Mutant Beavers

     This week- a pair of features occupying areas adjacent to classic cartoons.

     When his applejack distillery is destroyed in an accident, Jean Kayak has to find a new trade to survive the harsh winter. Taking up fur trading, something he doesn't exactly excel at, he soon finds love and danger in the forms of The Furrier and Hundreds of Beavers.

     Super powered mutants are being born all around the world, these evolutionary leaps are treated with fear and bigotry. Now the United States government is trying to pass an act that would require mutants to reveal their identities and powers. When Marie's powers manifest during her first kiss, landing her liplocker in a coma, she runs away. Soon she finds herself in Canada, meeting a gruff drifter named Logan. When their paths are forced into a collision course between the opposing ideologies of Magneto and Professor Charles Xavier, leader of the X-Men.
     All that and Dave is somewhere else, Tyler gets all lovey on a sharp thing, and Kevin joins him with a whole gaggle of others. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 374- Mutant Beavers

Swamps are for Squids

     This week- a pair of moves designed to inspire nostalgia, even in the most begrudging of hearts.

     After stopping the nefarious plans of Martin Whistler in the 23rd century, hardboiled trooper Jak Deth chases him back to 1980s Los Angeles. Taking over the body of his ancestor, Phil, Jak must find the body Whistler now inhabits before he can take over the world with his brain washed zombie cult known. The first entry in Full Moon's sprawling sci-fi fantasy series, Trancers.
     Every once in a while a film comes along that so inspires its fandom that they can never loosen their love for it as decades pass. Sometimes they take  victory laps even before the second decade has passed. Is is a loving tribute to a classic 2001 franchise starter? Is it an experiment in absurdist art? Is it a cheap attempt to get free labor out of the online fandom for a quick buck? Maybe yes to all, either way it is Shrek Retold.
     All that and Kevin goes where some of us have gone before, Craig suffers for his sins, Tyler contemplates a change, and Dave just wants to have fun. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 373- Swamps are for Squids

Unsimulated Car Chase

     This week- a pair of films about criminal elements and the fast decent into obsession.

     When his partner is killed, just three days before retirement, Secret Service Agent Richard Chance becomes obsessed with getting revenge on the counterfeiter Eric Masters. As Chance increasingly goes off the rails, indulging in sexual extortion of an informant and kidnapping and assault, his new partner is powerless to rein him in. Masters and Chance head toward an unavoidable confrontation that is the price they pay To Live and Die in L.A.
     Summer on the Belgian-Netherlands border, eight teens indulge in their sexual curiosity to stave off boredom. This light play soon leads them down the paths of sociopathy, sex trafficking, obstruction of traffic, and murder. One of the most Movies to Scare Parents films ever made, a desperate to be shocking tale of the hidden spoiled sociopath predators that must lie in the heart of all youth everywhere... because reasons- We (Dutch title Wij).
     All that and Dave had a night in a museum, Tyler experiences force feedback cinema at its franchisest, Craig watches Japanese classics under a pile of pug, and Kevin gets drills his secret squirrel army in secret. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 372- Unsimulated Car Chase
 

Keep Rollin Rollin Rollin

     This week- a celebration of France's vampire auteur that avoids almost purposefully avoids his beloved vampire work.

     When Frederic sees a photograph of old ruins by the sea, he suddenly remembers a beautiful young woman his preteen self fell in love with. Obsessing over finding the ruins location, he soon finds himself the target of nefarious forces. Will Frederic find solace in the dilapidated stones or will he only see Lips of Blood (aka Levres de sang).
     Driving along a lonely road late at night, Robert comes across a woman running. Stopping to help the obviously distressed and partially dressed blonde, he soon learns that she has memory issues and doesn't remember who or what she was running from or even who she has spent the last few hours with. A tale of medical negligence and patient abuse- The Night of the Hunted (French title- La nuit des traquees).

     Years ago a small French village murdered a squad of Nazis and dumped their bodies in the lake. As everyone should have. Now the Nazis rise again as zombies hellbent on eating all the women they find and reclaiming one's daughter. Considered by some to be one of the worst films ever made- Zombie Lake (original title Les lac des morts vivants).
     French secret service operative Rick is shot and killed. The only clue to the whereabouts of a new bioweapon he had in his possession is a picture of Eva, a young exotic dancer. Soon a desperate race against an evil syndicate in the search for the dreaded weapon begins on The Sidewalks of Bangkok (aka Les trottoirs de Bangkok).
     All that and Dave gets really reference heavy with the 4th wall breaking meta, Kevin hurries his squirrel scientists to complete their doomsday device, Craig has his say, and Tyler calls out from the void. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 371- Keep Rollin Rollin Rollin

Lady of the Wake

     This week- a pair of French speaking serial killers and the people who obsess over them.

     Saskia and Rex are on a biking holiday in France. At a rest stop, Saskia goes to buy drinks and is never seen again. Raymond is a wealthy family man who spends his free time practicing his approach to abducting women. Raymond refines his methods through fumbling trial and error. Three years later, Rex will learn exactly what happened to Saskia. A clinical tour of two men's obsessions that has firmly earned its place as one of the best horror films in world cinema- Spoorloos (aka The Vanishing).

     Kelly-Anne is obsessed with the trial of Ludovic Chevalier, who is accused of being a serial killer that streamed his murders live to the world. She sleeps in an alley the courthouse, sits in the same seat with the best view of the accused, breaks into the homes of victims, and befriends Clementine- a serial killer groupie convinced of Chevalier's innocence. Soon Kelly-Anne joins the hunt down the missing video of the last victim's murder. A French-Canadian descent into cybercrime and obsession stuffed with Arthurian references and a vicious commentary on true crime fandom- Red Rooms.
     All that and Tyler hordes the world's supply of trucker hats, Dave faces off against a giant shark, and Kevin finds a new way out of Craig's basement. Join us, won't you?
   Episode 370- Lady of the Wake
    

Newman's Own French Dressing

     This week- a pair of films about people on the make.

     Small time hustler, Johnny Hooker, accidentally puts a giant target on his own back when steals a large amount of money from a violent crime boss's courier. His only hope is to ruin the crime boss with the help of Henry Gondorff, a once big time con artist currently on the run from the FBI. Together they put on a massive and desperate operation using horses and the wire service while hitmen and federal agents nip at their heels. Will Hooker survive to the end of the con? Will Gondorff give the feds the slip? The Sting.
     After her son is caught filming himself masturbating in class, Romain's mother, Claire, decides it is time for some frank and honest discussions about sex with her family. Does Grandpa go to professionals to avoid emotions? Should Romain be committed for the safety of others because of his dangerous obsession over his own virginity? Why is nothing done with either of the siblings except sex scenes and brief time fillers? How does a couple with two adult children and a sexually obsessed teen keep the spark alive? Sexual Chronicles of a French Family.
     All that plus a voice from the ether, Tyler seeks more obscure websites for ever cheapening thriller, Craig contemplates the meaning of hamburgers and disappointment, and Dave finally finishes his personal Oxygen Destroyer. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 369- Newman's Own French Dressing

Sirloin Sovereign

     This week we jump back to 1985 for a double feature of b-movie bliss. 

     Just before Christmas, Lane Meyer's only two interests, his girlfriend and skiing, are ripped away from him by Roy Stalin, the bully ski team captain. Unfortunately, Lane is about on par with the rest of the town for eccentricities and he does not take this dual rejection well. Plus he's living in the shadow of his genius younger brother, delightful mother, psychotic paperboy, race obsessed twins, and a best friend from a home so horrific that it can only be obliquely referenced to keep everything nice and family friendly. Can Lane find away to claim his rightful place on the ski team? Will he be able to mend his broken heart? Will the French exchange student next door break and dispose of the family she's living with? Or is Lane just Better Off Dead? 
     On the day of Queen Amethea's wedding her village is attacked by the evil and very rapey forces of Lord Arrakur. With everyone except her handmaiden and herself either murdered or captured to be sold into slavery, Amethea begins a quest to save her people and rid the world of the evil Arrakur. Unfortunately, she isn't very competent at anything other than being captured and leered at while misogynist kink fantasies play out. Will Queen Amethea bring justice to the land? Will the hidden rebels find a figure to rally behind? Can anything stop the revenge of the Barbarian Queen?
     All that and Tyler and Dave get retro vibes with MaXXXine, Kevin finds himself lost among the sword and sandals set, and Craig learns that sometimes a 4-point turn just isn't enough. Join us, won't you?
    Episode 367- Sirloin Sovereign