Saturday, February 26, 2022

Love Spectrum

     This week a three course shot of amour celebrating less than usual couples.

     Sandra has always had an attraction towards death. While studying to become an embalmer, she begins a torrid affair with Matt, a med student who can't quite grasp why she can't open up to him as she does her dead lovers. Sandra refuses to stop her rigor rides. Matt gets a little overwhelmed. How far will he go to be Kissed?
     A love triangle in The City by the Bay. A tale as old as the invention of the printed circuit board. Boy buys a computer, girl meets boy, computer becomes sapient when champagne is spilled in it, computer romances girl, boy gets credit, computer tries to kill and replace boy. We have all heard this story a thousand times... but this one also has multiple music video breaks. Will the always be together in Electric Dreams?
     While wondering through the worst security hospital in the hemisphere, Danny meets super powered hypnosis killer Byron Volpe and sleeping beauty Laura. So taken by the young woman, Danny decides to kidnap her and keep her as a pet in his totally unprepared apartment where she is sure to slowly starve to death OR, maybe, choke as he tries to shove bran down her snoring throat. Volpe doesn't take kindly to this and soon orchestrates events to a show down crammed with imagery ripped wholesale from dystopian surrealist Beksinski. Will Laura rouse beyond her dream or will her Parasomnia envelop them all?


Saturday, February 19, 2022

Scratched Bark

     This week environmentalism in space and serial killing on Earth.

     The third rock is deforested. All that remains of its plant life and the species dependent on them are stored in massive geodesic domes attached to cargo ships. Word finally comes down that the project is to be abandoned, with all domes destroyed and ships returned to commercial use. Freeman Lowell, resident botanist and ecologist aboard Valley Forge, rebels to save the last dome and with it all that remains of Earth's native plant life. Hoping to hide in the rings of Saturn, Lowell is alone in the dark and Silent Running.
     A serial killer stalks all martial arts masters in the city. Desperate to get out of her assignment to Vice, detective Linda Masterson, played by the tragically misused Cynthia Rothrock, leverages her knowledge of martial arts to get on the case. For reasons, the prime one being his actor fronted much of the money to make the film, her captain decides that she needs the help of another karate cop, Sgt Tarek Richards, played by the less discussed the better Jalal Merhi. Richards soon does a tedious sexism and leaves her in the car while he goes to show off his complete lack of charm and fight skills. Not even Bolo Yeung, stoically shirtless and ready to rumble, can pull this out of the gaping pit of uncharismatic talentless ego driving the scenes. Just why, Tiger Claws?
     All that and Kevin outpaces all, Tyler gets a sprain from fanboy hype, and Dave discovers there's a little Jalal in us all. Join us, won't you?

Episode 245- Scratched Bark


Saturday, February 12, 2022

Gnarly Devil

    This week we cruise while a legion of damned jib to cut us up on the pow.

     John Jaspers was a bad artist until the day his lady was killed by some human smugglers. To get his justice, John sells his soul to M, and starts his short career as Hell's hitman. It isn't long before John is stopped, committed to the care of a beautiful and determined young psychologist, and M comes to complete their deal. Based on an indie comic- Faust: Love of the Damned.
     College student Cole believes he's taking his girlfriend, Kimberly, up to her father's newly purchased ski lodge with a tragic history for a little alone time with naked cuddles and shredding pow. Unfortunately, Kimberly has other plans. Including bringing along all her BBF, her cousin, two pro snowboarders, and a hanger on to film every possible second of rad stomps and zeechy face plants. Unfortunately, there is at least one skier who isn't a fan of snowboarders and will stop at nothing to ensure they follow the rules. Why do I keep expecting Cole to talk about food or break out in song? Who will escape by taking this fresh like a real Shredder?
     All that and Dave becomes a cat, Tyler gets feels, and Kevin gets meta. Join us, won't you?

Episode 244- Gnarly Devil


Saturday, February 5, 2022

Boardingcells

     This week two deeply personal films from multi-hyphenate writer-director-producer-actors. 

     When Jim Royce inherits the mansion of his recently deceased uncle, he does what anyone would and immediately reopens it as a boardinghouse for young, single, female aspiring models and actresses. As the rooms fill up, strange things begin to happen in this mostly happy-ish pseudo-sorority. Will Jim live his harem dreams? Will Victoria's band be signed by a hot record producer? Will Cindy break the cycle of abuse? Will, nay SHOULD, any of them survive the house warming party? The 80s shot on video cult classic- Boardinghouse.
     Ron Decker is sentenced to two years in prison on a drug charge. Before long he finds himself taken under the wing of veteran convict Earl Copen. Copen reviews Decker's case before the 90 day sentence adjustment window closes and help him acclimate to life inside. Will Ron get an early release? Will Copen's influence put him on the tragic path of constant incarceration and release that many suffer? Is Ron even able to rehabilitate? Is all of this just nonsense for the prison industrial complex run amuck? Are we just feeding people to an Animal Factory
     All that and Tyler gets euphoric, Dave walks the dark streets, and Kevin gets his freak on. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 243- Boadingcells