Saturday, March 27, 2021

Bacon, Bananas, Scrabble- A Talented Animals Tribute

    We bring March to a close with a salute to that most overlooked and mockingly abused of subgenres- the talented animal! Please note: RotP uses a VERY broad definition of both "talent" and "animals".

     When the dumbest man to ever slip his way into the space program flies into a wormhole, he ends up on a planet run by apekind. Quickly captured and sold to a human loving, aggressively so, chimp, the pair soon start a revolt against the establishment. Can the man barely able to tie his own shoes be able to out wit a whole Planet of the Apes?
     After a season dominating in professional hockey, Jack the chimpanzee is framed for biting a rival player. Unable to deal with this slander, Jack runs away to live with an orphan in an empty pool. Together they learn to laugh at love again... and do some wicked sick kickflips. Once a player, now he's MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate!
     You would be safe in assuming that after securing his place out of the oven, Babe would have a restful existence. Tragically, disaster strikes the Hoggett farm. Soon the bank is calling and the only way out is a well paid sheep herding demonstration. Unable to arrive at their destination, Esme and Babe face the cruel and uncaring city. Will they be able to stay on top long enough to return home? Will they be able to save the farm? Or will they adapt and never look back? What cruel fate awaits Babe: Pig in the City?
     When a research facility explodes, the only survivors are a super smart golden retriever and the vicious murdering mutant OXCOM, intent on eating the dog's eyes for a nice between meal snack. Fortunately, the dog meets a boy almost as painfully useless as the astronaut from Apes! Together they learn there's nothing a heavily plot armored boy and his dog can do. Even where there are Watchers about.
     All that and Kevin does his homework, Dave's memory gets fuzzy, and Tyler rolls in something. Join us, won't you?

Episode 198- Bacon, Bananas, Scrabble: A Tribute to Talented Animals


Saturday, March 20, 2021

Bronze Weasels and a Nice Chianti

      This week Lucas returns, summoned by the siren calls of Ted Levine and Donny Wahlberg. Did he see their glory or dash himself upon the rocks?

     Pulled from her new agent training, Clarice Starling is asked to have a nice sit down with an infamous cannibal named Hannibal. Meanwhile, a new killer has just taken victim #7, the daughter of a senator, and the countdown until she faces the same fate as all the others begins. Will the cannibal help or is he playing his own game? How did the FBI interviewers and background checkers not catch young Clarice's desperation for The Silence of the Lambs?
     The second most intense US-Canada sports rivalry. A test of skill, endurance, and speed. The US team reigned supreme from the birth of international play, only to finally fall to Canadians coached by a former teammate. With the 2004 Paralympic Games looming, can the US Team regain their supremacy for the gold or has the rest of the world begun to give them a taste of true competition? One of the best sports films ever made- Murderball.
     From the book by Stephen King filtered through the script and direction of Lawrence Kasdan comes the tale of five friends and the poop alien out to conquer the world. Somewhere between the realms of high concept, fun b-film, and Sia level of disabled people parody you can find Dreamcatcher.
     All that and Kevin's long term memory loss continues, Lucas and Tyler slathers themselves in preparation for the Snyder Cut, and Dave documents a century of pop culture. Join us, won't you?

Episode 197- Bronze Weasels and a Nice Chianti



Saturday, March 13, 2021

Bling in the Dark

      This week a bunch of young people struggling with darkness, I guess? Sure, why not? 

     What happens when a bunch of bored white kids in a rich area of California realize that famous people are just as bad at security as their grandma? What happens when they, fortunately, know a fence willing to deal with teens who can't keep their mouths shut? They got breaking in and taking stuff, duh-doy. What happens when they get so bold that they no longer fear being caught? What drives them to this? I don't know because I didn't read the article or book the movie is based on. The Bling Ring.
     Come and I will tell you a tale of a boy and girl and their love story. Sorry, wrong movie. A pseudo-hobbit finds a child... Wrong again. An oil fetishist who speaks to animals... no. The warrior who will be king... no. Jeez. There were a lot of fantasy movies in the mid-1980s. This one is Legend. You know, the one with Tim Curry being all sexy and awesome and you know that made you question things in ways you weren't ready to deal with.
     All that and Tyler gets his Vin on, Dave self-harms, and Kevin judges them like a Busey. Join us, won't you?


Saturday, March 6, 2021

Erotic Culinary Roller Therapy

      This week a pair of 2018 dramas directed, written, and starring women.

     Camille lives with her protective single mother. After an injury, she swears never to skateboard again. At least, never until a female skater collective she follows on Instagram has a meeting and she decides to go. Will she find what she's looking for with Skate Kitchen?
     Winner of the Golden Bear at Berlin International Film Festival. A metafictional meditation on intimacy in all of its modes or a pseudo-intellectual prattling covering up pointing and laughing? A tender examination of the diversity of intimacy or fatuous and shallow reinforcement of Euro-hardcore clichés that rival the 50s Shades series? Yes. Touch Me Not.
     All that and Dave doesn't get an emerging trend, Kevin gets snobby with it, and Tyler subtly auditions for a job hyping HBOMax. Join us, won't you?