Don't Hate the Player

     This week- two movies about men reintegrating into society after extended absences for vastly different reasons.

     Conor lives a life cut off from the world with Sandy, his dog. Finding himself intrigued by a video game ad promising more immersion than ever before. What starts as disappointment soon leads to a journey beyond Conor's door to places he never imagined. The sixth existential DIY analog odyssey from Albert Birney- OBEX.
     Eddie finally comes home after five years as a prisoner of war. Soon he learns things have changed more than he ever imagined and there is no help coming from those important to his previous life or the VA. Driven to an extreme, Eddie tried a desperate move to take care of himself and his mother. Michael Pressman's ambitiously social commentary dramedy that was butchered by the studio but still propped up by a strong performances from Richard Pryor and the supporting cast- Some Kind of Hero.
     All that and Tyler's canvas gets more crowded, Craig explores new avenues, Kevin grumbles about the future, and Dave considers wanting information. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 467- Don't Hate the Player

A Good Day to Nakadai Hard

     This week a four film tribute to an actor whose career spanned seven decades, the legendary Tatsuya Nakadai.

     A penniless samurai leaves his wife for improved social status and the daughter of wealthy family. A young woodcutter, taking refuge from a blizzard, confronts a yuki-onna. A blind musician performs for a dead Emperor, who plans to keep him playing in his ghostly court forever. A lord sees a face he doesn't know reflected back in his cup of tea and soon is visited by their ghostly and murderous attendants. Widely regarded as one of the most beautiful films of all time and based on the legends collected by Yakumo Koizumi, whose work gave Western audiences their first look into Japanese culture- Kwaidan.
     An amoral master swordsman, with a habit of random street murders, has to leave his home after killing an opponent after a duel and takes his opponent's wife with him. Two years later, in Edo, he has joined a secret assassin squad to support the shogunate and his past begins to catch up with him. The first in a planned trilogy, never completed due to the amounts of violence in the first film, based on one of the longest books ever written over 41 volumes and published over 28 years, The Sword of Doom.
     Masagoro Kiryuin, a contradictor gang-boss who sees himself as a chivalric protector, adopts a daughter. Matsue is smart, has a thirst for knowledge, and struggles against the boundaries society has set for her. A yakuza melodrama that covers several decades of their lives- Onimasa (aka Kiryûin Hanako no shôgai).
     2,217 British and Australian prisoners of war had been forced to work on the Burma railway and build a bridge. Now they are being taken to Japan to fill in the increasing manpower shortage. Stuffed into the hold of a hell ship, without enough air, water, or food, it seems unlikely the majority will survive to their destination. Or will they all die at the hands of patrolling American submarines? Not a sequel to the similarly titled classic, Return from the River Kwai. 
All that and Kevin might never Returnal from his current obsession, Craig shares a pain Tyler knows well, and Dave might be napping in his chair. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 449- A Good Day to Nakadai Hard

Willie Robbers

      Two movies that shed light on the difference between theft and larceny. 

     When their homes are targeted by the local country club as an idea spot for their new golf course, the Goon Dock's young residents won't take it lying down. A stolen map, bike, wish, and wallet all lead to a classic adventure with a small amount of grave robbing. The petty larceny never ends when you are hanging on the strings of green and blues with The Goonies.

     Down on his luck Zed arrives in Paris with the hope of reconnecting with an old friend who has a job waiting for him. After an afternoon with a lovely young woman and a night celebrating with his friend, Zed gets to work. The work just happens to be breaking into a vault while his friend runs hostage control. One of them happens to be really terrible at his job. Breaking into a bank vault is theft. I know, I didn't expect it either. Of course why does any of that matter when they are Killing Zoe?

     All that and Tyler makes Dave hurt himself while Kevin completes his Iron Throne of popsicle sticks. Join us, won't you?

Episode 202- Willie Robbers

Helmets Save Lives

     This week two movies with two wheeled action. Sorta. 

     Idiosyncratic Australian auteur Brian Trenchard-Smith gets deep into the heart of what all kids wanted in that mystical time between the Atari crash and the rise of Nintendo.... BMX bikes and walkie-talkies. A bank robbery crew loses their brand new walkie-talkies to a trio of young race maniacs two days before their biggest haul ever. The young race maniacs are desperately trying to find ways to raise the money to open Sydney's own BMX track facility. The police just want everyone to clear their emergency channel... which appears to be the only one used in Australia. Will the thieves get their hands on the kids before their deadline? Can the kids make enough money to bring BMX to the people? Can the police actually leave the station and do the smallest amount of actual policing? Can anyone stop the BMX Bandits?
     One of the greatest comic book adaptions based on the long running UK cult series that somehow tanked so painfully hard in the box office that some of us will never recover from this disappointment. On the streets of Mega-City One, he is the law. Until he finds himself locked in the 200 story Peach Trees high-rise completely controlled by the vicious gang behind a new drug called Slo-Mo. In Peach Trees, Ma-Ma believes she is the law. Which is right and how many rounds will be fired in the proving? Can anything, except the terrible lingering Stallone aftertaste, stop Dredd?
     All that and Tyler experiences a new warm fuzzy feeling, Dave monster mashes through Hong Kong, and Kevin likes to watch... through the window. Join us, won't you?

Episode 199- Helmets Save Lives

Bronze Weasels and a Nice Chianti

      This week Lucas returns, summoned by the siren calls of Ted Levine and Donny Wahlberg. Did he see their glory or dash himself upon the rocks?

     Pulled from her new agent training, Clarice Starling is asked to have a nice sit down with an infamous cannibal named Hannibal. Meanwhile, a new killer has just taken victim #7, the daughter of a senator, and the countdown until she faces the same fate as all the others begins. Will the cannibal help or is he playing his own game? How did the FBI interviewers and background checkers not catch young Clarice's desperation for The Silence of the Lambs?
     The second most intense US-Canada sports rivalry. A test of skill, endurance, and speed. The US team reigned supreme from the birth of international play, only to finally fall to Canadians coached by a former teammate. With the 2004 Paralympic Games looming, can the US Team regain their supremacy for the gold or has the rest of the world begun to give them a taste of true competition? One of the best sports films ever made- Murderball.
     From the book by Stephen King filtered through the script and direction of Lawrence Kasdan comes the tale of five friends and the poop alien out to conquer the world. Somewhere between the realms of high concept, fun b-film, and Sia level of disabled people parody you can find Dreamcatcher.
     All that and Kevin's long term memory loss continues, Lucas and Tyler slathers themselves in preparation for the Snyder Cut, and Dave documents a century of pop culture. Join us, won't you?

Episode 197- Bronze Weasels and a Nice Chianti

Bling in the Dark

      This week a bunch of young people struggling with darkness, I guess? Sure, why not? 

     What happens when a bunch of bored white kids in a rich area of California realize that famous people are just as bad at security as their grandma? What happens when they, fortunately, know a fence willing to deal with teens who can't keep their mouths shut? They got breaking in and taking stuff, duh-doy. What happens when they get so bold that they no longer fear being caught? What drives them to this? I don't know because I didn't read the article or book the movie is based on. The Bling Ring.
     Come and I will tell you a tale of a boy and girl and their love story. Sorry, wrong movie. A pseudo-hobbit finds a child... Wrong again. An oil fetishist who speaks to animals... no. The warrior who will be king... no. Jeez. There were a lot of fantasy movies in the mid-1980s. This one is Legend. You know, the one with Tim Curry being all sexy and awesome and you know that made you question things in ways you weren't ready to deal with.
     All that and Tyler gets his Vin on, Dave self-harms, and Kevin judges them like a Busey. Join us, won't you?

Episode 196: Bling in the Dark

Erotic Culinary Roller Therapy

      This week a pair of 2018 dramas directed, written, and starring women.

     Camille lives with her protective single mother. After an injury, she swears never to skateboard again. At least, never until a female skater collective she follows on Instagram has a meeting and she decides to go. Will she find what she's looking for with Skate Kitchen?
     Winner of the Golden Bear at Berlin International Film Festival. A metafictional meditation on intimacy in all of its modes or a pseudo-intellectual prattling covering up pointing and laughing? A tender examination of the diversity of intimacy or fatuous and shallow reinforcement of Euro-hardcore clichés that rival the 50s Shades series? Yes. Touch Me Not.
     All that and Dave doesn't get an emerging trend, Kevin gets snobby with it, and Tyler subtly auditions for a job hyping HBOMax. Join us, won't you?

Episode 195- Erotic Culinary Roller Therapy

West of Temptation and Power

     Bringing February to an end with a four pack of African-American directed films. 

     The film that finally gave Denzel Washington his long overdue Oscar. A film that launched a thousand cheap imitators to dominate the decade's award bait genres. Birthing AFI's 50th Greatest Screen Villain and so far two different TV continuations. Antoine Fuqua's turn of the Century crime classic- Training Day

     Previously only known for his cinematography, Ernest Dickerson slid in with a masterful assurance to deliver a standout feature at the height of the 90s urban crime wave. Starring Tupac Shakur, in only his second film role (his first being a cameo with Digital Underground in Nothing But Trouble the year before) just before the release of his landmark second album, and Omar Epps, in his film debut. Tired of being pushed around and desperate for respect, Bishop talks his friends into robbing a corner store. It all goes very wrong from there but one might still get some Juice.
     One of the most unique vampire films ever made. A minister in training finds himself at a crossroads and visits his friend in New York City. Little does he expect to be brought straight into the sights of the forces of Hell. With Temptation breathing down his neck, can his friends pull him out of its clutches or will they all be Def by Temptation. 

     A western that uses all the genre's features with the laudable goal to bring the focus on real African-American cowboys (who made up between 20-25%, Mexican vaquero accounted for 33%... 30% of Texas settlers were African-American). Tragically, it doesn't quite reach it's target. A large ensemble cast leaves too many with nothing to do and no impact on the narrative or audience. It's determined drive to try and get it's fictional hero a place among the best known Old West folk heroes leaves a lot to be desired. Mario Van Peebles' valiant but messy Posse.  
     All that and Kevin feels the feels he feels, Tyler might be cooking up something in a wheeled kitchen, and Dave has an honest heart to heart with all writers out there. Join us, won't you?

Episode 194- West of Temptation and Power

12-String & Basketball

     This week the final feature film from a groundbreaking genius and the directorial debut of an underappreciated talent.

     A biopic on one of the most influential voices in American musical history. The debatably true story of Huddie Ledbetter and the events that would make him emerge as Lead Belly. From his early days touring Northern Texas with Blind Lemon Jefferson to his recordings for Lomax. Part legend building in it's own right, part contextualizing the life that gave the world so many enduring works. One of the best but least seen musical biographies ever made- Gordon Parks's Leadbelly.
     Two connected and mirroring lives examined through the sport they love in four segments. Approaching the character's lives not just through romance but through one's desire to follow her single dream, the other's struggle to find their own path, and their mutual love for basketball. A film that has fully earned it's cult status and continues to grow it's reputation to this day- Gina Prince-Bythewood's Love & Basketball.
     All that and Tyler survives a localized artic gale, Kevin makes good on his monthly delivery of disappointing heartbreak, and Dave dreams of the future onboard a Korean space hauler. Join us, won't you?

Episode 192: 12-String & Basketball

Caat Kune Doh

      This week Kevin makes Tyler's happy happy and Craig roundhouse kicks everyone in the teeth.... or would if his leg could lift higher than a shuffle.

     At long last the world of Harmony Korine is unleashed upon us. In the tornado devastated town of Xenia, Ohio a pair of point and laugh redneck kids stumble around killing cats and grannies. Meanwhile three sisters and a guy with a bunny hat and shorts lead a parade of different looking people who are there for you to point and laugh at... Gummo.

     From Nepal comes wannbe action hero and all around blighted sponge on the memory of Bruce Lee- Shuny Bee. What happens if you take a real life Johnny Lawrence and his students make a film around him? Basically this but even less competent and head up the ass pretensions and desperate than you are imagining. Don't join the Fight of Fury.

     All that and Dave forgot his brainwash, Kevin tries to shame us all with his classy, and Tyler is in a happy place trance. Join us, won't you?

Episode 191- Caat Kune Doh

Grudge Match

     This week we bring Japanuary to a close with an overview of theatrical released Ju-On films.

     Seven people all wonder into the wrong house for various reasons and regret it pretty quickly. Kayako and Toshio unleash their brand of revenge in Ju-On: The Grudge (2002).

     Seeing the potential there, Hollywood was quick to get their own but wisely decided to bring the original creator along with a bigger budget and a fistful of CW actors in The Grudge (2004)

     Some times you lose sight of why a series works and make really bad follow ups in a new continuity... Like what happened with Leatherface seventy times. Ju-On: The Beginning of the End (2014).

     Finally who doesn't love a good tag team match? Sadako vs Kayako (2016) breathes new life into two of the century's most dominant nightmares.
Join us, won't you?

Episode 190- Grudge Match

Necro Firearm Escape

      This week the last hand painted film, the most recent war blockbuster, and our third Asami film!

      A pair of assassins drive through the dessert. To cover the hours one tells the tale of a doctor who becomes a revenge focused mastermind when his wife is murdered. The doctor buys a woman, an addict sex worker, and molds her into the ultimate killing machine. An amazing physical lead performance drives this exploitation action fest. As the blood flies and the nipples expose, can anything stop Gun Woman?

     British and French forces are pushed to the northern beaches and surrounded in the town of Dunkirk. Looking at the evacuation from land, sea, and air, Christopher Nolan wrangles a large ensemble cast between epic war story of Dunkirk.

     Prestigious Ginei Studios has gone bankrupt and shut it's doors for the last time. In celebration of it's glorious past television interviewer Genya and his cameraman Kyoji have a life spanning interview with the studio's biggest star, Chiyoko Fujiwara, who disappeared from the spotlight thirty years earlier. A surreal work from one of Japan's undisputed masters of animation, Millennium Actress.

     All that and next week we bring Japanuary to a close with a look at the seminal J-horror series JU-ON. Join us, won't you?

Episode 189- Necro Firearm Escape

Criminal Activities

     This week multiple masterminds make mischievous misfortune for moral masses and mobbed moneylenders.

     Now that his son is getting to the point of fleeing the nest, widower Shigeharu looks to connect with a woman in hopes of wifing a nice younger woman. Instead of turning to the normal methods of bars and matchmakers and online profiles, he and his producer friend decide to hold a fake casting call. Because nothing says "I am looking for love" like a light Weinstein session. His eye is caught by Asami and he worms his way in.... unfortunately he doesn't notice the corpses strewn about. Takashi Miike's first international breakthrough film, which lead the early 2000s J-horror boom and inspired the Hostel style US body horror trend, based on a novel by Ryu Murakami... Audition.

     Underground black and white Japanese cyberpunk from cult filmmaker Shozin Fukui shows how much you can do with nothing but determination and stuff stolen from your neighbor's garage band. A pair of rogue scientists perform psychic drug experiments on people grabbed off the street. Subjecting them to brutal tortures that end in horrible deaths and failure... until their final project yields even more terrifying results. Sex, drugs, Speedos, and a whole lot of high concept insanity are crammed in Rubber's Lover.
     One of the best action film directors to ever command a set, one of the most unlikely romantic heroes of the 1970s, a bank robbery gone wrong, a hitman on their trail, and only one way out. Don Siegel delivers another tough and cynical film with a stellar cast, anchored by the great Walter Matthau, in the mostly overlooked gem that is Charley Varrick.
     All that and Kevin moves his command center to a new underground bunker, Dave knows that two actors in that movie were in popular ST roles but he wanted to go easy on them, and Tyler loves like only loving lovers love. Join us, won't you?

Episode 188- Criminal Activities 

Playground of Torturous Cartoon Sausage

      This week a classic, a brutal experiment, and a beloved by some art film.

     A bureaucrat ground down by three decades in the same monotonous position with a son who only appears to care about his pension and inheritance learns that his days are drawing to a close sooner than he expects. Setting out to find how to love life and find meaning in his own, he stumbles through the city. A master's achingly humanist meditation on what one can do when they find their passion and leave their mark, no matter how small or large, is the real way to live- Ikiru.
     Waking up in a claustrophobic nightmare, a man must find his way out before he bleeds to death. Can he make it out of his Haze?
     Tom Green- Canadian, comedian, TV host, film star, former lover of Gertie, Disney Princess. What happens when Fox gives him several million and lets him run wild? There was only one possible outcome... Freddy Got Fingered.
All that and we try very hard to no get political. Join us, won't you?

Episode 187- Playground of Tortuous Cartoon Sausage

Tank VS Sub

     This week we roll into 2021 and Japanuary with an action classic, a pinku classic, and a listener selected overlooked war movie from that long distant mythical time called the 1980s.

     What do you get when you unleash an escaped prisoner, a young woman, four yakuza, and a whole lot of zombies in the middle of a forest that doubles as a gateway to the otherside of this mortal coil? A lot of bloody fun in Versus.
     When she was a high school freshman Naoko was abducted and imprisoned by her neighbor. She went through a month of Hell. Now she lives a double life. By day she is one of Japan's top experts in fertility, by night she is a popular submissive at a high scale S&M club. Naoko has spent her life chasing a feeling she once had in captivity but what is it exactly? Is it the taste of a Sweet Whip (Amai Muchi)?
     A Russian tank is separated from the column. Meanwhile, Taj returns home to find it destroyed and his brother killed. With the tank lost and a group of revenge hungry mujahideen on their trail how long will the group of soldiers keep it together or will their interpersonal conflicts kill them all? Can Taj rise to fill his brother's shoes and lead this group and his village? Or is The Beast truly unstoppable?
     All that and Dave fights Skype, Kevin yearns for the old days of hot buttered crumpets, and Tyler wistfully dreams of Mitsu Dan. Join us, won't you?

Episode 186- Tank VS Sub

The Chickens, The Cats, Some T-Birds, and a Rat

     This week we bring 2020 to a close and embrace the warmth of the holidays with that genre that says togetherness like no other... Musicals. Four screeching pitchy nightmare visions of the hell that is 2021 awaiting us all... or not.

     Memories. Of a musical loved by children. A fun and high enery show that familes can love. Turned to creepy. With Dutch ang...les... Every cg face can be a terrifying vision. They don't stay on and Tom Hooper is crying. We saw Cats! It's so easy to flee screaming... 
Okay. Maybe that doesn't work to the tune of Memory.
     The first collaboration between the House of Mouse and the Studio Apartment of Mayhem. A script that blends a classic of English holiday literature with the merry mayhem only Henson can provide, with a strong script and songs that will stay with you for decades... Does it get much better than The Muppet Christmas Carol? 
     Dolly Parton. What else can anyone ask for? Okay, fine. There's also a little Burt Reynolds and a tiny bit of Jim Nabors and a fleeting glimpse of Charles Durning. All together in a Lone Star shaped romp of sex and football and fake news and politics and minor acts of gross use of force and intimidation. It's not some third rate flop, it's The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.
     The Next Generation rises to take the reigns from the legends that came before. Supported by a gaggle of legends from the Golden Era. Does it sink or swim? Is there any gas left in Grease 2?

     All that and Anna drinks enough to make the others tolerable company, Kevin plans a heist the likes of which has only come from a Micklewhite, Dave goes full Santa, and Tyler puts lumps of coal in his underoos for maximum pleasure. Join us, won't you?

Episode 185- The Chickens, The Cats, Some T-Birds, and a Rat

Cowabunga-ed in Carbonite

     In the penultimate episode of 2020 we go to two happy places.

     Long long ago in a galaxy far far away, a group of people where chilling, literally, on an ice planet when the evil Empire found them and kicked off a whole bunch of problems for the second to last Jedi, his secret sister, her smuggler lover, his hairy life partner, and their sentient android slaves. Yeah, that's bad but it's The Empire Strikes Back. Hard to find new ways to describe it.
     Long long ago in a city on the East Coast, four teenage ninjas had just taken out the vicious leader of a criminal gang driving the worst petty crime wave in history. Unfortunately, their rest and celebration is cut short as their enemies return thirsty of mutated revenge shenanigans. Also Vanilla Ice is there... what will be revealed by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze?
     All that and Kevin had higher highs and lower lows, Dave does Santa right, and Tyler loves like a loving lover who loves. Join us, won't you?

Episode 184- Cowabunga-ed in Carbonite

Of Gulls and Steel

     This week two tales of men and obsession.

     When a storm turns a four week temp job into an endless nightmare beans get spilled and so does some blood. Is it a brilliant work of art about humanity's most base self or a lot of bright light and fury signifying nothing? Either way there a whole lot to unpack in you take a job at The Lighthouse.

     A train carrying $400 thousand gets robbed by the best led gang in the West. Unfortunately, they get really greedy and steal a gift for the American president and murder one of it's samurai guards. Now an unlikely pair are thrown together on a quest of redemption and revenge. Three of the coolest actors of all time join forces to face the Red Sun.

     All that and Dave remembers, Kevin gets Christmasy, and Tyler suffers for art. Join us, won't you?

Episode 183- Of Gulls and Steel

 

I Know Who Joyrode Me

     This week- two tales of youth in over their heads and at the mercy of corrupt officials.

     Jason and Midget are avid participants in Newark's most popular sport- joyriding. One day they pick the wrong car to an evening drive. Owned by a police officer who will stop at nothing to clear himself in the wrongful shooting of a neighborhood kid. Beware the traffic through a New Jersey Drive.

     The town of New Salem has a predator among its sleepy inhabitants. Terrible pianist and aspiring writer of dinosaur Kindle erotica, Aubrey Fleming, disappears one night after a football game. Days later she is found in a ditch horrifically missing limbs. When she wakes up in the hospital she reveals another shock, that she isn't Aubrey but down-on-her-luck stripper Dakota Moss. Is Dakota her mind protecting her from trauma? Is she really not Aubrey and if so where is the town's favorite fanfic author? All this and more will be revealed, mush to everyone's dismay, as soon as Dakota says I Know Who Killed Me.

     All that and Dave survives another November marathon, Kevin likes to watch, and Tyler does terrible things to himself in the name of art. Join us, won't you? 

Episode 182- I Know Who Joyrode Me

Can You Read Title Cards?

 
   This week three disembodied voices discuss devoiced bodies. 

     A classic that launched 31 years of monster movies. A benchmark performance in the genre which looms just as large 91 years later. The first of a billion chandelier drops. Lon Chaney and company transform one of literature's most absurd characters into a haunting legend that overshadows its source. Read that strange duet with The Phantom of the Opera.

     A permanently smiling clown, desperate for love that he fells he can never deserve, is elevated to the halls of power in an adaption of Victor Hugo's melodrama. The last glorious blast of German expressionism which casts almost as long a shadow over the Universal Monsters as Phantom. Bolstered by one of the most sensitive performances ever filmed. Tragically, they did remove his brutal takedown of English government... The Man Who Laughs.

     The first film of one of the world's most popular characters. Starring by the first man to ever play the part and brought many of the staple to him that the author never envisioned before. Lost for nearly a century. William Gillette kept Sherlock Holmes viable and popular while Doyle desperately tried to forget him. 1916's Sherlock Holmes.

     A commentary on the conditions people face because of modernization. A tedious, lazy, and completely out of touch satire that set the stage for so many luddite arguments to follow. Considered by some his magnum opus despite yet another fair and featureless heroine and a total lack of points to make besides old rich man thinks progress is bad, Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times. Don't worry, not all of us hated it.
All that AND Dave shares the pain, Tyler embraces love, and Kevin plots revenge. Join us, won't you?

Episode 181- Can You Read Title Cards?