Full Court Haunt

     This week- two films about dudes justifying their actions as being pushed to extremes by manipulative outside forces.

     Odin James, an African-American basketball prodigy, has earned a leadership position on a highly competitive  private school's predominately white and upper-middle class team and the interest of many college recruiters. When Odin shares his team MVP award with Michael, Hugo, the coach's jealous son, devises a plot to take them both down so he can step into the team's spotlight. An updated take on Shakespeare and the second directorial feature from playwright and character actor Time Blake Nelson- O.
     Charles Dexter Ward has inherited the grand mansion overlooking the small town of Arkham, Massachusetts. Little does he suspect that is the same place where the town burned his forebearer, the necromancer Joseph Curwen, 110 years earlier. The sixth film in Roger Corman's Poe cycle and the first film adaption of a H.P. Lovecraft story- The Haunted Palace. 
     All that and Kevin and Dave make the most of their time, ignoring the mysterious disappearances around them. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 471- Full Court Haunt

(Acid) Bath & Beyond

     This week- English people get up to some not nice things.

     A jogger collapses and wakes up an amputee. An Eastern European totalitarian murders his way up the ranks. Finally, the worst cop in London teams with the angriest young pathologist to stop a brutal killer targeting young women. An absurd exercise in science fiction with support from three of horror's favorite sons, Scream and Scream Again.
     Miriam and her husband take a long trip to visit her sister, Greta, and brother-in-law, Dylan. Sometime in the future, Miriam and Greta's relationship is strained to near breaking while they set up for Dylan's family reunion. Sometime between these scenes, a brutal act of betrayal and an equally brutal act of vengeance. In the end, Miriam makes ice cream. Writer-directors Madeleine Sims-Fewer and Dusty Mancinelli's vicious rape-revenge film anchored by powerful lead performances, Violation. 
     All that and Dave objects, Craig makes recommendations, and Tyler is blissfully unaware of his impending doom at the cute paws of a squirrel army. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 352- (Acid) Bath & Beyond

In a Blink

     This week we cap off September with four sweetly brief movies holding runtimes under 80 minutes.

     England, 1941, German planes fill the night skies and the Angel of Portobello is giving accurate warnings to the public, keeping casualties to a minimum. Broadcasting secretly, the Hanbury sisters have built an incredible machine that can and will change history as we are aware of it. A feature debut of impressive technical mastery, LOLA.
     Philip Winthrop travels to his fiancée's childhood home, a crumbling old structure on blighted land, to bring her back to Boston.  He doesn't expect the opposition her brother brings to his plans, begging him to allow them to silently fall apart with the house. The wall cracks increase with both men's desperation to achieve their desired outcomes. The first of Roger Corman's Poe Cycle for American International Pictures, House of Usher.
     When Khoma Brutus and his friends are lost on their way home to their seminary, they take refuge in the home of a witch for the night. Events will soon conspire for Khoma to stand a three night vigil for the soul daughter of a rich merchant and witchy revenge. A Soviet era classic based on the story by Nikolai Gogol, Viy.
    A vacationing American couple go scuba diving, only to find themselves left behind by their tour boat. Stranded, miles from anywhere without any supplies and a circle of sharks tightening around them, the couple tries to endure. Inspired by actual events that had a lasting impact on the scuba tourism industry and left a mystery that will never be solved, Open Water. 
    All that and we prepare for the delights of October. Join us, won't we? 
   Episode 328- In a Blink

Prestidigitation Automation

     This week- a whole bunch of people who are in questionable states of mind. 

     When Gallico, an aspiring magician and underappreciated inventor of death defying stage effects, is stopped in the middle of his professional debut by his employer he might finally be pushed too far. With his brilliant mind for tricks and make up, Gallico begins a path of revenge in glorious 3D. Can anyone stop The Mad Magician?
     Young-goon refuses to eat, believing she is a cyborg. After trying to plug herself in to recharge, an action interpreted as a suicide attempt by all around her, she is institutionalized. Il-soon is an anti-social kleptomaniac, who believes he can steal other's attributes and skills, with a penchant for rabbit masks. Will Young-goon waste away, can Il-soon steal her sympathy so she can get revenge on the "men in white"? Either way I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK.
     All that and Tyler gets stuck burning through the witches ditches, Dave finds a hidden treasure, and Kevin gives up speech for interpretive dance. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 299- Prestidigitation Automation

Two Quarrys Don't Cover the Price of Korda

    Next stop 1971 with three groovy horrors from the groovy minds at AIP and one of Franco's best know exploitations.

     A couple in Turkey stop in at their neighborhood sex cabaret and watch a vampire devour her dance partner. Unfortunately for everyone, this evening of entertainment puts Linda right in the sights of Countess Carody. The vampire doesn't just want a light snack but to own our blonde heroine body and soul. Will Linda escape the vampire's clutches or will she find nothing but death and madness in the embrace of Vampyros Lesbos?
     Donna and her swinging friends have a party to contact her recently deceased mother. The gathering is lead by her mother's boyfriend, a mysterious and dashing Bulgarian noble who just a few months ago moved into the not at all scary old mansion outside of town. Before they know it the whole group is in peril as one of the female members vanishes and her boyfriend turns up dead. Can these meddling middle age kids stop the bloodshed or will they all fall victim to Count Yorga, Vampire?
     A stake can't keep a bad vampire down. Count Yorga and his brides rise from their graves to find they now live next door to an orphanage. Taking a shine to a teacher, Cynthia, the Count begins a diabolical plan to make her one of his brides. This time our middle age kids go to the police for help but it all maybe too late and The Return of Count Yorga will deliver him triumphant?
     The brilliant musician and theologian, Dr. Aton Phibes, was thought to have died in a car accident four years ago after hearing about the death of his wife on an operating table. Now someone is taking revenge against the medical team with the Plagues of Egypt. Did Phibes survive? Who is the beautiful woman reportedly seen in the vicinity of each murder? Will our intrepid detective inspector solve the case or will the plagues play out to avenge The Abominable Dr. Phibes?
     All that and Dave gets hyped, Tyler keeps it mellow, and Kevin shames us all with his shame bell. Join us, won't you?

Episode 227- Two Quarrys Don't Cover the Price of Korda

Of Lionhearts and Camgirls

      This week a double feature of cult proportions. 

     A camgirl has a breakdown just as she is offered an opportunity from an unknown benefactor. Taking initiative, she jumps right out to California and it all goes down from there. Is it a psychological character study with a detailed and subtle lead performance or a very cheap and boring porn with acting that is embarrassing even for a porn parody? Either way we definitely saw some Portraits of Andrea Palmer.
     A legend of the stage is spurred by snobby critics and tragically takes his own life... or did he? Is this the great thespian risen or is someone else cutting the reviewers down to size? Can you have too make Shakespeare references in one movie? We took our seats in the Theatre of Blood.
     All that and Tyler gets pumped, Anna sees two of the greatest horror movies the way God or Sam Raimi (whichever) intended, Kevin continues to have a flourishing social life, and Dave tries not to digress and fails. Join us, won't you?

Episode 171- Of Lionhearts and Camgirls

Better the Second Time Around

     We draw remake month to a close the only way we know how, by asking the age old question, is the remake ever better? Well, yeah, sometimes but what about these four examples? MAYBE! 

     We skinny dip through the last film before John McTiernan lost his shit to paranoia... The Thomas Crown Affair. Can the 90s make work a daring heist film about a bored billionaire work better than the 60s original about a bored millionaire? 
     Can people eating fish really improve on another try? Does dipping it in meta and gleeful nudity soaked in gore bring it to a new edge? Or do Piranha 3D lose their teeth?

     Can you really out Vincent Price Vincent Price? Does making it less Scooby-Doo and more Ghostbusters actually bring the terror home or does the 1999 House on Haunted Hill stand empty?

     Finally, we can't go a week lately without a little Lillard and Thirteen Ghosts. Reworking the original gimmick in a nice touch but going full nu-metal in every other way possible. Don't throw stones at ghosts in glass houses, they don't like it.
     All that and Kevin sees things man, Dave corrupts youth and innocence, and Tyler does it all for the glory of fap. Join us, won't you?

Episode 168- Better the Second Time Around

Don't Throw Matches in Wax Houses

     Remake Month Continues! Our hive mind grows stronger as without any consultation we decided now is as good a time as any to make up for our shameful shunning of Vincent Price and also celebrate Dark Castle Entertainment...
     First up... a remake of a pre-code film. Vincent Price is a brilliant wax sculptor who repopulates his museum with wax-coated corpses after a tragic fire leaves him unable to work.
     Then... the second remake of the first remake. Paris Hilton refuses to be left behind and evens up with the same number of Price films watched. When a group of... friends? No, that's not right... Enemies? Closer but not quiet it either...  Meddling tropes? That's the one. When a group of meddling tropes shows up at a field to camp before trying to scalp tickets to the game of the year, they get more wax based shenanigans than they bargained for. 
     A double shot of Houses of Wax. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 167- Don't Throw Matches in Wax Houses

 

Flies in the Ointment

     Two parts Mad Science, one part Vincent Price, one part Jeff Goldblum, shake over ice, garnish with some New Flesh and...REMAKE MONTH CONTINUES!!!

     This week a double shot of good intentions brought to ruin by insane self experimentation for giggles. 

     When a man's wife smashed his head in a hydraulic press, there's a lot of explaining to do.

     When you are one for two with imploding baboons, drunkenly testing on yourself is not a normal step in development. 

     Two house flies enter, two monstrosities exit! Why won't mild mannered scientist stop being reckless while standing on the bleeding edge?

     All that and Tyler says a thing that will ruin us all, Kevin likes to watch, and Dave fails to grasp the physics. Join us, won't you?

Episode 166- Flies in the Ointment