Shocking Lady Farmers Run Amock (sic)

     A German grandmother comes to investigate the murder of her much younger sister, she is swept up in a web of violence, deceit, and celery seduction. A maybe FBI agent, maybe criminal syndicate assassin, definitely beige man-bear learns how to laugh and love. An emotionally damaged girl who will never mentally age passed five and hides a dark secret... sorta... don't expect a lot of sense in Lady Street Fighter.

     What do you get when you mix 9 parts Aliens with three parts Terminator and one part environmental messaging? Bruno Mattei's Shocking Dark (aka Aliens 2 aka Terminator 2 aka Contaminator aka Alienators aka something else I have no doubt).

     Cults, alien keys, rednecks, expanding blood, a glass coffin made of one strip of Plexiglas. Filmed over three weekends with at least one drinking buddy who does a fantastic James Mason impression and an impressive can-do attitude- Invasion of the Blood Farmers.
     Five American students get the trip of their short lifetimes to the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. Unfortunately, there is a Horrible Horror Hag and a whole bunch of robed cultists are waiting for them as one is destined to become the virgin bride of Satan.      Teenage pettiness, birth marks, fairly impressive gore, and a really nice basement train set are all set to send you Beyond the Door III (aka Amock Train).
     A quad-barrel of Craig chosen cheese to the chest. Please enjoy, while we spend some times licking our wounds, won't you?

Episode 147- Shocking Lady Farmers Run Amock (sic)

Spartacus Slabbed

     This week it doesn't matter which route you choose, both lead to an express train of pain! CHOO CHOO, BABY!!!
     When a group of astronauts return from a 40 year mission in deep space they find the Earth is ruled mercilessly by alien overlords. These Mantis Masters culinary tastes run to only two flavors- nicely milled lumber and human heads. Will our deep space cadets stoke the embers of freedom lying in every human heart, will the terrible termites Alien Apocalypsebe inevitable? Doesn't matter, it made Tyler cry.

     A pair of teens find some very well maintained abandoned tunnels under a decently maintained abandoned hospital... which has an owner who seems content to do minor repairs and keep the electricity on which is very thoughtful. Waiting in the well lit and fairly clean space is the Deadgirl. Which they immediately rape. Will the boys be caught? Will anything actually semi rational happen in the run time? Doesn't matter, it made Dave weep.
     All that and Kevin flaunts his classy bunker, Dave fixes the holes in his slightly used hermetic tent with duct tape, and Tyler guards his new pandemic love doll from his dog. Join us, won't you?

Episode 145- Spartacus Slabbed

You Spinell Me Right Round

This week an accidental double dip of Spinell! That's almost one and one tenth more Spinell than can reasonably be handled! One more... SPINELL!!!!!
William Lustig's transition from porn to slasher! I know that's not a big leap according to some... What happens when you toss a serial killer, a bunch of mannequins, a beautiful photographer, and one of the best head shots in film history? Maniac- 88 sweaty, sticky, grimy, and still wonderful minutes that paved the way for Henry and many more.

Friedkin's New Hollywood swan song, the last of the gritty and mean 70s cinema, a final hurrah at the birth of what would evolve into modern Hollywood... a remake of Wages of Fear. Four men, all on the run and laying low in a sweltering South American backwater, are drafted to deliver two trucks full of old dynamite. One jolt could set off the sweating nitroglycerin needed to put out an oil fire 218 miles away. Does Sorcerer have the magic to make the trip?

All that AND Kevin hunted wild filmmakers at Frightfest, Tyler releases his pet Mandalorian back into the Disney World swamp, and Dave has no idea where he is or who any of you are and get the hell off his lawn. Join us, won't you?

Episode 145- You Spinell Me Right Round

Songs in the Key of Bleck

     This week the triumphant return of two instead becomes the same knuckleheads being forced to endure...

     Tommy- Ken Russell's adaption of The Who's concept album. It's full of people who don't sing doing their best and people who do sing doing not their best. While also being a low key version of the movie Russell really wanted to make.

     The Apple- take two producers trying to break into Hollywood, a misdiagnoses guess at the next big trend, a heavy dollop of biblical stuff, and film it in Western Berlin. This is what you will get 99 times out of 100...

     All that and Kevin accidentally destabilizes time and space, Tyler feels a hate that is unusual for him, and Dave suffers for all your souls. Join us, won't you?

EPISODE 144- Songs in the Key of Bleck

Arty Arty Oxen Free

This week we go full head up the rump and wrestle with some art films. Masterpieces of moving images... at least that is what we were told.
First, we dig into the film that is widely accepted as gateway Buñuel. We gaze deeply into the inner... uh... somethings of people who like to dinner party. Their failures and dreams lead to total confusion over The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

What do you get when you combine a novella from the father of cyberpunk, one of cinema's most fiercely independent voices, and two of the greatest character actors of their generation? I don't know but there's a close approximation with New Rose Hotel.

Peter Greenaway's The Pillow Book is a tale of revenge wrapped over a technical exercise inspired by a classic book that has thrived over the last thousand years. 

Finally, one of the silent era's most brilliant voices plays with composition and sound, shadows and multiple languages combine with horror and mystery inspired by the pen of Sheridan Le Fanu in Vampyr.
All that and Dave has a rant, Tyler is overwhelmed by the beauty, Kevin marches to the beat of his own sensory deprivation chamber, and in the shadows a grand scheme is being hatched. Join us, won't you?

Episode 143- Arty Arty Oxen Free

Salem's Cocktail

     We take a detour through King country up in Maine and spend three hours mostly just staring at an old house. I guess it's creepy... but not enough to explain a writer's obsession. Right, there are 1970s TV vampires there. Tobe Hooper too. We get lost in Salem's Lot.

     Then we again take a long hard look at teenagers and camming and coming of age and lesbians and oddly forthright stunted waitresses and hooking and first world problems of the kind only Netflix execs truly understand all shook up in a Teenage Cocktail.

     All that AND Dave watches another King adaption, Chris laughs without joy, Tyler strikes another off his top 2000, and Kevin keeps stalking everyone else in a blue box. Join us, won't you?

Episode 142- Salem's Cocktail

Blood on Tape

     Joined by intrepid guest Lucas, the crew takes a the sights of a 1970s art film and a South Korean-Japanese co-production that totally overlooks the countries complicated and brutal history with each other.

     The only Bill Gunn film to get any kind of release before being quickly pulled and butchered by opportunistic distributors who had zero concept of the beauty they held. When an ancient dagger gives Dr Hess Greene a bad case of blood addiction, he takes pretty well to his new life until the estranged wife of a former associate enters his life. A brilliant meditation on cultural imperialism, African American assimilation, addiction, social structures, and more than a passing eye at organized religion... it's not a surprise that it didn't take off even at the height of New Hollywood. Bill Gunn lays so much of his soul bear through Ganja & Hess.

     Seventeen years ago two children saw their friend run over by a car speeding around a blind turn. Today one of them is killing people in an effort to resurrect their dead friend on the orders of an unknown god. Deciding an article written by his fellow witness is the sign he has been waiting for, he lures her and a cameraman to an abandoned apartment building to witness his last two murders and an act of true love.  J-horror vet Kōji Shiraishi, better known for more fantastical monstrous women, delivers something far more grounded and brutal with A Sweet Record of Murder.

     All that and Lucas thinks six moves ahead, Tyler stumbles into a trap fully unaware, Dave doesn't get it, and Kevin sees his tentacled Elder God master in the gaps between time and space. Join us, won't you?

Episode 141- Blood on Tape