PADME!

     This week we discuss ancient history in a place not remotely near any of us. 

     It is a time of dishevel as the Trade Federation takes negotiations to drastic levels. Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi attempt to open new lines of communication, only to be hurled into a multi-planet adventure where they will discover The Space Messiah and face off against... STAR WARS: EPISODE 1- The Phantom Menace!
     Ten years have passed and still no Jedi has come to understand the concept of balance. Obi-Wan finds himself on a mission in a missing solar system. Anakin Skywalker finds himself getting funky with a senator in the Naboo lake area. Soon the long brewing war will boil over into full intergalactic slaughter. STAR WARS: EPISODE 2- Attack of the Clones.
     Three more years have come and gone. Anakin feels that not enough of his fellow Jedi kiss his butt enough, so he joins the Dark Side with little to no prompting. Obi-Wan has a side story against a robot general to take him out of the main action. Some folks love it, others do not. Still you can't argue that it's the last in the Prequel Trilogy... STAR WARS: EPISODE 3- Revenge of the Sith.
     Fifteen years ago Galen Erso was ripped from his hiding place to help the Empire build their ultimate weapon and his daughter, Jyn, was taken under the wing of super rebel Saw Gerrera. Since then Jyn has grown into a full tilt bad ass action hero. When Galen gets a message out about a weakness he has hidden in the ultimate weapon, Jyn gathers a team to get the plans and make sure that it is never used on the repressed planets. She gathers a team including BFFs Baze Malbus and Chirrut Îmwe. Unfortunately, the Resistance saddles her with an incompetent babysitter named Cassian Andor. Andor is just there interrupt all character moments and incompetently stumbles in the way of every other while making sure no one ever stops thinking about better similar characters that appeared in the other movies. Andor is the fucking worst and ensures that they can't possibly succeed in Rogue One: A STAR WARS STORY.
     All that and Tyler feels something akin to joy, Dave's suffering manifests as actual tooth pain, and Kevin stops to smell a lot of roses as a desperate measure of holding on to his sanity.
Join us, won't you?

Episode 259- PADME!

Wrestling Lovers

     This week two totally unrelated groups oiled up and groping each other. 
     One the greatest to ever step into a wrestling ring, El Santo, faces off against the forced of evil once again. With the Blue Demon in tow, Santo stands against a full stable of off brand Universal Monsters. Action, adventure, romance, a mask match against a vampire. All the lucha your heart could desire. Santo and the Blue Demon vs the Monsters! (Santo el enmascarado de plata y Blue Demon contra los monstruos)
     Bella Cherry arrives in LA from Sweden with a laser focus on becoming the next big name in porn. With another newcomer from her model house, she navigates the world of adult entertainment and pushes her personal boundaries farther than she ever expected. A powerhouse performance, a slightly less male gaze look at the industry and a passing nod at almost all its inherent issues. Pleasure makes for one impressive debut feature.
     All that and Dave takes a nap, Kevin lords his classy taste over us, and Tyler prepares for the glory to come. Join us, won't you?

Episode 258- Wrestling Lovers

Glowing Axe Dances

    This week whirling, fast, furious, breathtaking, intricately choreographed action of multiple varieties.
     LeRoy dreams of becoming a great martial arts master. Taking a journey to find a master who will help him unlock The Glow, the final level of accomplishment which allows one to channel energy into a glow around their body. Sho'Nuff, another martial artist, sees LeRoy as the last remaining obstacle to his being acknowledged as the True Master of Martial Arts. Meanwhile, a mogul with criminal tendencies sends his men to kidnap a popular local VJ to force her into playing his girlfriend's video on the air and in a prime location. Soon all of their fates are on a collision course. Who will emerge as The Last Dragon?
     The violent and brutal Axe Gang rule the streets. Sing and Bone are small time hustlers who aspire to join the gang and shakedown that uses the people's fear. When a small extortion doesn't go as planned, the slum of Pig Sty Alley becomes a giant battleground between the gang and some unlikely heroes. Part kung fu action, part live action cartoon, part attempt to bring a modern high budget slickly stylish take on classic Hong Kong martial arts films to a world suddenly hungry for them- Kung Fu Hustle.
     A film based on a musical based on an Italian film. Charity Hope Valentine is a taxi dancer who longs for love. With a spirited and charming lead performance and some solid musical numbers to back it up, maybe there's some hope for Sweet Charity after all.
All that and Kevin tried mind bendingly long form films, Anna gets her prestige TV on, and Dave reads a book with lots of pictures. Join us, won't you?

Episode 257- Glowing Axe Dances

Varying Degrees of Peril

    This week a women in varying degrees of danger and distress.

     Biker Ako joins Mei and her all girl gang, The Stray Cats/Alleycats, for a knife fight. Meanwhile, Mei's boyfriend is so desperate to join the right-wing nationalist Seiyu Group. He takes the assignment of talking an old boxer friend into taking a dive. Things do not go as planned, which places Mei and the girls firmly in the group's sites and on the run through the youth corridors of Shnjuku, Tokyo. What will happen to Stray Cat Rock: Delinquent Girl Boss (aka Alleycat Rock: Female Boss)?

     Mr. Wilson works for the US government hunting a Nazi war criminal, Franz Kindler, who erased all records of his existence. Following a known associate of Kindler's to Connecticut his path will soon intersect with those of Mary Longstreet, daughter of a Supreme Court Justice, and her fiancé Charles Rankin, prep school teacher and clock enthusiast. The first feature to use real Holocaust concentration camp footage. What secrets will be unearthed by The Stranger?

     After a tragic accident bereaves them of a child, Rachel and Anthony take their surviving child halfway around the world to the Finish town Anthony grew up in. Soon unusual things begin happening to Rachel and her son. Does something demonic and evil lurk under their feet? You will probably figure it out early and have to endure the remaining 70 or so minutes with teeth gritted. Better yet- just do not watch The Twin.
     All that and Dave paints a letter while Kevin learns just how long he can sit before his butt goes numb. Join us, won't you?

Episode 256- Varying Degrees of Peril

Musically Inclined

      This week we close out April with a mixtape of jams just for you.

"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"- Hustle & Flow, DJay

"Love Will Tear Us Apart"- Control, Joy Division

"Too High to Cry Too Rare to Care"- Uncle Peckerhead, Duh

"That Thing You Do!"- That Thing You Do, The O'Needers
"Padme Cometh"- Tyler and the Padwans
"Seven Hour Art Picture Show"- The Tartan Experience
"Crying in the Arcade Neon"- Bearded Tragedy

     We hope you like it. Timing out the ads was freaking hard.

Episode 255- Musically Inclined

The Chilean Epistle

     This week- two films about reaching out to the wide world through the written word.
     It is the last issue of the Eunni-sur-Blazé bureau of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Star. Take a look at the final articles to ever roll off those presses and the lovingly crowd sourced obituary of its managing editor and co-founder. A parody tribute to the gone 1950s glory days of The New Yorker. A film that takes many of that publications best contributors and twees them to maddening levels. A film so Wes Anderson that if it's ever screened with any of this other films it may rip apart our reality... The French Dispatch.
     Daniela is eager to explore her sexuality despite the oppression of her heavily Protestant family. She starts a blog to share her exploration with others in similar circumstances. Before long she finds herself in a precarious position at home and questioning everything she was raised to believe while also perusing relationships with two coworkers at her religious television internship. Will she return to her faith? Will she pick the religious boyfriend or the secular girlfriend? How many different lives can she juggle before they all collapse upon her? How long until her mother discovers her blog? Will Daniela settle or remain Young & Wild (Joven y alocada)?
     All that and Dave becomes the night, Tyler forgets something, and Kevin makes peace with visitors from beyond the sky. Join us, won't you?

 
Episode 254- The Chilean Epistle

Let Sleeping Pods Lie

    This week two films about the loss of one's soul in the quest to conform with one's social peers.

     The small town of Santa Mira is having a transient Capgras delusion epidemic. Town physician, Dr. Miles Bennell, is urgently called back from his vacation to try and deal with it. Before long, the good doctor and his suddenly divorced former girlfriend are caught up in a plot of intergalactic origin and just one short catnap away from being consumed by the first film version of modern fiction's most versatile metaphor- Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
     John LeTour, a delivery boy for a high class dealer, is having a midlife crisis. Consumed with feelings directionless with increasing loss of perspective as his boss contemplates moving from pharmaceuticals into cosmetics, he suffers from insomnia and uses his nights filling up composition notebooks journaling his adrift memories. One night, when dropping off a little something for a connection, he runs into his former lover as she maintains vigil over her dying mother. Soon John will be caught up in a murder investigation, a reignited obsession, and the ever piling garbage. Light Sleeper.
     All that and Dave's gotta go fast, Tyler gets an upgrade, and Kevin surprises everyone. Join us, won't you?

Episode 253- Let Sleeping Pods Lie