Threat Level: Breen

     This week- Craig and Dave chose violence.

     Identical twin brothers, Cale and Cade, are abducted and turned into something more than human by an entity. They are sent out to fight what the entity claims is "evil" and for some reason that means working very closely with a US black ops organization. Unfortunately, Cale is seen as defective and eventually released from his captivity... only to find his own ways of combating "evil". Has Cale gone too far? Will Cade ever question any of what he has been told his whole life? A brotherly epic by auteur Neil Breen- Twisted Pair.
     Years have passed since the, uh... events?... sure, events of Twisted Pair and the twins have not been in contact. Cade donated a large sum of money to fix a psychiatric hospital. Unknown to him, the should be condemned hospital is just a front for insane human experiments in the back room and government sanctioned human trafficking in the basement. Will Cade save these poor, unfortunate souls? Why is Cale creeping around the staff staircase?  Could they really not find an actual room to film in? The latest film from cult filmmaker, in the very loosest sense, Neil Breen- Cade: The Tortured Crossing.
     All that and Kevin has a nap, Tyler goes to his happy place, Dave finds himself full of regret, and Craig laughs manically clutching a globe. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 401- Threat Level: Breen

You Can Call These Al

    We close out 2022 with a tribute to prolific high concept low budget auteur Albert Pyun.

     Deciding to make three American urban crime drama films for the price of one, all filmed in the same abandoned factory warehouse somewhere in Eastern Europe, all starring Ice-T and featuring Ernie Hudson Jr. Corrupt has ended years of gang wars by taking over both factions. MJ immediately disrupts the new status quo by stealing from him. Corrupt has always had his eye on MJ's sister Jodi. Will Corrupt get both Jodi and his property? Will MJ and Jodi get out of their deadly neighborhood? Corrupt.
     A mysterious virus that kills all exposed and has turned Boston into a quarantine zone. The only way into the rest of the US is a special passport that is only to government employees or through black market forgeries. Officer Delon, desperate to get her son out, finally buys a fake immediately before called to capture a walking viral timebomb who will kill everyone in Boston within the next 2 hours. Will Delon get her son to safety? Will Boston be swept away in a wave of violent viral violence? Adrenalin: Fear the Rush.
     Brick Bardo is a cop on the planet Arturos. He carries the most powerful handgun in the universe, a Kruger Blaster. When he chases his nemesis through a strange energy field, Brick finds himself stranded on Earth and only 13 inches tall. He is immediately swept up in a neighborhood's personal war on drugs and the gang that supplies them. Fortunately, his enemy has found himself on the opposing side once again. Will Brick reach a more fitting height for an action hero? Will the gang get their hands on the powerful, if tiny, alien bomb that ensures they will be able to rule over the city? Dollman.
     All that and Dave sings, Tyler gets wet, and Kevin's eye balls fall out of his head. Join us, won't we?
  Episode 290- You Can Call These Al

Cloak & Glamour

    This week four people fighting against oppressive structures. 

     When Noxeema Jackson and Vida Boheme tie in the competition for New York City's "Drag Queen of the Year" they set off for Hollywood and the "Miss Drag Queen of America Pageant", with their protégé Chi-Chi, in a 1967 Cadillac DeVille. Soon they are taking refuge in Snydersville waiting for a replacement car part with a bigoted, but fairly inept, sheriff on their trail. Endlessly quotable, stuffed with cameos, and always dressed on point- To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.
     Recently unemployed accountant, Morgan Sullivan, is bored. Not wanting to wait for a pity opening at his wife's father's firm, he secretly takes a position in corporate espionage for Digicorp. Taking the alias Jack Thursby, he infiltrates conventions to secretly record and pass confidential reports to his bosses. His life of excitement doesn't last long as he soon meets Rita Foster and is shown that there is far far more going on than he was led to believe. Morgan isn't recording information from other companies, he is having his own identity and sense of self pulled away and replaced with a Digicorp sleeper agent. A hasty deal with Rita's shadowy and dangerous boss may be his only hope of survival. Can Morgan figure out this tangled puzzle of double crosses and plots or will he be crushed in the corporate cogs of an unsolvable Cypher.
     All that and Dave sees a doc, Tyler goes to his happy place, and Kevin starts to glitch. Join us, won't you?
Episode 262- Cloak & Glamour

A Natural Bluish Hue

    This week- two films about doctors being less than ethical. 

     Pharmaceutical giant, Roritor, is in need of something new. In his desperation to save his lab, Dr. Chris Cooper will overstate the readiness of his antidepressant, GLeeMONEX. Chemically, the drug reaches into your brain and unlocks on to your happiest memory, chemically, and makes your happy happy, chemically. The drug sweeps the world, quickly caught up in Roritor's plans to make it readily and immediately available to all and an unforeseen side effect makes itself known. A cult classic from the director of Tiger Claws and one of the greatest sketch comedy troupes of all time Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy.
     Jack is a sad boi with mother issues. April is a singer at a club with child abandonment issues. When they meet, Jack's health takes a turn for the worst. Only Dr. Bergman may be able to save him but the good doctor is holding something back. Will Jack succumb to his sad boi? Will April ever get back into skating? What blackmail does the Australian government have on Hugo Weaving? How long until your patience is Expired (aka Loveland)?
     All that and Dave talks about high literature, Kevin overdoses on TV series box sets, and Tyler dresses all emo and shiz. Join us, won't you?

EPISODE 261: A NATURAL BLUISH HUE

Fishin' for Rays

    This week a pair of deranged killers with low body counts.

     When Julie and the gang accidentally run over a pedestrian. They all, nearly instantly, agree the best course of action is to stuff the body in the trunk, drive a couple miles to a dock, and dump the body into the Atlantic. It's a terrible plan that is made worse when they realize their victim isn't quite dead yet. A year later and the posse of 1st degree murderers begin to get strange threatening letters. Who is the fisherman? Does anyone really care if any of these people live or die? So trauma just means you stop washing you hair? Will they ever find out what they are waiting for? Inspired by the classic YA suspense novel by Lois Duncan- I Know What You Did Last Summer.
     The Sun is dying. Earth is freezing. The final hope of the species rests on the seven person crew, all of whom have very specific jobs and absolutely no cross specialty training, of the Icarus II carrying a special bomb intended to give a micro Big Bang and rebirth the dying star. Toward the end of their momentum building slingshot around Mercury, the discover the beacon of the lost Icarus I. Deciding to stop and gawk at their lost sister ship, turns their urgent and critically important mission into a nightmare. Will they deliver their payload? Could anything survive seven years marooned in space? How did most of these people get through the psych evaluation process of crew selection? If the succeed will the ensuing flood drown all life? Does solar radiation actually give super slasher powers? Did no one bother to read what happened to Icarus before naming multiple ships after him? Maybe there are answers if you join Danny Boyle and gaze directly at Sunshine.
     All that and Dave becomes aware of his multiverse selves, Craig continues working on his fur suit, Kevin makes a stand, and Tyler fells the love tonight. Join us, won't you?
Episode 252: Fishin' for Rays-

Penultimate Guitarfighter

     This week- a pair of disputes that range from the domestic to the pangalactic. Both of which were turned into off-Broadway musicals for the 2004 theater season. 

      Saloonkeeper Vienna's volatile relationship with the local yokels is quickly approaching critical. As a defensive measure she hires on a former lover and multiple discipline virtuoso, Johnny. Will this be enough to calm the waters, kept at a rolling boil by unable to deal with her feelings local rancher Emma Small? Or will this be the last duet for Vienna and Johnny Guitar?
     Alex dreams of life after the Starlite Starbrite trailer park he has spent his life in. Alex's only escapes are his dreams of college and the arcade game outside the local convenience store. When he breaks the high score, he soon learns it is all true and the Ko-Dan Armada is threatening all peaceful planets of the Rylan Star League. With only his navigator, Grig, can Alex save The Frontier and stop the power mad Xur? What hope can there possibly be when you are The Last Starfighter?
     All that and Craig almost achieves enlightenment, Kevin fills in some gaps, Dave looks down on their life choices, and Tyler feels the force flow through him- it isn't as fun as expected. Join us, won't you?

Episode 248- Penultimate Guitarfighter

Scratched Bark

     This week environmentalism in space and serial killing on Earth.

     The third rock is deforested. All that remains of its plant life and the species dependent on them are stored in massive geodesic domes attached to cargo ships. Word finally comes down that the project is to be abandoned, with all domes destroyed and ships returned to commercial use. Freeman Lowell, resident botanist and ecologist aboard Valley Forge, rebels to save the last dome and with it all that remains of Earth's native plant life. Hoping to hide in the rings of Saturn, Lowell is alone in the dark and Silent Running.
     A serial killer stalks all martial arts masters in the city. Desperate to get out of her assignment to Vice, detective Linda Masterson, played by the tragically misused Cynthia Rothrock, leverages her knowledge of martial arts to get on the case. For reasons, the prime one being his actor fronted much of the money to make the film, her captain decides that she needs the help of another karate cop, Sgt Tarek Richards, played by the less discussed the better Jalal Merhi. Richards soon does a tedious sexism and leaves her in the car while he goes to show off his complete lack of charm and fight skills. Not even Bolo Yeung, stoically shirtless and ready to rumble, can pull this out of the gaping pit of uncharismatic talentless ego driving the scenes. Just why, Tiger Claws?
     All that and Kevin outpaces all, Tyler gets a sprain from fanboy hype, and Dave discovers there's a little Jalal in us all. Join us, won't you?

Episode 245- Scratched Bark

Riding the Starfish

      This week joyrides both across a country and the void of space.

     When Nanae comes back into Rei's life, it kicks off events that will change everything. Soon they are on the run with only each other and their complicated history as support. Based on the influential manga, Gunjō. Will they find some kind of peace with each other and their past? Will they be able to forge a new future? Will they Ride or Die?
     Japan's first science fiction film shot in color. A rogue planet is hurtling towards a blissfully unaware Earth while strange visions of  giant starfish begin terrifying fishermen. At the same time Dr. Matsuda has just made a huge breakthrough in his work on a new nuclear bomb and Professor Isobe takes in a woman his son found floating down stream. Will the waterlogged woman be able to deliver her urgent Warning from Space in time for humanity to survive?
     All that and Tyler has to adjust his list, Dave starts a new starfish cult, and Kevin spoils a party. Join us, won't you?

Episode 239- Riding the Starfish

Lost in D'Onofrio

      A movie about a family lost in outer space and one about someone lost in inner space. 

     When serial killer Carl Stargher is found comatose on his kitchen floor, a desperate detective turns to an experimental therapy to help find her location. The therapy requires Catherine Deane to dive deep into Stargher's subconscious. A visual marvel from a master of imagery. Can anyone escape from The Cell.

     The year is 2058 and Earth is dying. In order to prepare a new world for colonization the family Robinson launch in the Jupiter II to build the other end of a jumpgate. Tragically, the missions is sabotaged by the villainous Doctor Smith just before launch. Now the Robinsons, their pilot, and Smith are all light-years and decades off target and in a part of the galaxy never before seen by human eyes. Why they sent a family comprised of three doctors and two preteens instead of, I don't know, an experienced deep space construction crew is a mystery for the ages. Not that it matters. All that matters is the Robinsons are Lost in Space!!!
     All that and Tyler makes a sacrifice to the bewb tube, Kevin watches a very long documentary, and Dave feels feelings he's just not ready to feel. Join us, won't you? 

Episode 204- Lost in D'Onofrio

Digital Chalk

     Two journeys into realms of imagination from the dark recesses of Disney. One a dark and twisted soot covered nightmare of the past, the other a glimpse at some not so far off electronic afterlife.

     When the wind changes on Cherry Tree Lane, a supernatural figure descends from the sky to teach a lesson to a pair of feral children. Also drawn in is a unemployed bystander just trying to scrape enough to not have to sleep on the street. The trio will be force marched through an episodic nightmarescape of delusion and class warfare. All for the twisted amusement of this child obsessed monster... Mary Poppins.
     Not learning the proper lessons from digital Rome, Kevin Flynn finds an easy way to monetize his experience and promises to lead the species into a golden dawn. Flynn promptly disappears. Two decades later his son, Sam, goes looking for him, only to fall into the same trap. Waking in the miraculous though slightly boring looking world of The Grid. A place where things can happen but only things that have happened before. Freed from the constraints of physics but designed by an unimaginative megalomaniac. Can Sam free Kevin and save both world? What is the Tron: Legacy?
     All that and Dave sings, Tyler gets his teens in trouble on, and Kevin feels a shudder. Join us, won't you?
Episode 201- Digital Chalk

Helmets Save Lives

     This week two movies with two wheeled action. Sorta. 

     Idiosyncratic Australian auteur Brian Trenchard-Smith gets deep into the heart of what all kids wanted in that mystical time between the Atari crash and the rise of Nintendo.... BMX bikes and walkie-talkies. A bank robbery crew loses their brand new walkie-talkies to a trio of young race maniacs two days before their biggest haul ever. The young race maniacs are desperately trying to find ways to raise the money to open Sydney's own BMX track facility. The police just want everyone to clear their emergency channel... which appears to be the only one used in Australia. Will the thieves get their hands on the kids before their deadline? Can the kids make enough money to bring BMX to the people? Can the police actually leave the station and do the smallest amount of actual policing? Can anyone stop the BMX Bandits?
     One of the greatest comic book adaptions based on the long running UK cult series that somehow tanked so painfully hard in the box office that some of us will never recover from this disappointment. On the streets of Mega-City One, he is the law. Until he finds himself locked in the 200 story Peach Trees high-rise completely controlled by the vicious gang behind a new drug called Slo-Mo. In Peach Trees, Ma-Ma believes she is the law. Which is right and how many rounds will be fired in the proving? Can anything, except the terrible lingering Stallone aftertaste, stop Dredd?
     All that and Tyler experiences a new warm fuzzy feeling, Dave monster mashes through Hong Kong, and Kevin likes to watch... through the window. Join us, won't you?

Episode 199- Helmets Save Lives

Bacon, Bananas, Scrabble- A Talented Animals Tribute

    We bring March to a close with a salute to that most overlooked and mockingly abused of subgenres- the talented animal! Please note: RotP uses a VERY broad definition of both "talent" and "animals".

     When the dumbest man to ever slip his way into the space program flies into a wormhole, he ends up on a planet run by apekind. Quickly captured and sold to a human loving, aggressively so, chimp, the pair soon start a revolt against the establishment. Can the man barely able to tie his own shoes be able to out wit a whole Planet of the Apes?

     After a season dominating in professional hockey, Jack the chimpanzee is framed for biting a rival player. Unable to deal with this slander, Jack runs away to live with an orphan in an empty pool. Together they learn to laugh at love again... and do some wicked sick kickflips. Once a player, now he's MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate!

     You would be safe in assuming that after securing his place out of the oven, Babe would have a restful existence. Tragically, disaster strikes the Hoggett farm. Soon the bank is calling and the only way out is a well paid sheep herding demonstration. Unable to arrive at their destination, Esme and Babe face the cruel and uncaring city. Will they be able to stay on top long enough to return home? Will they be able to save the farm? Or will they adapt and never look back? What cruel fate awaits Babe: Pig in the City?

     When a research facility explodes, the only survivors are a super smart golden retriever and the vicious murdering mutant OXCOM, intent on eating the dog's eyes for a nice between meal snack. Fortunately, the dog meets a boy almost as painfully useless as the astronaut from Apes! Together they learn there's nothing a heavily plot armored boy and his dog can do. Even where there are Watchers about.
     All that and Kevin does his homework, Dave's memory gets fuzzy, and Tyler rolls in something. Join us, won't you?

Episode 198- Bacon, Bananas, Scrabble: A Tribute to Talented Animals

Criminal Activities

     This week multiple masterminds make mischievous misfortune for moral masses and mobbed moneylenders.

     Now that his son is getting to the point of fleeing the nest, widower Shigeharu looks to connect with a woman in hopes of wifing a nice younger woman. Instead of turning to the normal methods of bars and matchmakers and online profiles, he and his producer friend decide to hold a fake casting call. Because nothing says "I am looking for love" like a light Weinstein session. His eye is caught by Asami and he worms his way in.... unfortunately he doesn't notice the corpses strewn about. Takashi Miike's first international breakthrough film, which lead the early 2000s J-horror boom and inspired the Hostel style US body horror trend, based on a novel by Ryu Murakami... Audition.

     Underground black and white Japanese cyberpunk from cult filmmaker Shozin Fukui shows how much you can do with nothing but determination and stuff stolen from your neighbor's garage band. A pair of rogue scientists perform psychic drug experiments on people grabbed off the street. Subjecting them to brutal tortures that end in horrible deaths and failure... until their final project yields even more terrifying results. Sex, drugs, Speedos, and a whole lot of high concept insanity are crammed in Rubber's Lover.
     One of the best action film directors to ever command a set, one of the most unlikely romantic heroes of the 1970s, a bank robbery gone wrong, a hitman on their trail, and only one way out. Don Siegel delivers another tough and cynical film with a stellar cast, anchored by the great Walter Matthau, in the mostly overlooked gem that is Charley Varrick.
     All that and Kevin moves his command center to a new underground bunker, Dave knows that two actors in that movie were in popular ST roles but he wanted to go easy on them, and Tyler loves like only loving lovers love. Join us, won't you?

Episode 188- Criminal Activities 

City of Mant

     This week a pair of celebrations of cinema from two very different perspectives. 

     Key West, the Cuban Missile Crisis, teen hormones going crazy from the heat when the fourth greatest showman in the world, Lawrence Woolsey, rolls into town to exhibit his newest masterpiece of radioactive horror! THRILL! as the Greatest Movie within a Movie is Unveiled Before Your Eyes! Witness!! the Terrifying Power of Rumble-Rama!! BEHOLD!!! the Simmering Passions of a People Enthralled by Terror!!! RotP Proudly Presents a Celebration of B-Movie Spirit.... MATINEE!
     People once believed that when a movie died, a Producer carried to the land of the dead. But some times, something makes so much money that a terrible sadness is carried with it, and the Producers can't rest. Then often, far too often, the Producers bring that movie back and put the right things wrong. The sequel to one of the decade's longest shadowed films. A lead who can't emote in English or fight. A villain who seems to have been ripped out of a different movie entirely. The lovely Mia Kirshner in daily fetish wear... THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS.
     All that plus Dave endures, Kevin likes to watch, and Tyler rolls in a tub of vegan Jell-o. Join us, won't you?

Episode 179- City of Mant

Holy Fist

      This week two classics of their genres. Two films from lands outside of Hollywood. Two titans whose shadows cast long over the valley of film and solidified their creators as masters. Two films with endless monologues about nothing pretending to be insightful...

     One of the most famous Mexican films ever produced. Headed by a massively multi-hyphenate, writer-director-composer-editor-set designer-costume designer-star, Alejandro Jodorowsky. All the esoteric you can handle and a heaping helping of exploding frogs. Can he lead the worst people on Earth to the enlightenment waiting atop The Holy Mountain?

     What happens when a TV series based on a manga takes all the violence they can't show on broadcast and rearranges it for theatrical distribution to get their gore on? Possibly the best post-apocalyptic action film to not feature anyone named Max or Carradine. When Ken is left for dead after being betrayed by his best friend and all the others he called brothers, he goes on a quest to clean the wastes and rescue his kidnapped lover, Julia. The legend, the myth, the seventh goriest film we have watched... Fist of the North Star.
     All that AND Dave finally breaks, Tyler reveals his secret plans, and Kevin finally pops that balloon. Join us, won't you?

EPISODE 178- Holy Fist

Flies in the Ointment

     Two parts Mad Science, one part Vincent Price, one part Jeff Goldblum, shake over ice, garnish with some New Flesh and...REMAKE MONTH CONTINUES!!!

     This week a double shot of good intentions brought to ruin by insane self experimentation for giggles. 

     When a man's wife smashed his head in a hydraulic press, there's a lot of explaining to do.

     When you are one for two with imploding baboons, drunkenly testing on yourself is not a normal step in development. 

     Two house flies enter, two monstrosities exit! Why won't mild mannered scientist stop being reckless while standing on the bleeding edge?

     All that and Tyler says a thing that will ruin us all, Kevin likes to watch, and Dave fails to grasp the physics. Join us, won't you?

Episode 166- Flies in the Ointment

Do Not Forsake Me

     Remake Month rolls along with a two pack of men doing what they feel is right, despite everyone around them telling them to walk away...

     Gary Cooper puts to bed the cowboy archetype he had created 23 years earlier in The Virginian. Marshal Will Kane has just married and left his the job. Tragically, as soon as his gun and star are placed on the desk, word arrives that the outlaw who once held the town in his control has been released and is coming for Kane. Covered in controversy at release, one of the first films entered into the United States National Film Registry, a constant source of endless inspiration for so much that followed it. 

     Sean Connery picks up a trucker hat and shotgun to enforce new frontier justice. Federal Marshal William O'Neil is assigned to a mining outpost on the Jovian moon Io. The environment is unforgiving, the conditions are brutal, the work is hard, the shifts are long... but the pay is significant. All productivity records are shattered under the current management. Everything appears to be going as well as possible... until the miners begin to have violent, delusional, psychotic episodes. As O'Neil begins to investigate, who will stand with him when he could hurt their profit? The first film to use Introvision, a front-projection technique which allows effect elements to be combined in camera, that would be the industry standard until the adoption of digital compositing.

     This week High Noon and its spiritual offspring thematic remake Outland. Join us, won't you?

Episode 165- Do Not Forsake Me, O Space Darlin'