rapidly changing and upheaved home life. A film about moments of life, one after another, Yi Yi.
     In 1987, Jerry Lundergaard arranged for his wife's kidnapping in an effort to scam a million dollars out of his father-in-law. It didn't go as planned. Marge Gunderson is the police chief of Brainerd, Minnesota  and seven months pregnant. One of her officers was murdered during a traffic stop. One of Joel and Ethan Coen's many black comedic masterpieces- Fargo.
     Join us, won't you?

Episode 211- Filmy Shades of Gray


Saturday, June 19, 2021

Happy Hippy Hoppy Hassles

      This week a pair of cult classics from sun-drenched lands. 

     When the Kelly Affair goes Hollywood they quickly find themselves swept up in a whirlwind of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. Front woman Kelly gets in a fight for her fair share of the family fortune. Drummer Pet finds that it a fairy-tale romance can cover terrifying problems, Manager Harris learns there isn't always a light at the end of the tunnel, Bassist Casey learns that someone must pay the price. Producer Z-man learns that sometimes you just can't get what you want but if you try sometimes you might find... you get a big ass sword. Find out what lies Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.
     Jessica lives a peaceful life running an animal sanctuary in the middle of the Australian outback. Her idyllic existence is soon shattered by the arrival of three kangaroo hunters. Not content to just illegally rampage across her land, the trio decide to teacher a lesson for standing against them. As the two sides continue to clash in confrontation after confrontation, it is only a matter of time before they learn that in some places everything is Fair Game.
     All that and Kevin punishes himself, Tyler revels, and Dave stands alone. Join us, won't you?

Episode 210- Happy Hippy Hoppy Hassles


Saturday, June 12, 2021

Dog the Bounty Blunter

      This week three tales of dogged determination. 

     Michael wants to be a professional skater. His father wants him to go to college. He sets about to follow his dream but it comes with consequences. Will he succeed? Will Michael's dreams crash and he will wake up on the job with his father mixing cement? Will he ever escape the confines of North Hollywood?
     A very good doggy in a town of very awful people. Found on the side of the road, Red Dog is brought to the Australian mining community of Dampier. From there he would become a legend and great unifier of the people. Years later, the men celebrate their doggy companion and his unswerving loyalty and endless sacrifices for their vanities... all while ignoring that one of them most definitely murdered him.
     Bounty Hunter Jack Walsh is hired to bring in an embezzling mob accountant known as "The Duke" before his bond defaults in five days. What should be an easy Midnight Run becomes a series of misadventures in one of the world's favorite buddy comedies. Will Jack make it in time? Will the mob catch up with them and make The Duke disappear? Is this secretly connected to The Score? Probably, possibly, I hope anyway.
     All that and Dave fears getting old, Tyler doesn't do much of anything, and Kevin once again rubs our noses in the mess we left on the carpet. Join us, won't you?


Saturday, June 5, 2021

Red Oi!

     This week- two films about the joys of travel.

     When hotel manager Lisa boards a late night flight from Dallas to Miami, she never expected to spend the flight seated to a terrorist who forces her to make a choice. Her father's life for a Homeland Security Deputy Secretary's. There will be no rest of the wicked or the virtuous on this Red Eye.
     Danny is a wannabe, Dex is a legend. When their paths cross, Danny dives head on into orchestrating a road trip to rebuild the once great firm and give Dex his long denies revenge. Taking shots at the British hooligan genre supported whose who of the genre's biggest names along the way. Will Danny and Dex succeed in restoring the greatness of The Hooligan Factory?
     All that and Dave caves to peer pressure, Tyler gets his whoop whoop on, and Kevin once again proves that he's the classiest top boy to ever get his Hungarian auteur on. Join us, won't you?

Episode 208- Red Oi!



Saturday, May 29, 2021

Mark of Iglesia

     This week we pay homage to cult Spanish filmmaker 'Alex de la Iglesia.

     When Perdita meets up with Romeo, it's not long until they find themselves why over their heads with the DEA hot on their trail, a pair of tourists to be sacrificed, a trailer full of frozen fetuses (or foetuses if you are British), and their employer looking to clean up loose ends. Based on Barry Gifford's third book in the Sailor and Lula series. Who leads Perdita Durango in her dance with the devil?
     An America student at Oxford wants a notorious professor to advise on his thesis. In order to make that happen, he takes up residence at the home of an old friend of the professor's, begins dating a former fling of the professor's, stalks his lectures, and before either knows it they are dragged into a a murder mystery that might be taunting the professor. In between killings there's a lot of talk about concepts that no one involved with the movie understands while standing around in fairly dull English sitting rooms. Who will be the next victim of The Oxford Murders?
     Javier is a sad clown. He works with happy clown Sergio, who is also a violent sociopath one drunk night away from murdering his girlfriend, Natalia. Hard violence, black humor, sharp social satire and a sad trumpet ballad play out The Last Circus.
     The antichrist is coming and Angel, a Basque priest, is going to do as much evil as he can in his attempt to thwart it. Joined by a heavy metal loving record store clerk and an occult TV host, Angel will try to stop The Day of the Beast in anyway he can.
     All that and Tyler suffers, Kevin demands hunky boys, and Dave flees a psycho cop. Join us, won't you?



Saturday, May 22, 2021

Crushed Ice

     This week RotP heads to the beach for some sun and fun and love and surf and conquest and white savior shenanigans.

     When Allie Fox gets tired of whining at his sons about how much America has fallen from the good old days, he packs up his family and moves them to Belize. To make ice. Which apparently he thinks the people there will confuse for precious stones and worship him over. No one said Allie's plan was a good one. Not counting Allie. Will the Fox family sink or swim or die of leishmaniasis on The Mosquito Coast?
     Anne Marie has been invited to compete in a prestigious competition at the famed Banzai Pipeline. If she makes a good show of it, she can land sponsors and make a better life for herself, her younger sister, and her friends who all live together actively helping to raise the sister. Unfortunately, Anne Marie is more interested in romance with a sexy NFL player in town for the Pro Bowl. This drives a wedge between her and the others. Will Anne Marie rise to the challenge, will she make a good football wives reality star?  Does that matter when you have the wave's Blue Crush calling?
     All that and Kevin likes to watch, Dave is lost in an inner journey of no discovery, and Tyler regresses to tweendom. Join us, won't you?



Saturday, May 15, 2021

Harold and Yuki

      This week Dave takes it upon himself to amend two grievous oversights. After learning about gaps in cohost viewings, and making some small sacrifices to Meiko Kaji for guidance, a vision was given unto Dave and he cheated the random pick pull to bring everyone to deliverance.

     Born to avenge her family, trained through her entire childhood, finally unleashed and hell bent on gory revenge. Yuki seeks out those who killed her father and brother and spent days raping and torturing her mother. Raising standard samurai exploitation to the highest of visual poetry, not even death can keep Lady Snowblood from her satisfaction.
     Harold is bored and the only thing that keeps him entertained is a light spot of dramatic suicide. His mother, uncle, and therapist don't understand him and he can't live the life they proscribe for him. Then one day, at another crashed funeral, Maude drifts into his life. A dark comedy about existential anxiety and what might be found when you embrace it. One of cinema's greatest love stories, Harold & Maude.
     All that and Kevin gets dirty in Cape Town, Tyler spirals in nostalgia, and Dave runs out of places to hide his sacrifices. 




Saturday, May 8, 2021

Lost in D'Onofrio

      A movie about a family lost in outer space and one about someone lost in inner space. 

     When serial killer Carl Stargher is found comatose on his kitchen floor, a desperate detective turns to an experimental therapy to help find her location. The therapy requires Catherine Deane to dive deep into Stargher's subconscious. A visual marvel from a master of imagery. Can anyone escape from The Cell.
     The year is 2058 and Earth is dying. In order to prepare a new world for colonization the family Robinson launch in the Jupiter II to build the other end of a jumpgate. Tragically, the missions is sabotaged by the villainous Doctor Smith just before launch. Now the Robinsons, their pilot, and Smith are all light-years and decades off target and in a part of the galaxy never before seen by human eyes. Why they sent a family comprised of three doctors and two preteens instead of, I don't know, an experienced deep space construction crew is a mystery for the ages. Not that it matters. All that matters is the Robinsons are Lost in Space!!!
     All that and Tyler makes a sacrifice to the bewb tube, Kevin watches a very long documentary, and Dave feels feelings he's just not ready to feel. Join us, won't you? 




Saturday, May 1, 2021

Test Your Might: Mortal Kombat Special

     A tournament held once a generation, conceived by the Elder Gods, as a way to slow Outworld's aggressive expansion against the other realms. When a realm loses 10 consecutive tournaments, the portals open and Outworld absorbs the realm into itself. Earthrealm has lost the last nine tournaments.

     This week all four features about the tournament brought to arcades by Midway and eventually kicked off a Congressional panic. Mortal Kombat (1995), Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge, and Mortal Kombat (2021). We are in for a bloody time. Join us, won't you?

Episode 203- Test Your Might: Mortal Kombat Special