Dial-a-Surf

    This week a master experiments with their art and a dude goes to the beach.

     When former professional tennis player Tony learns of his wife's affair with a crime fiction writer, he concocts a scheme that would make Agatha Christie herself take some notice. Leaning on a fellow Cambridge alumnus, he rolls his plan into motion. Unfortunately, events take a turn. Can Tony salvage his scheme? Will the incredibly disinterested police inspector solve his tangled puzzle? To find out- Dial M for Murder.
     Billy wants to be a kite surfer. To help him achieve this dream, all of Texas passes the hat and raises enough money to get him to a competition of questionable prestige. En route he picks up a pretty hitchhiker and sparks fail to ignite. Soon stakes happen and there's a mean Frenchmen and 2 Chainz and other people. Non of it matters as long as Billy can Send It!
     All that and Tyler reevaluates a superhero of biblical proportions, Kevin doesn't like a joke, Dave tried to silence a radio, and Craig finally begins his long gestating plan of global domination. Join us, won't you?

Episode 247- Dial-a-Surf

Love Spectrum

     This week a three course shot of amour celebrating less than usual couples.

     Sandra has always had an attraction towards death. While studying to become an embalmer, she begins a torrid affair with Matt, a med student who can't quite grasp why she can't open up to him as she does her dead lovers. Sandra refuses to stop her rigor rides. Matt gets a little overwhelmed. How far will he go to be Kissed?

     A love triangle in The City by the Bay. A tale as old as the invention of the printed circuit board. Boy buys a computer, girl meets boy, computer becomes sapient when champagne is spilled in it, computer romances girl, boy gets credit, computer tries to kill and replace boy. We have all heard this story a thousand times... but this one also has multiple music video breaks. Will the always be together in Electric Dreams?
     While wondering through the worst security hospital in the hemisphere, Danny meets super powered hypnosis killer Byron Volpe and sleeping beauty Laura. So taken by the young woman, Danny decides to kidnap her and keep her as a pet in his totally unprepared apartment where she is sure to slowly starve to death OR, maybe, choke as he tries to shove bran down her snoring throat. Volpe doesn't take kindly to this and soon orchestrates events to a show down crammed with imagery ripped wholesale from dystopian surrealist Beksinski. Will Laura rouse beyond her dream or will her Parasomnia envelop them all?

     Episode 246- Love Spectrum

Scratched Bark

     This week environmentalism in space and serial killing on Earth.

     The third rock is deforested. All that remains of its plant life and the species dependent on them are stored in massive geodesic domes attached to cargo ships. Word finally comes down that the project is to be abandoned, with all domes destroyed and ships returned to commercial use. Freeman Lowell, resident botanist and ecologist aboard Valley Forge, rebels to save the last dome and with it all that remains of Earth's native plant life. Hoping to hide in the rings of Saturn, Lowell is alone in the dark and Silent Running.
     A serial killer stalks all martial arts masters in the city. Desperate to get out of her assignment to Vice, detective Linda Masterson, played by the tragically misused Cynthia Rothrock, leverages her knowledge of martial arts to get on the case. For reasons, the prime one being his actor fronted much of the money to make the film, her captain decides that she needs the help of another karate cop, Sgt Tarek Richards, played by the less discussed the better Jalal Merhi. Richards soon does a tedious sexism and leaves her in the car while he goes to show off his complete lack of charm and fight skills. Not even Bolo Yeung, stoically shirtless and ready to rumble, can pull this out of the gaping pit of uncharismatic talentless ego driving the scenes. Just why, Tiger Claws?
     All that and Kevin outpaces all, Tyler gets a sprain from fanboy hype, and Dave discovers there's a little Jalal in us all. Join us, won't you?

Episode 245- Scratched Bark

Gnarly Devil

    This week we cruise while a legion of damned jib to cut us up on the pow.

     John Jaspers was a bad artist until the day his lady was killed by some human smugglers. To get his justice, John sells his soul to M, and starts his short career as Hell's hitman. It isn't long before John is stopped, committed to the care of a beautiful and determined young psychologist, and M comes to complete their deal. Based on an indie comic- Faust: Love of the Damned.
     College student Cole believes he's taking his girlfriend, Kimberly, up to her father's newly purchased ski lodge with a tragic history for a little alone time with naked cuddles and shredding pow. Unfortunately, Kimberly has other plans. Including bringing along all her BBF, her cousin, two pro snowboarders, and a hanger on to film every possible second of rad stomps and zeechy face plants. Unfortunately, there is at least one skier who isn't a fan of snowboarders and will stop at nothing to ensure they follow the rules. Why do I keep expecting Cole to talk about food or break out in song? Who will escape by taking this fresh like a real Shredder?
     All that and Dave becomes a cat, Tyler gets feels, and Kevin gets meta. Join us, won't you?

Episode 244- Gnarly Devil

Boardingcells

     This week two deeply personal films from multi-hyphenate writer-director-producer-actors. 

     When Jim Royce inherits the mansion of his recently deceased uncle, he does what anyone would and immediately reopens it as a boardinghouse for young, single, female aspiring models and actresses. As the rooms fill up, strange things begin to happen in this mostly happy-ish pseudo-sorority. Will Jim live his harem dreams? Will Victoria's band be signed by a hot record producer? Will Cindy break the cycle of abuse? Will, nay SHOULD, any of them survive the house warming party? The 80s shot on video cult classic- Boardinghouse.
     Ron Decker is sentenced to two years in prison on a drug charge. Before long he finds himself taken under the wing of veteran convict Earl Copen. Copen reviews Decker's case before the 90 day sentence adjustment window closes and help him acclimate to life inside. Will Ron get an early release? Will Copen's influence put him on the tragic path of constant incarceration and release that many suffer? Is Ron even able to rehabilitate? Is all of this just nonsense for the prison industrial complex run amuck? Are we just feeding people to an Animal Factory? 
     All that and Tyler gets euphoric, Dave walks the dark streets, and Kevin gets his freak on. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 243- Boadingcells

Ghost Law

    This week a threesome of video game adaptions from Japan. Including one of the best video game adaptions ever made. So far, anyway.

     33 years ago Earth was invaded by the Phantoms, ethereal aliens that kill with a touch and devour their victim's very soul. Doctors Aki Ross and Sid, with a small squad of soldiers, race to collect 8 special spirits to heal Gaia before General Hein can fire a big ass canon into the planet. The only film made by Square Pictures, directed by a game industry legend, raising the bar for computer generated characters to a level that has rarely been met, one of the best scores written since the dawn of the current century, and a voice cast stuffed with "Hey! It's that guy" types. One of the largest box office bombs in history that has gone one to not just build a dedicated cult and referred to as a masterpiece by SquareEnix published games to this day. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
     Yuki, her brother Hideo, and their father movie to Yamajima Island in the desperate hope that a doctor there can finally help with a truama induced affliction. They take residence in a dusty house long abandoned by its last occupant. It isn't long until Yuki starts to witness strange events and stumbles into the meeting place of a local cult. Will she be a victim of whatever force is loose on Yamajima or will she escape the call of the... Forbidden Siren
     The court system, overburdened by the sheer number of crimes, introduces a bold new method of justice- The Bench Trial System. Two lawyers face off directly in open court and have a maximum of three days to make their case before a verdict is rendered. Phoenix Wright has just won his first case but, before he can celebrate, his mentor is murdered and he finds himself defending Mya, his mentor's younger sister and spirit medium in training. Opposing him is his childhood friend, Miles Edgeworth. Soon all three are caught up in a mystery that they all have personal stakes in. Can Phoenix rise to the task and become an Ace Attorney?
     All that and Dave dives deep, Kevin has new feelings to feel, and Tyler lives in denial. Join us, won't you?

Episode 242- Ghost Law

Cellular Purgatory

    This week- a data plan from hell and a manga brought to life.

     From the shockingly prolific Takashi Miike, a horror about early 2000s modernity. Yumi's friend gets a call from her own cell number, not a scammer. It leaves a message with a timestamp three days in the future, still not a scammer, and the sound of her friend's horrific death, still not a scammer. When the day and hour arrives, the unthinkable happens. Before long all around Yumi are targets of some malevolent force that can reach out through technology, not scammers. A film that might not have aged as well as they expected but it did kick off a successful series- One Missed Call.
     Two high school students are hit by a subway train... and wake up in a room full of strangers and a large mysterious black ball. Soon they will take their places in the only line of defense between Earth and alien invaders. Judged on their performances in battle, the two struggle to buy their freedom from the 100 point menu. Popcorn action at its finest and a great reminder of why Hollywood isn't going to stop their own manga adaptions anytime soon- Gantz.
     All that and Dave revisits some old friends, Tyler regrets nothing, and Kevin is taken away on the corpse cart. Join us, won't you?

  Episode 241- Cellular Purgatory