The Chickens, The Cats, Some T-Birds, and a Rat

     This week we bring 2020 to a close and embrace the warmth of the holidays with that genre that says togetherness like no other... Musicals. Four screeching pitchy nightmare visions of the hell that is 2021 awaiting us all... or not.

     Memories. Of a musical loved by children. A fun and high enery show that familes can love. Turned to creepy. With Dutch ang...les... Every cg face can be a terrifying vision. They don't stay on and Tom Hooper is crying. We saw Cats! It's so easy to flee screaming... 
Okay. Maybe that doesn't work to the tune of Memory.
     The first collaboration between the House of Mouse and the Studio Apartment of Mayhem. A script that blends a classic of English holiday literature with the merry mayhem only Henson can provide, with a strong script and songs that will stay with you for decades... Does it get much better than The Muppet Christmas Carol? 
     Dolly Parton. What else can anyone ask for? Okay, fine. There's also a little Burt Reynolds and a tiny bit of Jim Nabors and a fleeting glimpse of Charles Durning. All together in a Lone Star shaped romp of sex and football and fake news and politics and minor acts of gross use of force and intimidation. It's not some third rate flop, it's The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
     The Next Generation rises to take the reigns from the legends that came before. Supported by a gaggle of legends from the Golden Era. Does it sink or swim? Is there any gas left in Grease 2?

     All that and Anna drinks enough to make the others tolerable company, Kevin plans a heist the likes of which has only come from a Micklewhite, Dave goes full Santa, and Tyler puts lumps of coal in his underoos for maximum pleasure. Join us, won't you?

Episode 185- The Chickens, The Cats, Some T-Birds, and a Rat

Cowabunga-ed in Carbonite

     In the penultimate episode of 2020 we go to two happy places.

     Long long ago in a galaxy far far away, a group of people where chilling, literally, on an ice planet when the evil Empire found them and kicked off a whole bunch of problems for the second to last Jedi, his secret sister, her smuggler lover, his hairy life partner, and their sentient android slaves. Yeah, that's bad but it's The Empire Strikes Back. Hard to find new ways to describe it.
     Long long ago in a city on the East Coast, four teenage ninjas had just taken out the vicious leader of a criminal gang driving the worst petty crime wave in history. Unfortunately, their rest and celebration is cut short as their enemies return thirsty of mutated revenge shenanigans. Also Vanilla Ice is there... what will be revealed by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze?
     All that and Kevin had higher highs and lower lows, Dave does Santa right, and Tyler loves like a loving lover who loves. Join us, won't you?

Episode 184- Cowabunga-ed in Carbonite

Of Gulls and Steel

     This week two tales of men and obsession.

     When a storm turns a four week temp job into an endless nightmare beans get spilled and so does some blood. Is it a brilliant work of art about humanity's most base self or a lot of bright light and fury signifying nothing? Either way there a whole lot to unpack in you take a job at The Lighthouse.

     A train carrying $400 thousand gets robbed by the best led gang in the West. Unfortunately, they get really greedy and steal a gift for the American president and murder one of it's samurai guards. Now an unlikely pair are thrown together on a quest of redemption and revenge. Three of the coolest actors of all time join forces to face the Red Sun.

     All that and Dave remembers, Kevin gets Christmasy, and Tyler suffers for art. Join us, won't you?

Episode 183- Of Gulls and Steel

 

I Know Who Joyrode Me

     This week- two tales of youth in over their heads and at the mercy of corrupt officials.

     Jason and Midget are avid participants in Newark's most popular sport- joyriding. One day they pick the wrong car to an evening drive. Owned by a police officer who will stop at nothing to clear himself in the wrongful shooting of a neighborhood kid. Beware the traffic through a New Jersey Drive.

     The town of New Salem has a predator among its sleepy inhabitants. Terrible pianist and aspiring writer of dinosaur Kindle erotica, Aubrey Fleming, disappears one night after a football game. Days later she is found in a ditch horrifically missing limbs. When she wakes up in the hospital she reveals another shock, that she isn't Aubrey but down-on-her-luck stripper Dakota Moss. Is Dakota her mind protecting her from trauma? Is she really not Aubrey and if so where is the town's favorite fanfic author? All this and more will be revealed, mush to everyone's dismay, as soon as Dakota says I Know Who Killed Me.

     All that and Dave survives another November marathon, Kevin likes to watch, and Tyler does terrible things to himself in the name of art. Join us, won't you? 

Episode 182- I Know Who Joyrode Me

Can You Read Title Cards?

 
   This week three disembodied voices discuss devoiced bodies. 

     A classic that launched 31 years of monster movies. A benchmark performance in the genre which looms just as large 91 years later. The first of a billion chandelier drops. Lon Chaney and company transform one of literature's most absurd characters into a haunting legend that overshadows its source. Read that strange duet with The Phantom of the Opera.

     A permanently smiling clown, desperate for love that he fells he can never deserve, is elevated to the halls of power in an adaption of Victor Hugo's melodrama. The last glorious blast of German expressionism which casts almost as long a shadow over the Universal Monsters as Phantom. Bolstered by one of the most sensitive performances ever filmed. Tragically, they did remove his brutal takedown of English government... The Man Who Laughs.

     The first film of one of the world's most popular characters. Starring by the first man to ever play the part and brought many of the staple to him that the author never envisioned before. Lost for nearly a century. William Gillette kept Sherlock Holmes viable and popular while Doyle desperately tried to forget him. 1916's Sherlock Holmes.

     A commentary on the conditions people face because of modernization. A tedious, lazy, and completely out of touch satire that set the stage for so many luddite arguments to follow. Considered by some his magnum opus despite yet another fair and featureless heroine and a total lack of points to make besides old rich man thinks progress is bad, Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times. Don't worry, not all of us hated it.
All that AND Dave shares the pain, Tyler embraces love, and Kevin plots revenge. Join us, won't you?

Episode 181- Can You Read Title Cards?

Doctor Say Stalk You Out

     This week the world's most popular actor, an emotionally distant cop, a  heart damaged teen, and no more mister nice doctor. 

     Everyone loves Nick Lang and his fun box office powerhouse adventure films. Nick has grown desperate to be taken seriously as an actor. In order to get deep inside a gritty cop, he arranges to tag along with NYPD lieutenant John Moss. Moss is obsessed with catching a killer called "Party Crasher". Wackiness ensues, lessons are learned, and an amazing supporting cast is wasted The Hard Way.
     Because her boyfriend can't stop texting and driving, Sophie Green is in yet another accident. Tragically, this time her broken rib pierces her heart and requires immediate surgery. Fortunately, she by chance gets the best heart surgeon and  specialist in the world, Dr. Albert Beck. Beck's specialty is really a reflection of his desperation to be loved... and he really wants to be loved by Sophie. Too bad he comes on way too strong because he's a big creep and overwhelmingly gross in his desire to lick her in public... which is still step up from her father and boyfriend but let's not unpack that right now. Your broken heart might never get proper medical attention if you are Stalked by My Doctor.

     Also Dave gets a new toy, Kevin chokes on his jealousy, and Tyler curates the fourth largest collection of porn gifs. Join us, won't you?

Episode 180- Doctor Say Stalk You Out

City of Mant

     This week a pair of celebrations of cinema from two very different perspectives. 

     Key West, the Cuban Missile Crisis, teen hormones going crazy from the heat when the fourth greatest showman in the world, Lawrence Woolsey, rolls into town to exhibit his newest masterpiece of radioactive horror! THRILL! as the Greatest Movie within a Movie is Unveiled Before Your Eyes! Witness!! the Terrifying Power of Rumble-Rama!! BEHOLD!!! the Simmering Passions of a People Enthralled by Terror!!! RotP Proudly Presents a Celebration of B-Movie Spirit.... MATINEE!
     People once believed that when a movie died, a Producer carried to the land of the dead. But some times, something makes so much money that a terrible sadness is carried with it, and the Producers can't rest. Then often, far too often, the Producers bring that movie back and put the right things wrong. The sequel to one of the decade's longest shadowed films. A lead who can't emote in English or fight. A villain who seems to have been ripped out of a different movie entirely. The lovely Mia Kirshner in daily fetish wear... THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS.
     All that plus Dave endures, Kevin likes to watch, and Tyler rolls in a tub of vegan Jell-o. Join us, won't you?

Episode 179- City of Mant

Holy Fist

      This week two classics of their genres. Two films from lands outside of Hollywood. Two titans whose shadows cast long over the valley of film and solidified their creators as masters. Two films with endless monologues about nothing pretending to be insightful...

     One of the most famous Mexican films ever produced. Headed by a massively multi-hyphenate, writer-director-composer-editor-set designer-costume designer-star, Alejandro Jodorowsky. All the esoteric you can handle and a heaping helping of exploding frogs. Can he lead the worst people on Earth to the enlightenment waiting atop The Holy Mountain?

     What happens when a TV series based on a manga takes all the violence they can't show on broadcast and rearranges it for theatrical distribution to get their gore on? Possibly the best post-apocalyptic action film to not feature anyone named Max or Carradine. When Ken is left for dead after being betrayed by his best friend and all the others he called brothers, he goes on a quest to clean the wastes and rescue his kidnapped lover, Julia. The legend, the myth, the seventh goriest film we have watched... Fist of the North Star.
     All that AND Dave finally breaks, Tyler reveals his secret plans, and Kevin finally pops that balloon. Join us, won't you?

EPISODE 178- Holy Fist

Halloween- Timeline Turmoil

 Drawing October to a close with the final five nights He came home.

After falling down a well last year, Michael Myers finds himself fully recovered and tries to take custody of his traumatized niece. He finds all of the town once again standing against him. Will he finally get The Revenge of Michael Myers?

While trying to bring home a troubled teen, Michael finds himself having to deal with an obsessed Tommy Doyle and a new generation of Strodes. Fortunately, this time he has some help from a druidic cult. Unfortunately, Dr. Loomis is trying his best to bring about The Curse of Michael Myers.

Timeline 2!!!!

Laurie did not have a daughter and did not die in a car accident in 1980. Instead she faked her death, spent the last 18 years living under an assumed named, and has been teaching English at a rich kids prep school while raising a son. A son who has just turned 17... the same age Laurie was when Michael appeared... the same age Judith was when she met her tragic end. Will Michael finally find the loving relative he has craved or will he have to wait for H20: 20 Years Later again?

Three years after failing to make amends, Michael goes home to try and find comfort as he mourns Laurie, who died in a mental care facility after murdering a poor EMT who tried to help Michael. Unfortunately, Haddonfield refuses to not torment him. Finding his home overrun with college kids competing in a new streaming reality show. No matter how hard you try to run the past is always waiting for Resurrection. 

Timeline 3!
The Darkest Timeline... the Rob Zombie Timeline!!!!! If you want to hear out thoughts you will have to go all the way back to 2017 and listen to episode 23, Popstars Go to Haddonfield.
Timeline 4- Current until inevitable 2025 reboot!
40 years after meeting Michael Myers, Laurie Strode has been planning and preparing. Tragically, her innate survival instinct has been a wedge between her and her family. Fortunately, she was right to listen to herself as 62-year old Michael has escaped from his incarceration and is roaming the streets of Haddonfield... in obvious need of assistance because dude keeps walking into the wrong homes and has no idea where or who he is. Let's Halloween (2018) again.

Episode 177- Halloween Timeline Turmoil

Halloween: 3 Hard Mikes and A Drunk Doctor

     October Horror gathers speed as we crash through the first four films in the Halloween franchise!

    After fifteen years in an asylum, Michael Myers decides its time to take a small walk around his hometown and take in the decorations on Halloween.
    Michael walks to the local hospital, after wounds received earlier that evening, and doesn't receive anything resembling quality care in Halloween II.

    A doctor with a drinking problem and sexual addiction has a breakdown and imagines a ridiculous conspiracy involving the better masks his ex bought for the children he emotionally abuses due to his never ending midlife crisis... or not. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.

    Finally Mike wakes up from a decade long coma inflicted on him by an obsessed doctor in his last appearance. He decides to go home and try to forge a relationship with his only remaining living relative. Unfortunately, the niece's adoptive sister decides she can't share her with anyone in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. 

    All that and the existential dread the rest of the series conjures gnaws away at the crew. Join us, won't you?

Episode 178- Halloween: 3 Hard Mikes and A Drunk Doctor

Taste the Rainbow

      October Horror continues as we are joined by Christianne Benedict to take a look at four LGBTQIA+ themed films.

    Paris in the summer of 1979. Anne, a director of gay pornographic films, is left by her editor and girlfriend, Lois. While Anne struggles with this, her actors begin being murdered by a mysterious leather clad person with a grudge. Will Anne finish her magnum opus, Homocide, before she stands alone? Will she and Lois find closure? What is the deal with the mystical bird? There might be answers in Knife + Heart.

    Brad and Janet, a pair of young loving lovers who love, are so excited for their engagement they decide they have to visit the professor whose class they first met during. A minor bit of bad luck, during a torrential storm, brings them to the castle of Dr. Frank-N-Furter. This night will be one of tests and awakenings as the vanilla couple are shown such sights. All with some really upbeat music and one of film's most charismatic performances ever. Are you trembling with anticip................ation for The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

    Just a little movie about Jack & Diane, two American kids doing the best that they can. Okay, part of that is a lie. A movie about the least realistic young lesbian relationship ever put to film. It's a strong claim but I still don't get why they are a thing. Also features some burgeoning young desire as lycanthropy thing crammed in. You know, it's just a bad movie. Seriously, why did anyone give these people money? Listen to us eviscerate it because that's all it's good for. Or maybe it's a modern classic? Probably not.

    Gunnar and Einar's relationship is over. One has moved on and the other has secluded himself in a cabin out in the middle of Iceland's beautiful but cold pastures. A drunken phone call brings them back together to deal with the ghosts of their past inside and the ghosts haunting the lava fields outside. Can closure be found? Is the emotional momentum of a relationship worth the toll when it's ripped away? Can anything put the ghosts of your past to rest? Is there any way to heal a Rift (Rökkur)?

Episode 175- Taste the Rainbow

Hungry Captive Homicidal Sacrificed Vampire Women In The Celluloid Jungle

     OCTOBER HORROR WEEK 2! This week we celebrate women directors in the genre with a five pack of scary flicks.

    The 1980s, trendy restaurants, shallow associates, the stress of keeping up appearances, and over the top murder. Life is difficult for Mary Harron's spree killing investment banker and all around American Psycho.

    A coward sent to a post in exile will soon learn of new dietary regimen that grants remarkable powers and incredible health benefits but comes with a heavy price. The inhabitants of Antonia Bird's fort aren't just peckish but totally Ravenous.

    A serial killing taxi driver takes in a new pet. As the years pass he decides to mold the child into being his protégée. Will Rabbit follow this dark path or will he find salvation from Jennifer Lynch's Chained nightmares?

    Unfairly maligned on release but recently receiving a complete reassessment, Karyn Kusama's dark comedy in finding a very receptive cult. Taking initiative at a gig in a small town, a mediocre band sacrifices Needy's best friend to the legions of Hell. Things take a turn when she reappears with a craving for male classmates. What is Needy to do with Jennifer's Body?

    One of the best vampire films ever made. Caleb discovers the night life when his too aggressive flirting gets him a small neck wound. Taken by a group of nomadic killers, with his father and younger sister on their trail, and forced to choose between love and eternal night or a worse fate. Kathryn Bigelow shows us what happens Near Dark. 

    All that and Kevin schemes, Tyler gets hyped, Dave has senile lapses, and Anna finally uncovers the true mystery hiding in this idyllic town. Join us, won't you?

Episode 174- Hungry Captive Homicidal Sacrificed Vampire Women In The Celluloid Jungle

Second Time Around

     We kick off October with a four pack of sequels.
    After surviving a night of demon attacking in the possessed bodies of his friends at a lonely cabin in the woods, Ash Williams emerges, triumphant, out into the light of day. Tragically, for him anyway, that's just the first 7 minutes of the first sequel in a franchise that will still be going, in various media, for the next 40 year. Can Ash hold off Evil Dead 2 or will he be dead by dawn?

    What happens when you like puns, have Google to quick search references, and think your cat is WAY cuter than she actually is? You make a film series about her misadventures. Duh. Behold a thing that only Kevin and the most cat obsessed corners of the meowiverse could love. Is there no end from the torment brought by A Meowy Halloween?

    Courtney Bates, preteen survivor without a Southern accent, was so traumatized by the events of the first film that she stopped growing vertically, affected an accent, and started the fourth worst band in film. Which seems like a fair enough way to deal with trauma until the band goes for a weekend getaway and Courtney's demons are made flesh. Behold the wonder of The Driller Killer in Slumber Party Massacre II.

    One of the darlings of the 2000s torture porn era, possibly Eli Roth's magnum opus, and nearly a solid indictment of toxic masculinity. When three friends studying art in Italy decide to hop a train to go clubbing in Prague, they find themselves off the beaten path, and in a very deadly manifestation of class warfare. Beautifully filmed and strongly cast, with at least one stand out scene that has forever burned itself in the minds of genre fans, try not to take a nap during Hostel: Part II.

    All that and Craig ponders how long until he and his dogs start merging into a single being, Kevin and Dave face off over a new streaming offering, and Tyler gleefully does his thing with an innocence that you just can't stay mad at... Join us, won't you?

Episode 173- Second Time Around

T Viral Load

     We bring September to a close with four selections curated by our favorite stair humping deviant. 

     Flashback to 1995, a young Tyler begins to full embrace his inner T at a tender age. What prompts this? His blinding love for a furtive viewing of Larry Clark's Kids. A group of teens don't really do much one day in NYC. By the way, two have HIV and one is plotting on trying to unknowingly spread it. 

     Stay in the decade of sad lumberjack costumed musicians and bare witness to the rise of Leo as an unfilmable memoir does its best to be filmed. A bright young athlete, still in NYC, throws it all away in a vicious and brutal spiral of addiction all told with flourishes of real painful teenage poetry scribbled in The Basketball Diaries.

     Two strong performances anchor the most realistic depiction of a BDSM relationship in a wide release film. Sometimes pain can be healing when applied by the right hand... directly to the buttock of your Secretary.
     Four blanks in the form of college girls, a few robberies, lots of shots of regular people partying, a staggering performance of a very specific parody, endless beautiful shots... is it art? Is it actually saying anything that is worth hearing? Does it matter? Spring Breakers forever!

     All that and Kevin ruminated on the meaning of life, Tyler fights against his inability to continue ignoring the aging process, and Dave gazes into the void that is himself. Join us, won't you?

Episode 172- T Viral Load

Of Lionhearts and Camgirls

      This week a double feature of cult proportions. 

     A camgirl has a breakdown just as she is offered an opportunity from an unknown benefactor. Taking initiative, she jumps right out to California and it all goes down from there. Is it a psychological character study with a detailed and subtle lead performance or a very cheap and boring porn with acting that is embarrassing even for a porn parody? Either way we definitely saw some Portraits of Andrea Palmer.
     A legend of the stage is spurred by snobby critics and tragically takes his own life... or did he? Is this the great thespian risen or is someone else cutting the reviewers down to size? Can you have too make Shakespeare references in one movie? We took our seats in the Theatre of Blood.
     All that and Tyler gets pumped, Anna sees two of the greatest horror movies the way God or Sam Raimi (whichever) intended, Kevin continues to have a flourishing social life, and Dave tries not to digress and fails. Join us, won't you?

Episode 171- Of Lionhearts and Camgirls

Revenge Wires

     This week- two men on missions of redemption, both with accents Dave can't understand. 

     After a nice long prison term, Di is summoned to find out just how a bunch of government drones are being burned from the inside out before the coronation of Empress Wu. Based on one of the most significant detective novels of all time and with fights choreographed by the brilliant Sammo Hung, Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame (Di renjie: Tong tian di gou)has an impressive pedigree that it would take some massive bungling to mess up... 
     Finally coming home after his time in the Army, Richard has a little business to clear up with his brother's friends. Arguably Shane Meadows' best work to date and with a powerhouse performance by the great Paddy Considine, Dead Man's Shoes is a heart-wrenching tale of revenge and guilt. 

     All that and Kevin gets smug in his better choices, Tyler demanded all his best lines be removed, and Dave idly runs a fork around an outlet. Join us, won't you?

EPISODE 170- REVENGE WIRES

Chained Mystery

     This week things return to normal with another strange double feature.
     What happens when an old beloved franchise takes a decade in development with an up and coming screenwriter, a cast that is nearly perfect, one of the worst directors of all time, and a studio that gets cold feet just before production? Scooby-Doo! In their first live action outing, the gang goes to Spooky Island to find out just what is happening to make the young people with attitudes leave as upstanding super strong citizens. 

     Remember when Samuel L Jackson actually acted? Remember when Christina Ricci wasn't just doing semi-horror bio pics for Lifetime? RotP remembers... we celebrate those days with Black Snake Moan. What else is an old poor farmer in the deep South supposed to do when he finds an unconscious nymphomaniac in a ditch except take her home and chain her to the radiator?

     All that AND Tyler reveals the first of four landings on The Staircase to Tylerdom, Dave tries to get others to better appreciate an animated series, Kevin just doesn't have time for either of their shit. Join us, won't you?

Episode 169- Chained Mystery

Better the Second Time Around

     We draw remake month to a close the only way we know how, by asking the age old question, is the remake ever better? Well, yeah, sometimes but what about these four examples? MAYBE! 

     We skinny dip through the last film before John McTiernan lost his shit to paranoia... The Thomas Crown Affair. Can the 90s make work a daring heist film about a bored billionaire work better than the 60s original about a bored millionaire? 
     Can people eating fish really improve on another try? Does dipping it in meta and gleeful nudity soaked in gore bring it to a new edge? Or do Piranha 3D lose their teeth?

     Can you really out Vincent Price Vincent Price? Does making it less Scooby-Doo and more Ghostbusters actually bring the terror home or does the 1999 House on Haunted Hill stand empty?

     Finally, we can't go a week lately without a little Lillard and Thirteen Ghosts. Reworking the original gimmick in a nice touch but going full nu-metal in every other way possible. Don't throw stones at ghosts in glass houses, they don't like it.
     All that and Kevin sees things man, Dave corrupts youth and innocence, and Tyler does it all for the glory of fap. Join us, won't you?

Episode 168- Better the Second Time Around

Don't Throw Matches in Wax Houses

     Remake Month Continues! Our hive mind grows stronger as without any consultation we decided now is as good a time as any to make up for our shameful shunning of Vincent Price and also celebrate Dark Castle Entertainment...
     First up... a remake of a pre-code film. Vincent Price is a brilliant wax sculptor who repopulates his museum with wax-coated corpses after a tragic fire leaves him unable to work.
     Then... the second remake of the first remake. Paris Hilton refuses to be left behind and evens up with the same number of Price films watched. When a group of... friends? No, that's not right... Enemies? Closer but not quiet it either...  Meddling tropes? That's the one. When a group of meddling tropes shows up at a field to camp before trying to scalp tickets to the game of the year, they get more wax based shenanigans than they bargained for. 
     A double shot of Houses of Wax. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 167- Don't Throw Matches in Wax Houses

 

Flies in the Ointment

     Two parts Mad Science, one part Vincent Price, one part Jeff Goldblum, shake over ice, garnish with some New Flesh and...REMAKE MONTH CONTINUES!!!

     This week a double shot of good intentions brought to ruin by insane self experimentation for giggles. 

     When a man's wife smashed his head in a hydraulic press, there's a lot of explaining to do.

     When you are one for two with imploding baboons, drunkenly testing on yourself is not a normal step in development. 

     Two house flies enter, two monstrosities exit! Why won't mild mannered scientist stop being reckless while standing on the bleeding edge?

     All that and Tyler says a thing that will ruin us all, Kevin likes to watch, and Dave fails to grasp the physics. Join us, won't you?

Episode 166- Flies in the Ointment

Do Not Forsake Me

     Remake Month rolls along with a two pack of men doing what they feel is right, despite everyone around them telling them to walk away...

     Gary Cooper puts to bed the cowboy archetype he had created 23 years earlier in The Virginian. Marshal Will Kane has just married and left his the job. Tragically, as soon as his gun and star are placed on the desk, word arrives that the outlaw who once held the town in his control has been released and is coming for Kane. Covered in controversy at release, one of the first films entered into the United States National Film Registry, a constant source of endless inspiration for so much that followed it. 

     Sean Connery picks up a trucker hat and shotgun to enforce new frontier justice. Federal Marshal William O'Neil is assigned to a mining outpost on the Jovian moon Io. The environment is unforgiving, the conditions are brutal, the work is hard, the shifts are long... but the pay is significant. All productivity records are shattered under the current management. Everything appears to be going as well as possible... until the miners begin to have violent, delusional, psychotic episodes. As O'Neil begins to investigate, who will stand with him when he could hurt their profit? The first film to use Introvision, a front-projection technique which allows effect elements to be combined in camera, that would be the industry standard until the adoption of digital compositing.

     This week High Noon and its spiritual offspring thematic remake Outland. Join us, won't you?

Episode 165- Do Not Forsake Me, O Space Darlin'

Concrete Playground

     This week we kick off Remake Month with a documentary and it's fictionalized offspring.
Stacy Peralta shines the light on the group, which he was a part of as well, which changed the sport forever with the invention of slide and aerial skateboarding. Tons of  vintage footage and contemporary interviews bring immediacy to Dogtown and Z-Boys.

     Peralta didn't stop there, writing the screenplay for the film version. When a skate shop owner sees the value in newly created polyurethane wheels, a group of young people from the rough side of town will get their chance at fame, fortune, and escape but first they will be Lords of Dogtown.
     Join us, won't you?

Episode 164- Remake Month: Concrete Playground

Cravenly

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Bad Gary Judge Bubby

     This week a rogue selection brings PET.... JUST-ICE! and a normal pick plumbs the depths of psychological mental abuse in the way only Australia can.

     Having been kept his whole life in a room with only his mother and Jesus for company, convinced the outside world is poison, he is totally unprepared to be tossed out into the wide world. But that's the consequence for being a Bad Boy Bubby.

     Delivering justice for domesticated furry friends as only he can... with surreal asides and dives towards the edge of madness that is built on strong emotions of love and anger. Gary Busey: Pet Judge 

     All that and Craig asks the big questions about the nature of man, Tyler decides that there is no true justice, Kevin wonders if the social agreements that we call justice will ever reach a point of the fairness and equality that we like to pretend it has, and Dave forgets which sewer he left his third secret family in. Join us, won't you?

Episode 161- Bad Gary Judge Bubby

She's All Matt

     Everything's coming up Tyler as we dive into two films he deeply loves. Because we might hate ourselves a little.

     A late 90s teenage romantic comedy that makes eyes at being self-aware and having something to say but then dodges all of that by embracing the tropes without hesitation or thought. It's possible She's All That but the movie probably isn't.

     The second feature from a director of singular vision. In a world where the elite are safe on a space station and everyone else lives in a Mad Maxclone if it was made by Paul Schrader, a lone white guy will rise up to save the day for all the... you know... I get it means well but there's some problematic shit here. Movies like this thinking they are saying something is why humanity will never run the fields of Elysium.
     All that and Dave weeps again, Tyler tries to convert you to his doomsday cult, Kevin takes up dance instruction for seniors, and Craig gleefully plots against us all. Join us, won't you?

Episode 161- She's All Matt

Murder Most Fowl

     This week the return of a prolific auteur and Disney's latest butchery of a beloved modern YA classic.

     Travel back with us to 1989 when David  DeCoteau had a still nice but much smaller house. The days when he would invite scream queens and their friends over to make movies in a weekend. Okay, he still totally does that but this is before he found his true niche. It doesn't make a lot of sense how Lyle Waggoner is there. Help us try to find the why of Murder Weapon.

     The House of the Mouse has a long history of buying and then completely messing up well loved and known YA properties. After the ear fucking they gave Ella Enchanted trying to make it Shrek and the long weekend they kept Percy Jackson and the Olympians locked in Goofy's sex dungeon until poor Percy lost all sense of self and tried desperately to be "Harry Potter Jr"... they finally unleash their version of Artemis Fowl. SPOILERS- Your kid will hate you for making them watch it and you will hate yourself for having Disney+.... remember when everyone loved that Baby Yoda and thought signing their life away to Mickey was the best idea ever? 

     All that and Kevin lets his classy habits go to his head, Tyler makes his own private oasis in Idaho, Dave wonders what sin against her agent could Judi Dench possibly have committed, and Craig finally gets a Texas catheter. Join us, won't you?

Episode 160- Murder Most Fowl

Five by Spike Lee

     This week we pay tribute to one of the greatest filmmakers of all time, Spike Lee. Always bold, never subtle, often brilliant with a command of visual language that is unmatched. 

     Jungle Fever takes a look at an interracial affair and the ripples it creates in the lives of all those around them, including a breakout performance by Samuel L Jackson. Flipper Purify is a successful architect and happily married with a young daughter. When his firm hires Angie Tucci as a temp to be his secretary... one late night at the office they start a tumultuous relationship.

     Crooklyn is a casually plotted but deeply personal semi-autobiographical tale in the summer of 1973. 9 year-old Troy Carmichael learns some hard lessons from her tough mother, naive father, and rowdy siblings.  The project originated as a television pilot and was co-written by two of Lee's siblings.

     He Got Game takes a hard look at sports culture, its inherent predatory exploitation, father-son dynamics, and acceptance of on'es past. Jesus Shuttlesworth is the top prospect in the country. His father, Jake Shuttlesworth, is given a week out of prison and the promise of possible early release if he can convince his son to sign a letter of intent to the governor's alma matter.

     Da Sweet Blood of Jesus is a remake of Bill Gunn's Ganja and Hess shifts the focus more on religion. Wealthy anthropologist and art collector Dr Hess Green is stabbed with an ancient African dagger by his assistant and becomes addicted to blood. As he settles into his new situation, his assistant's ex-wife decides to drop in. 

     Da 5 Bloods explores the complicated relationship between African-American soldiers and the military, the lasting effects for both sides that continue, and PTSD. An African-American squad from the US Army 1st Infantry Division secure a crashed CIA plane and it's cargo- a locker full of gold bars to be used as payment for the Lahu people. Deciding that the gold is as much rightfully theirs as anyone's the squad bury their treasure, only to lose it and their leader in the ensuing counter attack and napalm strike. Years later the surviving members return to search the recently rediscovered area. 

Join us, won't you?

Episode 159- Five by Spike Lee

Auteurist Openings

     This week- the first films from a pair of visionary directors. 

     John Singleton wrote and directed a film that would serve as the blueprint for a whole genre the 30 years since its release. Filled with amazingly naturalistic performances, assured direction, and made with an honesty that is still rare in studio films. Boyz n the Hood set a lasting mark on film.
     Melina Matsoukas created some of the best music videos the medium has ever offered. After years working in that area, she made her feature debut with Queen & Slim. A beautifully acted, amazingly filmed, and perfectly scored story of a couple who are forced to go on the run after accidentally killing a cop. It ranks with the best of the decade and is easily the best film of 2019.

     All that and Craig ghosts, Tyler might have gotten a little too excited, Dave overflows with love, and Kevin readiest himself for a showdown in the Punderdome. Join us, won't you?

Episode 158- Auteruist Openings

Fastened Nitroglycerin

     Michael Jai White's blaxploitation parody/homage is as upper echelon as the genre is capable. A film that should be spoken of in comedy film groups with the same reverent tones as anything by ZAZ or Guest. The hard hitting, endlessly quotable, strange science, never interrupt his kung fu... I should really put a rhyme here- Black Dynamite

     The second directorial work from Jordan Peele. What if there are clones of everyone underground, somehow psychically linked to you? What if one day they decided to kill you and take your place? Great performances and very important themes but is it enough for Us?
     All that and Dave deep dives but only shallow discusses, Tyler runs out of flavor comparisons, and Kevin finally gets corporeal. Join us, won't you?

Episode 157- Fastened Nitroglycerin

Beautiful Seizures

     This week a live action video game that might have a message and a masterpiece of animation that very much does. 

     First they brought you Crank and Crank 2 and then a bunch of movies everyone, except Tyler, has forgotten about. In the not-so-distant future people can use other living breathing people as their video game flesh puppet avatars in the two most expensive MMOs ever made. Gerard Butler stars as one such puppet forced through death matches to eventually earn his freedom... but is he GAMER enough to pull it off?

     Bringing a bunch of others along for the ride, Miles Morales makes his big screen debut. Wilson Fisk has an ambitious plan. Unfortunately for him, it also drops a clutter of Spiders in his way. An ambitious and fantastic animated film that stands pretty far above a lot of other American entries to the genre and gives its message pretty clearly. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
     All that and Kevin shouts from the void, Craig is played again by Dave, Tyler is a bad bad man, and Anna goes full J Jonah Jameson. Join us, won't you?

Episode 156- Beautiful Seizures Web Unto Me

Masochist May- Hard Swiss Crime Tapes

     Masochist May finally lets Tyler out of the strappado after a quadruple dose of suggestions designed to bring pain to some and pleasure to others.
     A serial killer leaves a box of video tapes in the house he used to rent. A mockumentary of legendary reputation from days when IMDb had message boards and social media consisted on top 8 spaces- The Poughkeepsie Tapes.
     Mexican exploitation legend with a predilection toward animal suffering, René Cardona Jr, bring his version of the Jonestown mass murder and suicide. Released less than a year after the actual events and stuffed with familiar faces, don't mistake that for a mark of quality in Guyana: Crime of the Century aka Cult of the Damned.
     The self proclaimed "M. Night of my times" takes 20 minutes from his previous feature and spins it out into either genius OR suffering. Depending on who you ask. Nazis and Pedophiles and the town from Footloose and Hard Rock Zombies. Oh my.
     Finally a man about to end it all makes friends with a very special corpse. High jinks ensue. Swiss Army Man

     All that and Dave learns all there is to know about talking puppies, Tyler paddles against the stream, Anna gets lost in a dark wood full of coyote, and Craig does an amazing impression for the whole run. Join us, won't you?

Episode 155- Masochist May: Hard Swiss Crime Tapes

Cults, Cuts, and a Singer Gone Nuts (Revisited)

     Due to technical issues, this weeks episode has been lost to the ether and is unrecoverable. To sum it up- ThanksKilling 3- hurt everyone except Craig, who has promised to get his brain scanned just in case it's a sign of some deeper issue. X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes- a great film in the Corman catalog that everyone should check out sometime. Just don't be too sad that the King ending isn't real. It got Anna's endorsement for the best film of the week. Dora and the Lost City of Gold- A nice joyful surprise for everyone. The cast is good, Isabela Merced is a joy, the jokes mostly land. A rare film that is appealing to all and far better than it has any right to be. It won the week by swiping Dave, Tyler, and Craig's votes.
     Until next week's four pack of super pain caps off Masochist May, enjoy this episode from the long long ago where we look at The Manson Family, The Skin I Live In, and Phantom of the Paradise. Join us, again, won't you?

Episode 62- Cults, Cuts, and a Singer Gone Nuts (Revisited)

Masochist May: Melinda's House of Whampires

     Masochist May rolls us under with special guest Stone Rockhouse bringing a personal touch to the pain.

     Another day, another experiment with 2-4-5 Trioxin. The military has the difficult choice between putting the dead in cheap mech exoskeletons or developing a slowly firing, long reloading freeze gun. When Julie and Curt have a little one vehicle accident, Curt decides to dose Julie with the gas before even taking her to a hospital. Director Brian Yuzna drops the earlier gags for a fairly fatalistic Shakespearean tale of Zombie love with Return of the Living Dead 3. 

     Christina lives in a house next to a creek. People near the house keep dying. Good thing she lives in a town where every guy is trying hard to channel their inner creepy crazy bastard. I mean... all of them. Why would anyone live anywhere near Christina's House.

      It's the not too distant future and mankind is living with a plague. This one happens to turn those infected into sorta vampires with reality ending skills and transdimensional pockets. Is Kurt Wimmer a genious or just very very good at back alley handies? I guess we find out with Ultraviolet.
     All that and Dave sees nothing, Tyler loves all, Stone remembers like a Pepridge Farm ad, and Kevin gets all wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Join us, won't you?

Episode 154- Melinda's House of Whampires