Armored Tales

     This week- two films about people driven to extreme measures to try and grab a small bit of happiness.

     A Queen is desperate for a child but jealousy overtakes her love. An older woman is pursued by an oversexed king and drives her sister to an extreme. A King is obsessed with his pet and neglects his familial duties. An epic Italian-UK-French co-production recounting stories from Giambattista Basile's Pentamerone- Tale of Tales (Italian title: Il racconto dei racconti)
     A criminal mastermind plots his biggest heist yet. A low-level crook obsesses over his ex-wife. A burlesque dancer prepares to escape. A trio of cops bumble around the City of Angels on everyone's trail. An early film from Richard Fleischer who would spend the next three decades making tentpole star vehicles- Armored Car Robbery.

     All that plus Craig gets philosophical while Dave and Kevin burn. Join us, won't you?       Episode 475- Armored Tales

Potentialpopspalooza

     Four dads, zero grills, zero puns. The best evidence yet that something truly terrible is happening. Don't worry, there's plenty of emotional and physical abuse to make up for it. 

   Cape Fear Minisode 7- Potentialpopspalooza

Of COURSE I'd CCH Pound Her

     Someone dosed the iced tea and now we all have to sweat it out together. To make matters worse, Tom and Anna are determined to make issues with their new neighbor and a squatter is going to give the surprise landlords a real headache. 

   Cape Fear Minisode 6- Of COURSE I'd CCH Pound Her

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

     After a night of drinking with Max, Tom's hangover is far worse than he imagined possible. Anna tracks down Neveah's mother with devastating consequences. Meanwhile, Max meets his new neighbors and they seem lovely.

   Cape Fear Minisode #5- Please Won't You Be My Neighbor?

But What You Make Others See

This week- the boys take a trip to an art exhibit, the girls visit a pop up artist, and Max tries to buy a car in Cape Fear episode 4 "Pierced". 
Cape Fear Minisode #3- But What You Make Others See

Full Court Haunt

     This week- two films about dudes justifying their actions as being pushed to extremes by manipulative outside forces.

     Odin James, an African-American basketball prodigy, has earned a leadership position on a highly competitive  private school's predominately white and upper-middle class team and the interest of many college recruiters. When Odin shares his team MVP award with Michael, Hugo, the coach's jealous son, devises a plot to take them both down so he can step into the team's spotlight. An updated take on Shakespeare and the second directorial feature from playwright and character actor Time Blake Nelson- O.
     Charles Dexter Ward has inherited the grand mansion overlooking the small town of Arkham, Massachusetts. Little does he suspect that is the same place where the town burned his forebearer, the necromancer Joseph Curwen, 110 years earlier. The sixth film in Roger Corman's Poe cycle and the first film adaption of a H.P. Lovecraft story- The Haunted Palace. 
     All that and Kevin and Dave make the most of their time, ignoring the mysterious disappearances around them. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 471- Full Court Haunt

Maxxed Out

     This week- We pick up a guy from jail and join a tale of revenge that has been told three times before. That's right- Kevin, Craig, and Dave are talking about Apple TV's Cape Fear episode 1.

   Cape Fear Minisode #1- Maxxed Out

It Takes A Village

     This week a look at one of the cultiest cult television series that tried to shatter its audience's ideas about... everything...

     An unnamed government employee angrily resigns. While packing after heading home, he is gassed unconscious and wakes up in  The Village, a quirky yet charming seaside village. Cut off from the outside world and endlessly questioned by the Village's leader, a figure that only goes but the name Number 2. Will the Prisoner escape? Will he ever confront the elusive Number One?  A surreal and nightmarish allegory- The Prisoner.

     All that and Anna returns, Tyler watches from a safe distance, Kevin wants information, Craig insists he is not a number, and Dave wears the face of another primate. Join us, won't you?

   Episode 468- It Takes A Village

Don't Hate the Player

     This week- two movies about men reintegrating into society after extended absences for vastly different reasons.

     Conor lives a life cut off from the world with Sandy, his dog. Finding himself intrigued by a video game ad promising more immersion than ever before. What starts as disappointment soon leads to a journey beyond Conor's door to places he never imagined. The sixth existential DIY analog odyssey from Albert Birney- OBEX.
     Eddie finally comes home after five years as a prisoner of war. Soon he learns things have changed more than he ever imagined and there is no help coming from those important to his previous life or the VA. Driven to an extreme, Eddie tried a desperate move to take care of himself and his mother. Michael Pressman's ambitiously social commentary dramedy that was butchered by the studio but still propped up by a strong performances from Richard Pryor and the supporting cast- Some Kind of Hero.
     All that and Tyler's canvas gets more crowded, Craig explores new avenues, Kevin grumbles about the future, and Dave considers wanting information. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 467- Don't Hate the Player

A Good Day to Nakadai Hard

     This week a four film tribute to an actor whose career spanned seven decades, the legendary Tatsuya Nakadai.

     A penniless samurai leaves his wife for improved social status and the daughter of wealthy family. A young woodcutter, taking refuge from a blizzard, confronts a yuki-onna. A blind musician performs for a dead Emperor, who plans to keep him playing in his ghostly court forever. A lord sees a face he doesn't know reflected back in his cup of tea and soon is visited by their ghostly and murderous attendants. Widely regarded as one of the most beautiful films of all time and based on the legends collected by Yakumo Koizumi, whose work gave Western audiences their first look into Japanese culture- Kwaidan.
     An amoral master swordsman, with a habit of random street murders, has to leave his home after killing an opponent after a duel and takes his opponent's wife with him. Two years later, in Edo, he has joined a secret assassin squad to support the shogunate and his past begins to catch up with him. The first in a planned trilogy, never completed due to the amounts of violence in the first film, based on one of the longest books ever written over 41 volumes and published over 28 years, The Sword of Doom.
     Masagoro Kiryuin, a contradictor gang-boss who sees himself as a chivalric protector, adopts a daughter. Matsue is smart, has a thirst for knowledge, and struggles against the boundaries society has set for her. A yakuza melodrama that covers several decades of their lives- Onimasa (aka Kiryûin Hanako no shôgai).
     2,217 British and Australian prisoners of war had been forced to work on the Burma railway and build a bridge. Now they are being taken to Japan to fill in the increasing manpower shortage. Stuffed into the hold of a hell ship, without enough air, water, or food, it seems unlikely the majority will survive to their destination. Or will they all die at the hands of patrolling American submarines? Not a sequel to the similarly titled classic, Return from the River Kwai. 
All that and Kevin might never Returnal from his current obsession, Craig shares a pain Tyler knows well, and Dave might be napping in his chair. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 449- A Good Day to Nakadai Hard

Daddy's Back

     This week- two movies about people trapped in places they are unable to leave. Some metaphorically, others literally.

     Sascha drifts through her days, getting by as well as she can at work and with occasional visits to her young son. Maria is a dreamer who wants to be a performer and poet. When sparks fly between them, both women embrace their blooming romance but can't see how it could be threatened by their individual outlooks. The second feature by Henrika Kull, Bliss.
     Carlin just wants to keep to himself after he is transferred to a new borstal. Archer is doing his best to inconvenience the staff as peacefully as possible until his sentence is over. Alan Clarke's scathing and unflenching look at the brutality of the old UK borstal sytem, Scum.
     All that and Tyler self soothes, Craig ends his hibernation, Dave feels the ennui, and Kevin's plan for world domination begins to germinate. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 306- Daddy's Back

Filmy Shades of Gray

      This week Dave leads us through an amazing journey and we learn all that we should know. 
     The best video game movie and it isn't even based on a video game but there IS a video game marketing tie-in that is actually based on the source comic but whatever. When she shortcuts through his dream subspace, manic pixie dream template, Ramona Flowers will draw our Canadian hero into a fight for his life against The League of Evil Exes. Can the day be saved, the girl be won, and everything brought to a satisfactory conclusion or are we one fight away from the League expanding its membership when Scott Pilgrim vs the World.
     Not content to leave a certain warm fuzzy nostalgia place, we take a long and fairly meandering trip to Californiaaaa. In order to keep his deeply PTSD brother from being institutionalized, Corey sneaks him away. Without a dime to their names or a real plan, the boys survive by hustling all the very conveniently placed PlayChoice-10 arcade machines scattered through the American Midwest. Learning about the Video Armageddon Championship competition, the boys and their new friend, Haley, resolve to win the prize money and make a new lives for themselves. Unfortunately, the boys father and a child recovery specialist is on their trail. What will become of The Wizard?
     A year with the Jian family in Taipei. Father, NJ, is dissatisfied with his job and his first big love just walked back into his life. His wife's depression and constant care of her comatose mother leads her to the only solution she can think of. His daughter embarks on her own first romance and love triangle. His son searches for a way to some how express his feelings at his rapidly changing and upheaved home life. A film about moments of life, one after another, Yi Yi.
     In 1987, Jerry Lundergaard arranged for his wife's kidnapping in an effort to scam a million dollars out of his father-in-law. It didn't go as planned. Marge Gunderson is the police chief of Brainerd, Minnesota  and seven months pregnant. One of her officers was murdered during a traffic stop. One of Joel and Ethan Coen's many black comedic masterpieces- Fargo.
     Join us, won't you?

Episode 211- Filmy Shades of Gray

Lost in D'Onofrio

      A movie about a family lost in outer space and one about someone lost in inner space. 

     When serial killer Carl Stargher is found comatose on his kitchen floor, a desperate detective turns to an experimental therapy to help find her location. The therapy requires Catherine Deane to dive deep into Stargher's subconscious. A visual marvel from a master of imagery. Can anyone escape from The Cell.

     The year is 2058 and Earth is dying. In order to prepare a new world for colonization the family Robinson launch in the Jupiter II to build the other end of a jumpgate. Tragically, the missions is sabotaged by the villainous Doctor Smith just before launch. Now the Robinsons, their pilot, and Smith are all light-years and decades off target and in a part of the galaxy never before seen by human eyes. Why they sent a family comprised of three doctors and two preteens instead of, I don't know, an experienced deep space construction crew is a mystery for the ages. Not that it matters. All that matters is the Robinsons are Lost in Space!!!
     All that and Tyler makes a sacrifice to the bewb tube, Kevin watches a very long documentary, and Dave feels feelings he's just not ready to feel. Join us, won't you? 

Episode 204- Lost in D'Onofrio

Willie Robbers

      Two movies that shed light on the difference between theft and larceny. 

     When their homes are targeted by the local country club as an idea spot for their new golf course, the Goon Dock's young residents won't take it lying down. A stolen map, bike, wish, and wallet all lead to a classic adventure with a small amount of grave robbing. The petty larceny never ends when you are hanging on the strings of green and blues with The Goonies.

     Down on his luck Zed arrives in Paris with the hope of reconnecting with an old friend who has a job waiting for him. After an afternoon with a lovely young woman and a night celebrating with his friend, Zed gets to work. The work just happens to be breaking into a vault while his friend runs hostage control. One of them happens to be really terrible at his job. Breaking into a bank vault is theft. I know, I didn't expect it either. Of course why does any of that matter when they are Killing Zoe?

     All that and Tyler makes Dave hurt himself while Kevin completes his Iron Throne of popsicle sticks. Join us, won't you?

Episode 202- Willie Robbers

Helmets Save Lives

     This week two movies with two wheeled action. Sorta. 

     Idiosyncratic Australian auteur Brian Trenchard-Smith gets deep into the heart of what all kids wanted in that mystical time between the Atari crash and the rise of Nintendo.... BMX bikes and walkie-talkies. A bank robbery crew loses their brand new walkie-talkies to a trio of young race maniacs two days before their biggest haul ever. The young race maniacs are desperately trying to find ways to raise the money to open Sydney's own BMX track facility. The police just want everyone to clear their emergency channel... which appears to be the only one used in Australia. Will the thieves get their hands on the kids before their deadline? Can the kids make enough money to bring BMX to the people? Can the police actually leave the station and do the smallest amount of actual policing? Can anyone stop the BMX Bandits?
     One of the greatest comic book adaptions based on the long running UK cult series that somehow tanked so painfully hard in the box office that some of us will never recover from this disappointment. On the streets of Mega-City One, he is the law. Until he finds himself locked in the 200 story Peach Trees high-rise completely controlled by the vicious gang behind a new drug called Slo-Mo. In Peach Trees, Ma-Ma believes she is the law. Which is right and how many rounds will be fired in the proving? Can anything, except the terrible lingering Stallone aftertaste, stop Dredd?
     All that and Tyler experiences a new warm fuzzy feeling, Dave monster mashes through Hong Kong, and Kevin likes to watch... through the window. Join us, won't you?

Episode 199- Helmets Save Lives

Bronze Weasels and a Nice Chianti

      This week Lucas returns, summoned by the siren calls of Ted Levine and Donny Wahlberg. Did he see their glory or dash himself upon the rocks?

     Pulled from her new agent training, Clarice Starling is asked to have a nice sit down with an infamous cannibal named Hannibal. Meanwhile, a new killer has just taken victim #7, the daughter of a senator, and the countdown until she faces the same fate as all the others begins. Will the cannibal help or is he playing his own game? How did the FBI interviewers and background checkers not catch young Clarice's desperation for The Silence of the Lambs?
     The second most intense US-Canada sports rivalry. A test of skill, endurance, and speed. The US team reigned supreme from the birth of international play, only to finally fall to Canadians coached by a former teammate. With the 2004 Paralympic Games looming, can the US Team regain their supremacy for the gold or has the rest of the world begun to give them a taste of true competition? One of the best sports films ever made- Murderball.
     From the book by Stephen King filtered through the script and direction of Lawrence Kasdan comes the tale of five friends and the poop alien out to conquer the world. Somewhere between the realms of high concept, fun b-film, and Sia level of disabled people parody you can find Dreamcatcher.
     All that and Kevin's long term memory loss continues, Lucas and Tyler slathers themselves in preparation for the Snyder Cut, and Dave documents a century of pop culture. Join us, won't you?

Episode 197- Bronze Weasels and a Nice Chianti

West of Temptation and Power

     Bringing February to an end with a four pack of African-American directed films. 

     The film that finally gave Denzel Washington his long overdue Oscar. A film that launched a thousand cheap imitators to dominate the decade's award bait genres. Birthing AFI's 50th Greatest Screen Villain and so far two different TV continuations. Antoine Fuqua's turn of the Century crime classic- Training Day

     Previously only known for his cinematography, Ernest Dickerson slid in with a masterful assurance to deliver a standout feature at the height of the 90s urban crime wave. Starring Tupac Shakur, in only his second film role (his first being a cameo with Digital Underground in Nothing But Trouble the year before) just before the release of his landmark second album, and Omar Epps, in his film debut. Tired of being pushed around and desperate for respect, Bishop talks his friends into robbing a corner store. It all goes very wrong from there but one might still get some Juice.
     One of the most unique vampire films ever made. A minister in training finds himself at a crossroads and visits his friend in New York City. Little does he expect to be brought straight into the sights of the forces of Hell. With Temptation breathing down his neck, can his friends pull him out of its clutches or will they all be Def by Temptation. 

     A western that uses all the genre's features with the laudable goal to bring the focus on real African-American cowboys (who made up between 20-25%, Mexican vaquero accounted for 33%... 30% of Texas settlers were African-American). Tragically, it doesn't quite reach it's target. A large ensemble cast leaves too many with nothing to do and no impact on the narrative or audience. It's determined drive to try and get it's fictional hero a place among the best known Old West folk heroes leaves a lot to be desired. Mario Van Peebles' valiant but messy Posse.  
     All that and Kevin feels the feels he feels, Tyler might be cooking up something in a wheeled kitchen, and Dave has an honest heart to heart with all writers out there. Join us, won't you?

Episode 194- West of Temptation and Power

Caat Kune Doh

      This week Kevin makes Tyler's happy happy and Craig roundhouse kicks everyone in the teeth.... or would if his leg could lift higher than a shuffle.

     At long last the world of Harmony Korine is unleashed upon us. In the tornado devastated town of Xenia, Ohio a pair of point and laugh redneck kids stumble around killing cats and grannies. Meanwhile three sisters and a guy with a bunny hat and shorts lead a parade of different looking people who are there for you to point and laugh at... Gummo.

     From Nepal comes wannbe action hero and all around blighted sponge on the memory of Bruce Lee- Shuny Bee. What happens if you take a real life Johnny Lawrence and his students make a film around him? Basically this but even less competent and head up the ass pretensions and desperate than you are imagining. Don't join the Fight of Fury.

     All that and Dave forgot his brainwash, Kevin tries to shame us all with his classy, and Tyler is in a happy place trance. Join us, won't you?

Episode 191- Caat Kune Doh

Grudge Match

     This week we bring Japanuary to a close with an overview of theatrical released Ju-On films.

     Seven people all wonder into the wrong house for various reasons and regret it pretty quickly. Kayako and Toshio unleash their brand of revenge in Ju-On: The Grudge (2002).

     Seeing the potential there, Hollywood was quick to get their own but wisely decided to bring the original creator along with a bigger budget and a fistful of CW actors in The Grudge (2004)

     Some times you lose sight of why a series works and make really bad follow ups in a new continuity... Like what happened with Leatherface seventy times. Ju-On: The Beginning of the End (2014).

     Finally who doesn't love a good tag team match? Sadako vs Kayako (2016) breathes new life into two of the century's most dominant nightmares.
Join us, won't you?

Episode 190- Grudge Match

Necro Firearm Escape

      This week the last hand painted film, the most recent war blockbuster, and our third Asami film!

      A pair of assassins drive through the dessert. To cover the hours one tells the tale of a doctor who becomes a revenge focused mastermind when his wife is murdered. The doctor buys a woman, an addict sex worker, and molds her into the ultimate killing machine. An amazing physical lead performance drives this exploitation action fest. As the blood flies and the nipples expose, can anything stop Gun Woman?

     British and French forces are pushed to the northern beaches and surrounded in the town of Dunkirk. Looking at the evacuation from land, sea, and air, Christopher Nolan wrangles a large ensemble cast between epic war story of Dunkirk.

     Prestigious Ginei Studios has gone bankrupt and shut it's doors for the last time. In celebration of it's glorious past television interviewer Genya and his cameraman Kyoji have a life spanning interview with the studio's biggest star, Chiyoko Fujiwara, who disappeared from the spotlight thirty years earlier. A surreal work from one of Japan's undisputed masters of animation, Millennium Actress.

     All that and next week we bring Japanuary to a close with a look at the seminal J-horror series JU-ON. Join us, won't you?

Episode 189- Necro Firearm Escape